My annoying, obnoxious and controlling ex came into my work to pretty much threaten me. He didn't like the sarcastic message I left on his cell phone. I didn't yell or swear in the message, just thanked him for not calling me regarding one of our kids. He told me never to leave him a message like that again and he doesn't have to call me if he doesn't want to. We have 50/50 custody and I think we should communicate regarding our children. He thinks the kids should have to tell me things instead of him. How immature is that! His attitude and personality is a big reason he is an EX!! Should I just ignore it or let my lawyer know?
2007-10-17 04:35:52 · 15 answers · asked by mommacat 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By 50/50, I'm assuming that you mean joint custody. Joint custody means that both parents share the responsibility of raising the children equally, although one parent will have residential or physical custody and the other parent will have visitation. Joint custody also means that the parents are to share equally any information that relates to the children's health, well-being, religious well-being, education, etc. In simple terms: if it relates to your kids, you have to share it with the other parent.
Before you call a lawyer, make damned sure your own stuff is in line. Joint custody means both parents share equally. Are you sharing equally, or are you just pi$$ed because he isn't? When you do have a conversation with your ex-spouse about a child-related issue, make damned sure you aren't leaving crappy little messages on his voice mail. Nothing looks worse in front of the judge than proof you're acting like a bigger @$$ than he is.
Then, start keeping notes in a date-book or a journal. Every time you have a conversation with your ex-spouse about the children document the date, time, place and content of the conversation. If you write him a note or a letter, keep a copy and/or send it certified mail -- note on your copy the date and time you sent the message. Every time he doesn't inform you about a situation with your children, make a note of the date, time, and context of the situation as well as how you found out about it -- the teacher, the child, a friend or whatever.
The only way you are going to convince a lawyer to handle a change of custody case is with documented proof that the other parent isn't fit to parent your children, and that you are a better choice. The better choice doesn't stoop to crappy little messages on voice mail, or crappy little remarks passed through the kids. You have to do everything better than he does, or you won't see Court time.
2007-10-17 04:57:03 · answer #1 · answered by kc_warpaint 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Contact your lawyer. You need to communicate with him rather than putting the burden on the children to relay messages, and HE needs to understand that. Coming to where you work can be a form of harassment. Sounds like it is a good thing he is an ex.
2007-10-17 04:44:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ask your lawyer's advise on how to react to the situation. You could take out a TRO on him but that could make it even worse. Maybe you could call him and apologize for being rude on the message- explain that you were upset and you should have calmed down before calling. Kill him with kindness and be the bigger person. If, however, it is going to interfere with your career I would take a closer look at what your legal options are- you wouldn't want to jeopardize your employment over an ex.
2007-10-17 04:47:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
that is style of like human beings leaping out at you once you get a marvel social gathering, they are hiding till you walk in and then they marvel you... except in an ambush they try to shoot you.
2016-10-21 07:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell you lawyer. the kids should not be go between and it's wrong for him to do that!
It should be stated in your papers that you two do not communicate through your children. It's important for them that you have a healthy relationship...hope it gets better!!
2007-10-17 04:40:19 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Jack Sparrow ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he is not going to answer calls or doesnt want to speak to you regarding the kids. Can you speak to a neutral person? Is email a possibility. If he is not going to answer the calls and show up at your job to threaten...you..CLEARLY, something else has to be done. Also, if he wants to be a brat about it DONT tell him anything and let him find out what he needs to know on his own...see how he likes that!!
2007-10-17 04:54:15 · answer #6 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
he's the ex, why does he think he won't get sarcastic messages. he should realize that its just part of the territory. he should aslo have a open communications with u because of the children. i'd say let him have it, call ur atty. and tell him ur tired of this crap.
2007-10-17 05:25:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Stop leaving sarcastic remarks on his cellphone. You think one way, he thinks another, if you want to know what is going on in HIS home when the children are with him consult as YOUR lawyer to speak with HIS lawyer. And he is right...he doesn't HAVE to call you if he doesn't want to.
2007-10-17 04:52:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Tell the lawyer. By itself, it's not much, but when all the incidents are added up, a judge may rule more favorably towards you.
2007-10-17 05:10:51 · answer #9 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Just ignore him for now but if he continues have your lawyer show him what for.
2007-10-17 04:40:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋