Months after the guy who abused me, swore at me, cheated on me with his boss texted message my cell phone asking if I am around and he wants to say hello and see me. I did not reply yet but in this case what would you do? Reply or not reply at all? Or something else? What could he want?
2007-10-17 04:01:01 · 80 answers · asked by bubi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
do not even think of responding to this fool once an abuser always one you have your own life now leave it that way~~~~~~
2007-10-17 04:04:33 · answer #1 · answered by ladysosureone 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't Reply.. If He Abused You Once He Can Do It Again. And Change Your Number Or W/e He's Contacting You With.
I Know Some People Would Say 'But He's Changed!'
He Hasn't..
An Abuser Once Always An Abuser [My Way Of Thinking]
2007-10-17 04:04:56 · answer #2 · answered by Bubblegum_Faeire 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ignore him and if he persists in contacting you, get a restraining order to keep him away. He is counting upon the fact that so many women go back with an abuser time after time - the fact you wonder what he wants and ask us what to do shows that you are at least tempted. Get on with your life, build up your self esteem to where you will no longer be thinking at all about even talking to a person who abused you, and find the right person for you somewhere else.
2007-10-17 04:08:32 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Do you want to be a victim forever? You said "I did not reply yet." It sounds as if you would actually consider seeing him. Why? Are you a glutton for punishment? If not, then tell him that you have moved on and you don't want to see him. If you have reason to think he would do you physical harm, there are legal steps that you can take for protection. Be sure to tell family and friends that this person is an abuser so that if he tries to do you harm, people be aware.
2007-10-17 04:12:22 · answer #4 · answered by bombastic 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You now hold the power, don't let him take it from you. He knew a text would bother you... how many times have you read it? Delete it now! He should have tried to call. You should call him, he's not expecting that. Be sure to meet in a public place, don't let him touch you or pay for anything. Pick a wave over a hug and handshake.DONT let him in on any of your future plans! Tell everyone you know where you're going to be and DO NOT change the location! Have a nice day.
2007-10-17 04:10:45 · answer #5 · answered by LankyLei 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hi. i would not have any contact with him. people that are abusers are all about the power. they want to control the other person. if you reply back to this guy and say hello, it will give him the impression that what he did was right. he wants and needs power to feel good about himself. don't give him that.
if he persists, you could always talk to the police, see what your options are. if you do not want to something as drastic, reply to him and just tell him you have moved on in your life and wish no contact with him.
2007-10-17 04:05:41 · answer #6 · answered by baby_sunshine_4eva 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Men that abuse are after power, plain and simple. Apparently he is in need of a "power fix" and he thinks he can get it from you. What I mean is if you answer him in ANY WAY, that gives him the power and gives him what he wants, a way back in to make your life a living hell. You got away once, don't put yourself in a position to have to get away again. Keep that power all to yourself. As long as you are strong and in control, there is nothing he can get from you. If you let your guard down with even a text message, he has you right where he wants you again. You are a strong, beautiful, tough woman!! Remember that!! The only way he can get to you is if you let him and you are too strong for that!! You only deserve the best and honey, he ain't it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-10-17 04:33:21 · answer #7 · answered by Starlightjen 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do not reply! Any reply, even "leave me alone" could serve as encouragement to him. If you haven't already, you can contact a domestic violence agency near you to get help in dealing what has happened to you and safety planning in case he goes farther than just texting you. If he does continue to try to contact you, you may have to change your number or get a protection order against him.
Abusers live on chaos, power and control. It doesn't matter what he wants, just don't have anything to do with him or you may find yourself getting sucked back into his crazy world!
2007-10-17 04:10:14 · answer #8 · answered by bainaashanti 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to tell him to stay away from you. Any relationship you had is over. Tell him that he is not to ever call, write or text you ever again.
If he persists, keep telling him these things and then go to the police and charge him with harassment or get a restraining order against him.
Protect yourself at all costs. You do not need to put yourself back into an abusive situation.
Be strong and be smart! Think with your head and not your heart with this guy.
2007-10-17 04:05:33 · answer #9 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Do not reply and do not meet him. Change your number. If he starts coming around tell him you are done and no longer want to see him. If he persists in harrasing you get a restraining order.
2007-10-17 04:04:59 · answer #10 · answered by mamabee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I say don't respond at all why would you want to open up old wounds? He's probably lonely and figured you were one of the ones that put up with his sorry a$$, but now you've moved on for a better life, you're worth it damn it. You need to blast that Gloria Gaynor song "I Will Survive"! Never look back.
2007-10-17 04:10:32 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋