Help! I am an attractive 27 year old. My husband is 35. It seems I want to be intimate more than him. He turns me down ALOT. I feel like any other guy would love to have a wife like me. He is happy twice a week but I am not. I want sex every day. Am I being selfish? He claims he doesn't have a low sex drive. I am tired of getting rejected. It is effecting our relationship. When we do, it is great....but not often enough. Can any guys tell me why this could be? Is he too comfortable? I am 100% sure he is not cheating, and I know he loves me. What's up?
2007-10-17 06:00:26 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What great advice everyone, thank you :)
2007-10-17 06:12:28 · update #1
BTW, I am NOT a housewife. I am a full time student.
2007-10-17 06:32:48 · update #2
believe it or not but not all men want sex every day....and yes he very well could have a low sex drive and is just either not aware of it or is embarrassed...men start to lose their testosterone in their thirties and the effect of that is a lower sex drive.....also remember ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME don't lump them into one category...I'm sure he does love you very much you shouldn't base his love for you out of how much sex he has with you.....my husband and I have been married for 16yrs and sometimes I want it more than him and sometimes him more than me I don't keep track of how often or who initiates it more, I just enjoy and love the time we spend alone..wink wink (we also have 3 kids)...Good luck to you and remember its not about how much sex you have during the coarse of your marriage but the quality of the love you make with the one you love........Take Care
2007-10-17 06:21:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ha. I am just like you! Except my hubby's up for four times a week, sometimes five. But I told him... I'd like it once a day on the weekdays and twice a day on the weekends.
The reason, if the sex life takes a sudden dive, and goes down to say, three times a week, is because he's tired. He works all the time and goes to college full time and he hardly has any extra hours in the day. Really.
So I respect that as best I can. Sometimes I just ask him if he wants anything... so I come across as being considerate, and then it ends up paying off for me too. Win win situation.
He might just be tired. Rejection is not fun, I know...
maybe you guys need a weekend getaway! Try that.. and try other little things to add some spice, you know... some varations of the norm.
Good luck. And remember, you're not the only female feen! lol
2007-10-17 06:18:13 · answer #2 · answered by shellj_foxy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 27 years old as well and happy in a relationship. Let me tell you what my life is like in this regard.
My boyfriend is 30. We are both really busy with full time jobs and other activites. We only see each other probably half of the evenings of the week, and I have a child as well. We love to have good sex, but it just doesn't happen as often as our bodies would love for it too.
Is your personal and work schedule as busy as your husbands? If he is busier than you, chances are that he's really telling the truth, and he's tired! Maybe your sex drive would subside a little if you filled up more of your free time with something else physical, like working out or playing a sport. Even home renovation or cleaning.
If you are not interested in lowering your sex drive, maybe the time has come for you and your husband to seek some therapy for this situation. I know that most guys are not interested in having therapy for this kind of situation, but if it is threatening your marriage, chances are good that he will try anything you need to make it work. Do I think he has a low sex drive? Not at all. Everyone's need for sex varies. Yours is higher, and there are solutions for both of you that a doctor can help you with. Maybe more masterbation or something along that lines is an option for you as well. I know it's not the same, but if it helps save your marriage, it may be worth it!
Whatever the solution, I wish you good luck. I hope that it works out well for both you and your huband in the end.
2007-10-17 06:12:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grab a pen, here is my number....
J/K If you are a full time student then at 35, he probably has a lot on his mind. Energy level effects sex drive. I saw a british show on this once where just with vitamins and removing the ottoman and preventing someone putting their feet up when they get home, the couple started having more energy.
It is also a myth that men don't need any foreplay. Sometimes, they need some mental foreplay. Think outside the box on this one. Wear something v-neck and go braless and bend over in front of him a few times. Loose the undergarments when wearing a shorter skirt at home. Enjoy a Popsicle/ice-cream in his peripheral vision. Do some dusting while wearing a short skirt or tight pants. Leave some "mens" magazines about and pick one up and read it in front of him. Try on an outfit and come down and ask him if it is too revealing..."what about if I bent over?"
Get his energy level up and get his mind in the mood and you should at least double your current weekly number.
2007-10-17 07:09:32 · answer #4 · answered by GK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, call my wife and talk to her. I would definitely love to have that much frequency. That being said though, your husband may have some medical problems possibly that are effecting him. It could be something as simple as blood pressure, stress, or anything like that. It sounds like his equipment is still in working order at twice a week. Your age difference probably plays a role in it as well. You are reaching your sexual peak while he is well past his (or so medical doctors tell us). Talk to him and make sure that it has nothing to do with boredom in your sex life. I actually read a good article about this very subject recently by Tracey Cox (ivillage.com I think). Look that up and see if it helps. Good luck. You can reach my wife @ 270.......
2007-10-17 06:10:10 · answer #5 · answered by No one 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are about the 10,000th woman that is writing about this same subject on yahoo answers.I have never heard about this before I came here.I have never turned any woman down that I was in a relationship with,even if I was to tired I always made sure she was happy.It's always easy to use toys or do oral on a woman if I was to tired or let her get on top,but before I was hurt I worked 12 to 14 hours a day 6 or 7 days a week and have NEVER been to tired for sex and I am 54 years old.Try meeting him nude at the door when he comes home from work.Shave your pubic area,that will make it look new.Wake him up in the morning with a BJ and when it is up,jump on.There are lots of ways if you love each other.Have fun,play nice.Good luck.
2007-10-17 06:13:15 · answer #6 · answered by notagain49 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
matching sex drives is not easy. Some men want more, some women want more but mostly they are not the ones married to each other. He is a little older and hence a lowering of sex drive. Yours, on the other hand, is just cranking up for another 15 years. Anything you do too much becomes routine so try to make the ones you do have memorable. Twice a week isn't all that bad for a married couple of your age. Keep talking to him but you may have to scale your expectations down. You may have to please yourself. I wouldn't recommend an affair.
2007-10-17 06:13:08 · answer #7 · answered by shyguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if he was 16 that would be normal. Most people wise up and dump the pot after 20 or so. Porn is so easily available now that a lot of people have a look occasionally. Daily is not normal, however, and you seem to have a problem "child" on your hands. Take care.
2016-05-23 04:18:32 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women hit their sexual peak at around 30, so maybe yours has kicked in already.
Men hit their sexual peak around 20.
Mother nature has not been kind to us women in this way.
You need to keep the lines of communication open with him about this. Maybe he is frustrated about some need not being met for him and he's afraid to tell you.
I hope you can iron this out for the sake of your relationship. The feeling of rejection you are experiencing can really be detrimental to the relationship too.
2007-10-17 06:07:27 · answer #9 · answered by BigTip$ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm younger than my husband with 15 years. He wants sex like once a month. I want once a week. Well...the other 3 times he tries to please me different ways or by taking a pill, but he does it!
But I think you overreact with everyday. Maybe you should get a job or find some other stuffs to do together other than sex.
Good luck!
2007-10-17 06:26:42 · answer #10 · answered by LMH 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋