I had a suspicion my hubby was cheating so I got into his yahoo email. Well there were several dating site emails and porn links. I got into one of them and he had written that he was married looking for a discreet encounter. He signed up for it when I was out of town with friends. I approached him about it, he said he doesnt remember doing that. There were also pictures of some half naked girl saved into his email. He claimed that someone must have sent them and he didnt delete them, but they were in a separate folder marked "Pics" What the hell should I do? Ive logged into his messenger as him and No one has messeged? I dont know whats up?
2007-10-17 05:18:21 · 40 answers · asked by ~The doctors Wife~ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have no problem with him watching porn or looking at it online its a whole different story trying to meet real people. Oh and did I mention I had a friend of mine set him up online she pretended to be someone else and his dumb *** fell for it. He was gonna go meet her until I busted him on it. In that case I knew it was my friend so I didnt freak but at the same time how do I know he isnt gonna do it again...he swares he wont...but how do I know that. My concern right now is more my child than his stupid ***.
2007-10-17 15:26:52 · update #1
I have no problem with him watching porn or looking at it online its a whole different story trying to meet real people. Oh and did I mention I had a friend of mine set him up online she pretended to be someone else and his dumb *** fell for it. He was gonna go meet her until I busted him on it. In that case I knew it was my friend so I didnt freak but at the same time how do I know he isnt gonna do it again...he swares he wont...but how do I know that. My concern right now is more my child than his stupid ***.
2007-10-17 15:27:02 · update #2
He doesn't remember doing that? That's a pretty sorry excuse... of course he did it, no one else could have. And yes, if the pictures were saved in a folder titled "pics" then he put them there. If he isn't going to be honest with you about this, he won't be honest about anything. Sorry.
2007-10-17 05:28:26 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have never been in this situation... but one of my friends was. She has since then left her hubby and met someone deserving of her. That said... you have a choice to make. You have to decide HOW much this bothers you and IF you should trust your husband!!
He is either... trying to have an affair, has had an affair, or he thinks it is OKAY to do what he is doing and you don't seem to be that bothered so he thinks you are condoning it!! And if you are searching his email then you obviously KNOW something is going on or else you wouldn't be snooping.
You have to make the call as to whether or not this bothers you enough to do something about it... or just stay and live with it. I would suggest marital counseling at the very least. He has some kind of a sex issue... or needs more attention... or he is hoping you will dump him so he can get some more loving somewhere else. Whatever the case... you need to NOT make threats... decide what you are going to do and what you will put up with and do it!!
Good luck, I really wouldn't want to be walking in your shoes. If it were me I would get rid of internet at my house, delete all of his email accounts, and throw the computer in the bathtub and tell him not to log on and to start talking right now... but that is just me.
2007-10-17 05:29:32 · answer #2 · answered by crissygirly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel very sad for you that your suspicions turned out to be correct. I wouldn't let him get away with denying it. You obviously have a problem in your marriage and you need to talk about it. Nothing may have come out of his linking into dating services. Looking at half naked women or porno is not a big deal in my opinion. Don't know how you feel, but he may like that. Linking onto dating sites and searching for something discreet crosses the line. When you are both in a place to talk calmly and rationally, I would discuss what he feels he is missing in his life that he needs to search these sites. Often times there's a deep disconnect between the two of you and no communication. good luck
2007-10-17 05:25:31 · answer #3 · answered by fran 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
he may not be cheating yet but must be thinking about it. The two of you have to start doing more things together - take him with you perhaps the next time you are out of town with friends. I don't think it would be possible to sign up for a discreet encounter and not remember it but he may and probably does have a different name on messenger so you didn't get messages. Perhaps you need to have a talk between the two of you and decide how you are going to make your marriage better or it may not make it.
2007-10-17 05:31:08 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Heh, heh...boy lady...he sucks at lying. Doesn't remember setting up a profile on a dating site huh? So something that requires you to fill in the blanks and create a profile just 'slips his mind'. "I don't remember doing that" doesn't translate to "I didn't do that" does it? So..there's your first admisiion of guilt there. The old "Maybe I did...maybe I didn't". And the picture of the half naked broad? In a seperate folder marked "Pics". Check the properties...see when the folder was created.
Man...what a lousy liar. You've caught him cold with the goods in hand. Time to make him squirm.
2007-10-17 05:38:11 · answer #5 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've busted him and he's lying to cover his a s s. If you are interested in saving your marriage than you need to take some time to calm down. Then approach him again and find out what would drive him to cheat on you in the first place. He has to be unhappy and there must be some things that you're unhappy about. Talk about them calmly and figure out together whether you want to continue this marriage or get out. If you want to keep going and work through this than you need to go to marriage counseling.
2007-10-17 05:22:59 · answer #6 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is looking for someone on the side, and still wants you around. If he put those pictures in a special folder he knows where they came from and who they are. He might not have cheated on you, but he is looking for someone to cheat with. He needs to step up to the plate and tell you the truth, because he knows he's been caught.
2007-10-17 05:24:07 · answer #7 · answered by Tommy's_Sweet_Girl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Two words. He's LYING. (Been through that path, done that.)
You cannot believe him, seriously, when he says, "I don't know why that's there" or "I don't remember".
Bottom line....if this is a deal breaker for you, you have to let him know you will not stand for it. If he then does it again, and you don't want him doing it, you have to stick to your guns, and leave the situation.
I know how hurtful this situation is. I really feel for you.
But let me give you a shortcut. Save you some time.
No matter how much crying you do...
no matter how much disbelief you feel that someone that truly loves you could do this and betray you when YOU haven't,
no matter how much you DON'T want it to be true,
and want to believe in him....if he won't even own up to the crap he's doing when you bust him red-handed....
then you cannot trust a word he says.
I'm sorry you have to go through this.
2007-10-17 05:54:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men...well he's obviously thinking about it whether he's acted on it remains to be found out. You can keep asking him but you're never going to get the answer you want to hear. So you're going to have to decide if you want to stick around and find out more or go with your gut instincts and leave him. Yeah I know easier said than done, my take there is more to come. Since you had a suspicion, what did you plan to do if it was confirmed?
2007-10-17 05:25:23 · answer #9 · answered by ms_sokin 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well my husbadn watchs porn almost all the time I think taht is just normal for men. And the dating sight I have seen them to don't worry about to much unless you see somethign strange like coming home late cloths and I mean you have already confronted him and he told you what is going on why don;t you beleive him? Ask your self that question? Is he a player? The dating site sometime are pop up sights you sign up for one thing and then they send you information and who is avaliable. Check is credit card then you will see if he paid for the sight and if he did then he is looking for something and then ask the question you don;t remember but you paid for the sight.
2007-10-17 05:48:39 · answer #10 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋