X-husband wants to take children to a Halloween party an hour away, on what is a school night, and doesn't know when he will get back, but the hayride doesn't start until 9 p.m. Children are 2,4, and 6 years old and usually are supposed to be back to me by 8 p.m. (they live with me, but he gets them one evening a week). He wants to keep them overnight after the party and get them to school the next morning. If I don't let them go, he'll likely tell them that "mommy wouldn't let me take you to a party" and make them sit home (he doesn't approve of trick or treating). Should I let them go, offer to extend the return time until...? 10?... Or just tell him no, that the proposed party is too far away and goes too late. Oh, and his house is 30 minutes from their schools, so they would have to get up extra early the next morning to be on time.
2007-10-17 07:43:09 · 25 answers · asked by Melissa C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know as a mother we like to have routines and stablilty for our children where sometimes the fathers don't see at a level with us especially when we are not together....I understand your concerns considering they are young but, who knows the 2 and 4 year old might wind up falling asleep and things may not pan out as plan.....Give him the benefit of spending time with the children and instead of them staying at his house for the night try to create a decent time for their return so you can take them to school in the morning....Try to work with one another as co-parents....It will make the rest of the years you have left to deal with him alittle easier.....Take it easy....It will get better....
2007-10-17 08:05:10 · answer #1 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what is right for the children and not worry if he tells them that "mommy said no". Somebody has to be willing to say no.
Talk to you X first and explain your concerns. Ask him to please tell the children that he was wrong about the party and that it will be too far for a school night. He can offer to have them a special home party for Halloween than night, even invite some of the neighborhood children and then you will know they will be at his home and in bed at a decent hour. And the children will get a special party to celebrate Halloween.
If he refuses then tell him that the children will have to stay home for Halloween then and he can come and get them on a weekend night.
Good Luck
2007-10-17 07:55:30 · answer #2 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your children were older, I'd say let him take them. But I don't think a 2 and 4 year old especially need to be out that late. Especially this time of year where it is pretty cold after dark.
If he does tell your kids you didn't let them go, that's okay. Someone has to be the parent. Just tell them that's right, Mommy cares more about you getting sick that about being your friend.
There are plenty of other Halloween activities that he can take them too at a more appropriate time for little ones.
2007-10-17 07:51:45 · answer #3 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw come on let them go....they will have a blast!! It's one night and the next night you can put them to bed early to kinda get them back on track. If he is a decent dad and really wants to do this then let him. As long as you trust him to take care of the kids and keep them safe (especially the little two year old) then I say lighten up and be the bigger person they are his kids too remember?
2007-10-17 09:18:47 · answer #4 · answered by LilSunbeam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let him take them and let them spend the night and he can do the running around in the morning. If you don't you know you will be the bad person. Let him have some fun with the kids so they will be a little tired the next day no harm done.Best of Luck.
2007-10-17 07:49:14 · answer #5 · answered by Virgo Rose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best interest of the children here, but how late do the kids usually go to bed? If it is WAY past then I would say no. If you're looking at an hour past, then why not. It is one night, and he wants to do something special with them.
2007-10-17 07:58:14 · answer #6 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let him. It's only one day, and really, the 6 year old is the only one to whom school should be an issue. (what is a 4 year old going to miss??)
Maybe they can pick up their school work the day before and he can make sure they do it BEFORE they go to the party....
I don't think that one night is going to screw them up all that much. Be flexible and let their dad do something out of the ordinary with them.
2007-10-17 08:06:01 · answer #7 · answered by jstgrace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the scheme of things, it doesn't really matter if the kids stay up late one night, but I still think it's stupid to take kids that young on a hayride that late.
2007-10-17 07:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by x2000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes as the parent with the most logic, you have to be the bad guy. I would not let him do it. I would give them a 10pm curfew at the latest. You and I both know that children especially young ones, need to be well rested for school or else they are cranky all day. He should know better too.
2007-10-17 07:58:00 · answer #9 · answered by Charlee's Mama 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give an inch and he will take a mile don't let the kids go but explain to them why, you don't want to upset there routine, they will be exhausted the following day, they are too young for that anyway.
2007-10-17 08:08:44 · answer #10 · answered by alan w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋