lost baby at 32 weeks?

Question

i was 32 wks pregnant, started having abdo pains went to hospital admitted for a few days, went back home pain came back, rushed to hospital, baby dead, had to have an emmergency ceaserean section, still can't get overthe loss, any suggestions?

Answer 1

hun im so sorry its really hard to get over loosing your child i know excatly what your going through, i lost my daughter on the 4th july 2006 i was 37 weeks and 6 days, I suggest that you speak to people online who have been through the same thing, that way they know excatly the feelings and thoughts you are going through as much as your family and friends can support you they really don't have any idea unless they have been through it. Here are a few links of forums, also speak to where you have ur bubba coz they will have local support groups to go to aswell. You are always welcome to speak to me aswell, i know how you are feeling so feel free to email me or im on myspace, [e-mail], http://www.myspace.com/dreamer_86 . also make things for your baby so you have memories, i've planted a flower for her made a photo frame with her picture and her hospital tag, get ur baby's birth cert if you are able to get on framed, buy something special like a box and put things in there to remeber the baby a few items of clothing that ment something to you, have a little area in your house on a table or something with photos and flowers and cards you have recieved, burn your own cd i did this you should download the song by karen taylor good called precious child it is a beautilful song and is great to listen to in a time like this. Take care xox

with hopes and dreams we felt your kicks
A life so preious born so still
An angel opened the book of life
and wrote down your birth.
Then she whispered as she closed the book
"too beautiful for earth".

Answer 2

I would first of all get some counseling. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you are going through. Have you had a funeral for your precious baby? That may help give you closure. If you have other children, make sure you spend a lot of time with them so you don't dwell on the loss. If you don't have others, there WILL be one for you someday. Whether it be adoption or a natural child, you can and will be a great mother. Please get some counseling. I had a miscarriage, but that was very early in the pregnancy and I had a horrible time getting over it, still have some thoughts, so I can only somewhat feel what your feeling. I never got to see my baby, which maybe makes it better. I just said a prayer for you. I don't know if your religious or not, but turn to God right now. I know you may be angry with him, but I'm hoping God will give you some solace. I'm so sorry and am actually crying right now for you.

Ivillage has some really great messageboards. I found one for you for infant loss

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppinfantloss

It helps to know you aren't alone and there are others who are going / have gone through the same thing.

Again I'm so sorry and will continue to pray for you.

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Answer 3

I am so truly sorry for this loss, I cannot imagine what you are going through. I lost a baby at 8 weeks five months ago. I am now four months pregnant and I worry every day. The only way I got through my loss was by talking about it, writing down how I felt, crying when I needed to cry and doing my best to not bottle my emotions up.
Just go with the grieveing process and when you feel ready try again, it will happen one day. You have my sincerest condolences xx.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry to hear about this, you must be feeling absolutely awful. I went through a similar thing a few years ago, I was 5 and a half months pregnant and walked in on my partner in bed with someone else, tried to leave and ended up getting pushed down the stairs, injuring me and killing his baby :o( It was the most awful experience ever, and I don't think we will ever truly get over it. I didn't really talk to anyone about it as I found it too hard, but I suggest that you do - it's not a good idea to keep it all bottled up. I gave my baby a name, and wrote him a letter telling him how sorry I was about what had happened and how much I loved him - silly I know, as he would never get to read it, but it helped me sort things through in my own head. Maybe you could try these, and organise a funeral to give you some kind of closure so that you can start to move on. My thoughts are with you xx

Answer 5

First of all can i say how sorry i am for your loss. This page may offer some tips on coping http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm
My daughter lost her baby at 6 months pregnant, just one day too early to have a funeral at the time. She didn't even know she could ask for a photograph, they let her hold her son for a short while and then took him away. To this day she doesn't know where they put him. She has never got over it and he would be 17 now if he had lived. She gets very deperessed when it would have been his birthday and i try to help her through it best i can. She was most upset at first that no one would talk about him, she said it was like he never existed and he did. So i can imagine what you are going through. Don't close any talk of him out. If people appear uncomfortable, tell them that you want to talk about your baby, it will break the ice and people won't find it quite as hard to comfort you. People will say you will get over it in time, but you won't, they will tell you that one day you will understand why it happened, again you won't, it will ease but you will never forget your child and no one should expect you to. When you are alone at night, talk to your baby, say how much you wanted him to be with you, what your plans were. believe me it will help you get through this, make it a special private time for yourself, but don't lock yourself away. Most of all cry as much as you want to, to help the greiving process. Also, try to think of it this way, your baby is just in God's nursery, being looked after. Good luck, you WILL manage to get through this, although it may not seem like it now.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry for your loss sugar, ask the hospital for the number of an organisation that supports grieving parents after miscarriage. it doesn't matter how long ago it happened, they will still be able to offer some support.
the same thing happened to my Friend but at 27 weeks. she and her partner planted a tree and said a formal goodbye to their baby as they chose not to have a funeral. they also gave him a name which also helped them.
you will learn to live with this loss and the hurt will get less given time. one day you will feel able to make plans for your future
good luck and best wishesx

Answer 7

So sorry for your loss. I have a friend who just lost her baby though not so late in the pregnancy. She said she did this thing she saw on a television series and as wacky as it sounds it worked for her. Here is what she did:
She bought a helium balloon from a store, a pink one as she knew she was having a girl. She went alone to a park and stood in the middle of the field holding the balloon. She thought about the baby and what it meant to her. All her hopes and all her dreams. She cried for her baby and for her loss. After a while she verbally said to god " I forgive you for taking her away, please keep her safe until I can be with her in heaven." She then let the balloon go and said her goodbyes to her baby. As the balloon floated upward she said she felt a calmness come over her. Now she is trying to conceive again.

Answer 8

I am really sorry for your loss, i am 32 weeks pregnant and understand how difficult it must be for you. the baby is fully developed at this stage, i wonder why the docs couldnt save him. You know what I lost my earlier baby after 39 weeks, can u imagine how painful it must be..losing a full term baby. She too had to be delivered by emergency c-section. But God has been great. I was pregnant but after 9 months...I will pray to God to give you strenghth...and make you pregnant soon

Answer 9

Oh sweetie, I'm sorry to hear that. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks I can't even see how you can deal with this but I will tell you that it's been 6 years for me and I still get sad about it. I don't really cry anymore because I realized that things happen for a reason even if I don't agree or don't know what that reason is.

You can try to go to a counselor
Church group

Or e-mail me [e-mail]

Answer 10

awww **hugs** I'm sooo sorry for your loss! I can't imagine your pain from losing your baby! Time heals all pain, counseling and support groups you will find more strength from being around people who share the same grief! Take care!!!
Here's a poem that a friend of mine had on her page maybe this will help comfort you:
What Makes A Mother

I thought of you, I closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a mother,
And I know I heard Him say


A mother has a baby
This we know is true
But God can you be a mother
When your baby's not with you?


Yes you can, He replied,
With confidence in His voice,
I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.


Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.


I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.

I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say,


We go to earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here!


I feel so lucky to have a mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quick,
My mommy set me free.


I miss my mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.


I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear,
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here.

So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are ok.
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.


They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lesson is through,
And on that day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you

Author Unknown