My husband has been in jail a little over 2 weeks for assualt on me, we've been married almost 2 years and since hes been gone I've been with another guy, a guy that is so nice and sweet and caring, and I have fallen for him and he has me to. I know it seems wrong but is it really?
2007-10-17 07:22:54 · 33 answers · asked by nextelfan25 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do 2 wrongs make a right? The answer is no. However, it is understandable that you are reaching out. If your husband is abusive, I suggest while he is in jail you start to make and carry out, if possible, plans to leave him. You probably already know that changing the behaviors of an abuser is not easy and in fact, many never change. The cycle of abuse usually only worsens.
Right now you are probably having allot of feelings and emotions and your life is crazy. Crazy times are not the time for making decisions of the heart. I encourage you to focus on getting out of this situation, dealing with the emotional and psychological issues of being abused and getting your life back on track before even thinking about romance.
2007-10-17 07:30:10 · answer #1 · answered by wondermom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As far as cheating on your spouse goes... yeah that's wrong. But you are living under extreme circumstance. Your husband has assaulted you for only you know how long. That in itself is reason to divorce and in my opinion you should. He doesn't make you happy. He hurts you physically and I'm sure emotionally. Most men can't do one without the other. And now that he's out of the picture you've found someone who knows how you should be treated. File for divorce. Leave your husband for good, and really give this opportunity a chance. Cheating is wrong no matter how you dress it up, but it is understandable how you came to that. Do the right thing and end your marriage.
2007-10-17 07:31:21 · answer #2 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Big mistake...ONLY because if you've been assaulted by your husband, you shoud 1. LEAVE 2. LEAVE 3.Get settled and some coulceling, 4. is there achild/children involved? put them first. Get out , get help, THEN worry abou hookin up w/ this sweet guy. I was in a similar, I wasn't married, however, the rest was true enough. I am married now, to the same sweetheart...If he's really a good guy, he'll wait! Take care of yourself first! You DO NOT want to go from one hell to another! By the way, GOOD ON YOU having him arrested for the assault! Hardest thing to do! Takes a strong person! That's the hardest step! You can do ANYTHING!! GOOD LUCK!
2007-10-17 07:30:44 · answer #3 · answered by Sunshinegal 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no i do not think it is wrong at all. however, you do need to file for a divorce before falling in love with someone else. it's great to have the support but make sure this is not a rebound relationship. i was married to my husband for 3 years. we seperated in feb and i filed for divorce in june. i took some time for mysef and then i met a guy i truly like. we started talking in april and it didn't get serious until 2 months later when i decided i did not want to be with my husband anymore. i hope you don't go back to your beating husband because many women do it. make sure this guy really cares for you and not using you because of vulnability.
2007-10-17 07:32:44 · answer #4 · answered by Virgo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless that your husband is a loser for assaulting you... you are cheating. You are having an affair. You are a married woman with another man. It is as simple as that!
Are you planning on a divorce? If so, what are you waiting for?
2 weeks? That's all it took for you to replace your man? Maybe check into working on some insecurity issues. Got a problem with being on your own to at least sort through what you are going to do next?
2007-10-17 07:36:24 · answer #5 · answered by peggy m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're on the rebound. This guy could be just as bad as your husband. Right now you need to be focusing on you and dealing with what has happened. The last thing you need is to get into another relationship while you have a husband in jail.
2007-10-17 07:33:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally believe that it is healthy for the individual and the relationship if a person resolves one relationship before getting into another relationship.
It sounds like you are playing with fire..... your husband obviously has impulse control issues and you have chosen a route that could send him over the top.
Also, your new relationship has about a chance in hell of every being healthy when it began under such arduous circumstances.
2007-10-17 07:29:52 · answer #7 · answered by Bentley 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sheesh girl you are moving from a frying pan into a FIRE!
Find some SELF love and STOP trying to define yourself by being with men that treat you like dirt! I have a feeling your husband was "sweet and caring" before he starting hitting you.
Oh and ps you have cheated on your husband, is that the kind of life you want to live?
2007-10-17 07:26:58 · answer #8 · answered by kittykatsback 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Well my first thought is "Why is the guy in jail still your husband?" I rarely advocate divorce, but in abuse situations I believe you should definitely get out!! It seems like your marriage was already in trouble before you were "with" the new guy.
2007-10-17 07:30:14 · answer #9 · answered by Alli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you are not falling on someones shoulder for comfort...all guys are nice a first..this you should know..and what for...? think...wait maybe a lilttle jail time will help your husband....and this other guy..is he a friend of both of you..if he is.....that is no friend.....look deep into your heart..make sure about your decision because they last a lifetime.
2007-10-17 07:36:22 · answer #10 · answered by aljr238@verizon.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋