I'm not a winer. I'm not a complainer. I'm not even a pessimist. But, lately I just feel like a downer. I feel as if I'm missing the fun in life. I feel anxious and shy. I feel like all of my confidence just disappeared. I transfered to this college in high spirits. My summer was great: old friends from high school and family: two things I love. But now, at my new college, I just feel alone and kind of sad. I've always been a shy person but lately, I feel like I've made no effort in meeting knew people or being social. I guess I don't have the confidence? Well, I'm just wondering if anyone else is feeling similar? Or, if anyone could offer some advice...to give me a better mind set, more confidence, or simply help me find the fun I experienced in life not too long ago.
2007-10-17 06:06:58 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm having the same problem. You just have to get used to it, it'll take a bit to get adjusted but don't worry :) it helps to share things like this to your family and friends.
2007-10-17 06:11:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. I suggest that you try to build up your confidence. You can do this in several ways:
1) You can show people the real you, bright and happy, people at your college may then make the effort to talk to you.
2) You can just introduce yourself to others and make NEW friends. (You know you need them to make you happy so just go for it)
3) At weekends and times you have off try to make arrangements with your other friends just so that you don't feel totally alone.
As your not a pessimist keep open minded. You WILL make friends soon. Stop worrying because it wont help.
- Try and work it out with other people your family and your friends they have all gone through the same sort of experience before and can give you a good insight on what to do.
- Set your self a goal that say by the beginning of November you will have made at least 2 new friends.
- At college try to get involved with other activites that go on. And make new friends doing something you enjoy.
- Dont forget to always enjoy life. This is just one of the things you have to go through. And we've all been there.
-Dont forget the people starting the college are going through exactly the same thing. And I know that it takes a few months before you start to settle in with everyone but it does happen eventually.
I hope this helped! If you still feel sort of alone please feel free to talk to me on vickyjh@btopenworld.com....your not totally alone.
Oh and don't forget. Always be yourself....and smile!!!!
2007-10-17 06:39:55 · answer #2 · answered by Vixz06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm feeling u... Just recently, within the past 3 or 4 months, everything started falling on me. I had planned a nice vacation, but ended up having to cancel because everything just seemed to fall apart, and just when I thought I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, things got screwed up again.. In addition to that, I ended a relationship a while back and was feeling great about things, but because of all the problems I've been facing these past months, I'm feeling low in that department too... Had my yearly evaluation at work, and even that went a bit bad although I strongly believe I worked my butt off this past year, and excelled a lot more than my colleagues... so yea, I feel u...
Advice? Dunno.. I guess just try to keep a positive mind. I know it's a tired advice, but try not to worry too much. As bad as things may seem, they could always get worse and there is always someone out there who is worse off and would love to have what we have. Worrying really does nothing.. I'm only starting to realize that now, after this "crisis" I've been on for the past few months. Just last winter I was over-worrying about petty things.. now that things are much worse, I'm trying to chill and do what I can, which is the only thing I can really do. Things will get better again and I'm sure as hell that they'll get also worse in the future..
2007-10-17 06:20:04 · answer #3 · answered by b.ella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are probably more than thousands of college kids feeling like you. I am a college kid too, I go to class and leave because I have a daughter and do not live on campus so I don't even have the chance to really have a "college life". It's pretty nerve wrecking sometimes to meet new people and friends, but it's funny at how everyone seems to exaggerate it! Don't worry about how to approach someone, how to get someone to talk to you, etc. Just be you!!! What you have to do is just work on your outlook on life right now and friends will come. Remember that everyone goes through this, but its all a matter of pushin that negativity to the side because it's all an illusion. No one really cares about anything you do thats embarrasing or humilating. No one cares if you aren't "cute". Just be you, put a smile on and see how many people smile back...ud be surprised
2007-10-17 06:12:33 · answer #4 · answered by melly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you ever go "I should really talk to her/him" and then not go through with it. I was sorta in your situation but then I realized that if you don't do what you want to do (IE Meet new people) then you are just gonna be hard on yourself. You have nothing to lose! Just remember that. That's the statement that helped me get out of my shell, but even I'm still working on it. Think of it like this...he/she isn't talking to me right now and probably doesn't know I exist. You start talking to him/her (ask the time, ask if you can sit down, ask if shes new, tell her that your new) and 90% of the time they'll give in and you'll be having a convo in no time. Therefore you GAINED something. Now the other 10% of the time, they might be stuck up *****s or snobs and in that case you lost nothing, am I right?
Hope this helped! Good luck
2007-10-17 06:12:30 · answer #5 · answered by Amir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change in not always a pleasant experience. Especially when it seems to hit strongly. But it should be exciting rather than debilitating.
Perhaps you need a break, or simply a friend that you can count on. Life can sometimes be overwhelming. Resolve only ONE issue at a time. Dont attempt to take on the whole world at once.
Take a deep breath....try to relax. Put things in perspective.
Take on ONLY what you feel you are able to resolve. Then move on to the next item of concern.
You are having a major life change. Communicate your issues. PLEASE dont try to hide any negative feelings you may be experiencing. Ask yourself, WHY, and what you're able to do to feel better. If you feel overwhelmed, PLEASE speak to a counselor who can help you sort it all out.
2007-10-17 06:18:59 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've undergone a big change in your life - so feeling anxious and unstable will be natural. Don't be too hard on yourself, just let yourself get out there! :)
Just remember when making friends, most people feel just as nervous as you - so making the first move isn't as terrible as it seems!
Just give yourself time to get used to your new surroundings. I'm sure you'll be feeling a lot more settled soon :)
2007-10-17 06:14:21 · answer #7 · answered by Becci 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude just get used to your surroundings just meet new people say hi or hello when I first went to college I was feeling the same but as soon as I started talking to these new people I started to get recognition because of my kindness towards them
and they started feeling comfortable around me and of course I felt the same around them
2007-10-17 06:16:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋