I am 26 and my husband is 31. He goes out with his friends may be 3 times a month.they leave around 11.00 pm and do not come home before 4.00 am. Last night he asked me if he can come back the naxt day. I just did not know what to tell him. He is very undestanding he would not say no to me if i ask him that if i can stay out whole night with my girl friends.and evey time that is what he tell me to go out with my freinds but i am not from here i dont have many friends here. Do you think whatever he is doing is right? should i let him go for night out, Also if i tell him dont go. he doesnt go. he make sure that i am ok with him going out, I dont know how to handle this. do you think he should come home before 2.00. PLEase help
2007-10-17 06:11:20 · 17 answers · asked by julie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Its time for him to settle down and not party so hard.
2007-10-17 06:14:52 · answer #1 · answered by Steve C 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing inherently wrong with him spending time with friends or taking trips without you.
This real issue is, what is he doing on these nights out? Does he tell you or offer information? He just hanging out with guys and drinking beer, or is he going to strip joints and picking up hookers? Does he want to stay out all night so that he doesn't have to drive drunk, or because he's having an affair?
Of course, he could be doing all these things just as easily before 4am, 2am, or even 11pm, so the lateness of the hour isn't really an indication of worse behavior. The point is, it doesn't matter how late he's out; it matters what he's doing while he's out.
You know your husband, and you know whether you can trust him to behave. If you trust him, then let him go have his fun. It would be perfectly reasonable to ask that for every late "guy's night", he devote one "date night" to you the same week so you can spend quality time together. Also, on his "guy's night", sign up for a class at your local community center or college. It's a great way to meet people in a new town and develop yourself.
2007-10-17 13:21:31 · answer #2 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds a little odd. If my wife were going out with the girls, even though I trust her completely, I would wonder what she was up to. Now the truth is, I trust her completely and do not think that she would be doing anything bad, but there is always that glimmer of thought. ask your husband what they do. Where they are going. Look at the credit card statements and see what he charges, or where the ATM is being used. Now if the ATM is at Jezebel's house of vaseline, you know there is a problem, but if the ATM is at Guido's Casino, or Chucks Sports bar and Billiard, you are probably okay. He is your husband and you should trust him until he gives you a reason not to trust him.
The bottom line is open communication. Ask him what he is doing and where he is going. Do you know his friends? Are they single or married? Are they good guys or goodfellas?
You know your man better than we do. Good luck with it.
2007-10-17 13:19:01 · answer #3 · answered by BirdogsID 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has never given you a reason not to trust him, let him go. Maybe they have some specific plans to hang out afterwards, just ask him. If he's not partying like this everynight and he takes care of other obligations and you, he deserves a night out once in awhile. =)
2007-10-17 13:17:41 · answer #4 · answered by Vbonics 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours for life. If not, it never was.
A relationship is about trust. Do you trust him. If so, let him go, s long as he dont make it a habbit. Hopefully nothing will happen. If you dont trust him, or he has given you reason for you not to, then you need to talk to him about that and some how you need to work on it.
The two biggest things in a relationship are TRUST and COMMUNICATION. Heres your chance to work on both of them.
2007-10-17 13:19:04 · answer #5 · answered by okiemuskvet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be extremely uncomfortable if my man was going out a few times a week until 4 am, and wanting to not come home at all once. Do you even know where he is at these times?
2007-10-17 13:15:42 · answer #6 · answered by A***n G 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Uh, why does he feel the need to stay out until the next day? That is a little odd. Do you know where he is going? Bars ususally close at 3 a.m., if that is the case. I would be concerned about him cheating, unfortunatly.
2007-10-17 13:15:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it was me then i wouldn't like it, so i can see where you are coming from. At the same time though you said that he trusts you enough to let you stay out all night. Do you actually trust him?
2007-10-17 13:15:11 · answer #8 · answered by --Br0oklYn-- 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys are wierd.They need to hang out with other men from time to time.But he should always come home when he's done.He's a little to old for sleep overs.And yes,he should be home around 2:00 .It's only repecful for you.
2007-10-17 13:20:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
uhhmm this is tough... i think if you really love him and you both can trust each other not to do anything bad while your with your friends then you should let him go out for the night. If your really worried just ask his friends to watch him for you.
hope this helps.
2007-10-17 13:16:17 · answer #10 · answered by Jesse spo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds fishy to me. I would be pretty suspicious if my wife did not come home after a girls night out. i always offer to come pick her up and her friends if they don't have a DD.
2007-10-17 13:16:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋