Why do women always think that TALKING is the answer?

Question

Ladies let's be honest. How many times has your husband taken you out to dinner thinking he might get some sex afterwards? How many times has he bought you jewelry? Taken you on a nice trip? Bought you some nice clothes? Bought you a fancy car? How often do you use sex as an incentive, many times without evening realizing it, to get the things you want, go to the places you want to go, and do the things you want to do?

Why then would you think that talking, bytching, and complaining is going to get your husband to stop playing video games? Looking at porn? Going to strip clubs with friends you don't approve of? Or cutting back on his drinking? If the promise of sex works when you want to go to dinner, go to a movie, go on a trip, get some new earrings, or buy some fancy clothes, then why not use sex as an incentive for getting him to behave the way you want him to behave?

Answer 1

Not to sound like a preacher or anything...but it does say in the bible "do not deprive your husband of sex". It says it for a reason. I've had to understand that. They will behave if they r getting some. or a lot..lol. but it's their nature. he will always come back to what feels good. Especially if he knows what he already has....I think that makes sense....but i totally know what u mean.

Answer 2

I join in all the fun with him .. he takes ME to the strip clubs .. we play video games together ... I've never had to use sex as an incentive - that's just the bonus fun at the end of the night ... although I have used the BJ while he's driving to get him to go where I wanted - but he would have gone without the BJ ... lol ... it's hard to act that way - and you feel ( at least I do ) manipulative treating the man you love that way - shoot if I used sex for everything - I would have had a boob job a long time ago, a convertible sports car and a house on the beach ... but I'm not a prostitute ... thanks for the advise - I might just try it out for that new lift I wanted on my truck - oh yeah I better strip for him too so I get the rims and tires that match ... lol ... !

Answer 3

To get him to behave the way you want him to?????? What, is he a dog? I don't know about you, but my man never does nice things for me because he thinks he's going to get sex ( NEWS FLASH I'M NOT A HOOKER THINGS & MONEY DO NOT EQUAL SEX). He does nice things for me because he loves and appreciates me. My man is not playing video games? Looking at porn? Going to strip clubs with friends you don't approve of? Or cutting back on his drinking? and if you or your man is then that's the issue right there. If he cared about your feelings and valued your relationship he wouldn't do these types of things. Sex is not a reward or a weapon, it's an intimacy shared by a man and woman, pereferably a husband and a wife. Personally I wouldn't want to be intimate with some guy who was out drinking and hanging out at strip bars. If you had honest communication talking would be the answer. And you are saddly mistaken about how an adult relationship works.

Answer 4

Quit thinking with your dick. Women do NOT always use sex as an incentive. Why don't you actually try talking, because it's the ONLY way that a husband and wife will actually know what each other is thinking, instead of guessing. If couples talked with each other more and let them know what's on their mind's we wouldn't have these problems.

And why should a woman have to bribe her man by giving him sex. Sex should be a product of love in a marriage, NEVER a bargaining tool, or an incentive.

If you use sex as an incentive to do something, there NO love there in it.

Answer 5

I don't know any woman who can be emotionally distraught about an issue and then just 'jump on that pogo stick' anyways.

Your first paragraph involves the man being kind, loving, affectionate, etc. Naturally, in this scenario a woman feels more comfortable giving herself to him b/c, no matter which way you look at it, having sex for a woman IS an emotional experience. If she feels good, the sex is good. If a man does NOT acknowledge and/or respect a womans emotional needs THERE WILL BE NO SEX. It is as simple as that.

What you are asking for here is equivalent to expecting respect from co-workers when you do 1/3 of the work that they do. Both parties have to be on a mutual emotional level for the woman to enjoy and want sex. And being equal isn't so bad now is it???

Answer 6

Using sex as an incentive will only fix the issue part time. Communication improves a relationship and will give your partner a better understanding on what's going through your mind. Have to compromise, don't ***** and be annoying that only makes matter worse. Some act like grown women some are still girls, not everyone is the same.

Answer 7

I know more divorces caused by using sex as in incentive (by men and women alike). If you're in a solid relationship then talking (not complaining, moaning and groaning but honest communication!) is the answer. If not, there's not much you can do if you both don't have the same goals in life.

Answer 8

We really don't think about sex as a weapon at all times. We actually think that maybe you're taking us out to a nice restaurant because you enjoy spending time with us. We think that the jewelry is because you love us and think we're beautiful. Personally I don't use sex as a weapon, though a lot of women do. I don't have sex with my husband just because he takes me out for a steak either. I have sex with my husband because I love him and am in the mood. Whenever, no special occasions required.

Communicating with each other is what makes our relationship healthy. If I don't want my husband to play video games I can feel comfortable enough to tell him so. And if he wants to play video games he can feel comfortable enough to tell me so. Relationships are all about communication and compromise. You can't let your woman walk all over you because she holds sex over your head. But she won't realize how hard you have it if you don't speak up and tell her. She may not mind you playing video games from time to time, just not constantly... and that's because she wants to spend time with you and she's jealous that you'd rather spend time playing games. But... if you talked about that... then you'd know how she really felt about it. And she'd know how you really felt about it and you could reach a middle ground.

Answer 9

Conditioning. That IS how you TRAIN any animal.

I was sort of under the impression that my husband was of the human species capable of communication and rational decision making with an underlying ability to develop morals, responsibility, respect... that kind of thing.

Thanks for clearing it up. Next time I won't talk, I'll just grab for the rolled up newspaper!

Answer 10

I never use sex as a weapon, and if something bothers me I say so. If two people can't come to an agreement then the marriage isn't worth two grains of salt if weapons are being used. I don't believe in playing games.