I'm 34, divorced living with my fiancee and my five year old son who has autism. We struggle financially since I am a full-time chemistry major in college and my son can't be placed in a school because he is too aggressive so one of us always has to be home with him plus he has 20+ hours of therapy every week we have to take him to. I was a straight A student until my son got older and his problems became overwhelming. Now I barely am passing. I am over $100,000 in debt with college loans. Should I bail out of my chem degree which will take me years to finish or just try to muddle through? I can graduate next semester with an English degree. Help. I'm drowning.
2007-10-17 06:40:15 · 12 answers · asked by Democrat for McCain 4 in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
Prior to having my son, I worked for 10 years as a regional director caring for disabled children. I left to finish college because I was burned out! The reason I'm doing so poorly in school now is because I do devote almost all of my time to my son and I miss a lot of class. My son's biological father refuses to help at all and is on disability so he doesn't pay child support. My fiancee is a godsend.
2007-10-17 07:00:07 · update #1
My thoughts are with you! I can't imagine how difficult it may be! Hang in there, hon!
My advice is to graduate with an English degree next semester, get a job and work on the loans looming over you. (I'm in the same boat, I'll have at least $100k in student loans after graduate school. I just have to take it as a learning experience, I love learning and if it costs this much to want to get a good education, so be it.)
Consolidate those loans, and work on paying them back depending on where you live you may be able to substitute teach at local schools or possibly even at a local college for night classes. Work on those loans, even if you can work part-time and pay $200 a month. If you have a difficult time paying for them, discuss it with the loan provider and explain your situation, they may be able to help you out paying off the interest first or something.
Once things start to settle with your first priority, your son, you could always go to graduate school and get a graduate degree in chemical engineering or chemical technology or chemical education.
I really commend you for going to school later in life, it takes a lot of work and you will be thankful that you've gotten a college degree.
Good Luck, you are in my thoughts! =D
2007-10-17 07:26:30 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitly try to finish school as soon as you can. You need to start earning income so you don't have extra stress. I know you don't want to sell yourself short because you love science but it's not worth it for five more yrs of school. You are already 34, if you work for twenty yrs or so will it have been worth paying of your debt with the amount of income you will have made in that time, and will you have as much as you would like for your retirement. Also If you finish sooner, you can spend more quality time with your son, and when you do that I'm almost a hundred% sure you will start to see an improvement in his behavior. I think you knew the logical answer to this question you just need some assurance. The funny thing is I can relate to alot of this, and I am now a business major, instead of studying biology(my passion) so I can graduate sooner and spend quality time with my son, and support us without so much help from others.
2007-10-17 06:54:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get the degree!!!!!!! It will definitely help.
Can you take out more student loans than you need to help a little bit financially for now? Most loans are deferred till 6 months after you graduate. Also- if you want to prolong paying back, go part time after you get your English degree- they will still be deferred.
I have had to do that since I too am a single mom of two, going to school and working.
But honestly- having a degree, even in English, will open up more doors, than not having one.
Good Luck.
2007-10-17 06:45:27 · answer #3 · answered by kelmc623 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My honest opinion? If you can graduate next semester with an English major...do it.
You will have a degree and have more free time available for your son. I work with children who has autism and I know that this is a very difficult age group to deal with and as he gets older, while staying difficult things will get easier.
If you really have a strong passion for chemistry, when he gets older and your life settles down a bit go back and get your masters in chem. Many places will even pay of your student loans and pay for you to get your masters.
Unfortunately right now you should selflessly devote yourself to your son, so you are not worn so thin you cannot care for him or yourself.
Goodluck!
2007-10-17 06:45:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
go for the English degree, since it won't take as long. Then you can go back to work for a while and go back to chem in a few years. Is the English degree a full-time program? If not, maybe you can take it on an evening course program. Might take a bit longer, but it'll give you time to be with your son and maybe, possibly, to get a weekend job to help with the finances when your fiance's home to watch your boy.
As for your autistic son, maybe he needs to find an out-let for his energy and that's why he's aggressive. He just doesn't know how to cope.
If you ever need an outlet of your own, mail me - my friends say I'm a good listener.
2007-10-17 06:47:43 · answer #5 · answered by slashgirl_1984 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One of the hardest decisions in life seems to be that of dealing with a child's welfare. If you believe that your son may not be benefiting from the medical attention that he is now receiving, it may be beneficial to you, and your son to speak to a social worker about his placement into a home that provides treatment and care for such children. Yes, it is a hard decision but your life is also important. Remember, he may never get better than he is at the present time.
You may want to get some other outside information prior to making any life decisions though.
2007-10-17 07:04:55 · answer #6 · answered by Jim B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should graduate next semester with an English degree but remember after you stop going to school your loans will come due and you will have to make payments in about six months. (You can ask for a deferment if you have financial problems. ) Later you might consider graduate school.
2007-10-17 07:10:11 · answer #7 · answered by Bonnebelle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Graduate and leverage your degree into a good job. Get tutoring and behavior management classes for your son. You can continue your chemistry studies later.
Try to relax a little and enjoy the life you have. It sounds as if it is productive and rewarding, even though somewhat difficult.
2007-10-17 06:46:17 · answer #8 · answered by nora22000 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I am going to pray for you on this one. My best advise is to talk to your college counselor about it. If you really just want to graduated then do what you have to do. I understand your frustration cuz I went thru the whole ordeal. You're a strong one, just remember the silver lining at the end of the tunnel.. You've made it this far, you can still do it.. but also remember your son needs cuz you're already grown and lived your life.. He needs guidance for his life now.
2007-10-17 06:46:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if i was in your shoes, which im not, i would help my struggling son, my autistic son, i would let him know that i am by his side. my son means everything in the world to me. i wouldnt care about my chem major because i know i can finish it anytime but i cant ever have another son like this one. sure, you can have kids but it wont be special like the one you have right now. our babies are from us, we made them, THEY are our other half. i would never desert my son for anything, especially not college. he needs your help and he needs you by his side, and honestly i'd rather spend my money on my sons therapy then on college.
as for the debt... get a job and pay as much as you possibly can or take a bucket to your college and say its for a good cause for helping your son and it'll fill up in no time. good luck and i hope you make the right decision.
2007-10-17 06:53:48 · answer #10 · answered by I Dream of Best Answer 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋