What do I need to do to legally have full costody of my daughter and her father have none?

Question

I am a single mother of a 4 year old daughter who has a deadbeat for a father. He's left her life and has never looked back when she was only 1 1/2...well, unless I force him to see her. Anyway my fear lately is if something happens to me I don't want her to go to him. I'm looking into writing a will and listing gaurdians for her, but even the lawyer told me that doesn't always guarantee anything. How do I go about legally getting full costody of her and having his rights to her gone? His name is on the birth certificate and I do have a child support order on him but he ignores it. At this point I realize I'll probably never see a dime and I'm okay with that...I just want my little girl safe. He's in and out of jail, bounces from place to place and can never hold a job. Please help!

To the individuals comments who act like I'm evil for doing this or that he has the same rights I do, bla bla bla. I have never kept her from him. The fact is he doesn't care about his daughter never tries to see her without my pressuring him, that's the evil; my daughter has a dad who doesn't care about her.

As far us both being parents I, would have to dissagree. He is a sperm doner in my opinion. It takes more to being a parent than just making a baby, sorry. You have to care, support, see your child, raise your chilld, do SOMETHING with or for your child. Anyone can make a baby, but it takes a true parent to take that responsibilty, embrace it and carry it through ;)

Answer 1

Ask him to sign the legal documents terminating his parental rights in exchange for not having to pay future child support.

See a better lawyer than the one you talked to already to help you with this.

EDIT for Hexeli: Not only has California allowed the voluntary termination of rights, it has allowed parents to petition for the involuntary termination of a parent's rights by the custodial parent. Been there, done that.

Answer 2

YOu have several issues, none of them you seem to understand.

First, because you have a support order, the child DOES have a legal father who has all the same rights as you do.

Second, a will disposing of a child is invalid on its face. You cannot dispose of a child through instrument but only through order of the court. Therefore, what you intend to put in your will is worthless.

Third, unless you have joint custody as decided in the same proceedings as the support order, the court has already decided on the custody of the child. You would be required to file a motion to modify with an attendent Termination of Parental Rights and prove to the court that the father does not deserve his rights.

By the way, if and when you do that, you also stop having the right to support.

So, let's sum up . Unless you can prove to the court that the father of the child is a danger to his own child or has violated the law in such a way that the court may grant your petition to terminate his rights, you have nothing.

And I'll ask you the same thing I ask my own clients. If he was good enough for you to have sex with, why is he not good enough to father his own child? Remember, the MOTHER of the child was also there making her. Does that mean she's also not good enough to mother the child?

TO THOSE WHO SUGGESTED she have him sign away his rights: NO state will allow a parent to unilaterally terminate his/her rights to a child without a third party qualified to adopt or take legal responsibility. In such cases where there is no one to adopt, the TPR action must be initiated either by the state or the court for the child.

TO THE POSTER:

I suggest you ask how many of the respondents are attorneys licensed to practice family law in this country and in the European Union.

I didn't respond to you to hear myself type.

Answer 3

You can always go to court and do a custody hearing. If the deadbeat father doesn't show, in most states, you'd get full custody automatically until he decided to pursue it again. If he is willing to sign away his parental rights though, that would definitely be easier and less expensive then a court hearing. Good luck!

Answer 4

She's not evil. You are an idiot for not realizing that having a harmful (emotionally, in this case) father who is a criminal, does not support her OR even himself is detrimental to this child. Are you kidding me?

I wish the OP the utmost of luck in getting full custody if that is the true case. A little girl's well-being depends on it.

Answer 5

Talk to that lawyer of yours about what is required to terminate parental rights. If the father is willing to sign away his rights that might help again depending on the laws in your state.

Answer 6

he isn't evil, you are! your child has only 2 parents good or bad and you want to take her dad away forever. Get a life