Keep our "gay stuff" at home??

Question

This comment was left by another member in response to "why do people hate gays"... I thought it pointed to a very "real" problem that lies within the straight mentality... do "straight" people keep their "straight stuff" at home??...

here's his comment...:



Most people hate gays because they (gays) say they want to be treated equally to everyone else, yet they purposely set themselves apart from the rest of society, the same way black people do. If you want to be accepted by society you have to be part of it. If your gay, keep your gay stuff at home. The sad part of all this is that some gays, and blacks as well do fit perfectly into society, but because of the "extremists" they cause their own people to suffer.

Answer 1

1)When do gays keep their gay stuff - which is a part of their being - at home?
When they are in closet.

When are they in closet?
When they aren't ready to face homophobia.

If we can get rid of the homophobia, we can get rid of these kind of statements.
It is not humanistic or fair to expect from a human to suppress a natural and harmless part of himself / herself.

2)What is an extremist gay?
If he means making out in public or wearing erotic clothes, that's not extremism of gayness.

When we see a straight couple making out in the street, we don't say "look at that extremist straights!".
Or when we see a girl wearing mini skirts etc, we don't say "damn you straight people!".

These are life style choices which don't depend on people's sexual situation.
If we don't connect the choices of straight people with their sexual situation, why do we do it when it comes to gays?

3)By law, humans are equal.
By law, genders -man and woman- are equal.
Why shouldn't sexual situations -homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality ...- also be equal?

It is as natural as being a human and having a gender.
If straight people don't keep their straight life at home, why should gay people do so?

Answer 2

Well I am not a big fan of real extremists (such as people who blow themselves up in a crowded public place in the name of whatever) in anything myself, but for example to categorise any gay woman who wears masculane clothing or any black person who listens to rap music as 'extremist', which sets them apart from the rest of society, is silly.

The society is not homogenous, never was, never will be. There are devisions everywhere you look, whether it be based on religion, culture, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, class etc. Although some groups, such as gay people, are judged and made to look deviant much more than others.

However an important point to make on the so-called extrimists is that for example in the 1970's there were a lot of feminist movements, which were considered extreme at the time, and indeed some of them were, but as a general direction those movements brought some changes to our society which seemed radical at the time but are now percieved as completely normal, and in fact now whoever goes against those new norms is an outcast.

Society changes all the time, and I am pretty sure that in the(hopefully near) future comments like the poster quoted above will be looked at by everyone same as "all women should be housewives and stay at home" commets are looked at now.

Answer 3

There is no difference on "lifestyle" based on sexuality. Claiming that there are "lifestyle" differences is nothing but smokescreen propaganda from anti-gay bigots to TRY and come up with a reason for their baseless hate that others might actually believe. Unfortunately they are at least intelligent enough to know that providing some kind of reason (whether false or not) is a more effective form of brainwashing than just going "OMG THIS IS EVIL, FOLLOW ME". Even though that seems to work quite well with them too.. Oh and to the people below me: Just because you are attracted to different people does not mean you have a different "lifestyle". Someone who is attracted to and sleeps with only blondes has a different lifestyle than someone who does anyone? I don't think so..

Answer 4

I don't think he was trying to be hurtful. He has a good point somewhere in there, just said it all wrong and such. By "stuff", gay or straight, I think he meant agenda or views. There is a time and place for all views and beliefs, but telling someone your sexual orientation beliefs as soon as you're introduced to them is not it. Meeting someone in a general society setting and launching into a protest for equal rights is a good way to make a bad impression. And that's what I think the comment was trying to say.

Mind you I'm not saying all of anyone (gay, straight, black, white, whatever) is like that, but it's the small percent of vocal ones, the extremes ts that have no regard for proper time and place, that give the majority a bad name.

In any society. In any culture. In regards to any belief.

Answer 5

Yes!

And ironically, what did the GLBT community learn from the movement toward being "PC" that we do not use?

You would never denigrate a person of color, or a religion or a race, not in fun and not in life. It simply is not done. Right? Accepted rules of behavior.

So why do we schloff off that same non-PC crap with a shrug when it comes to GLBT people?

That d yke really is butch....what the heck does that mean?
That f ag is a flamer....what the heck does that mean?
...or whatever, we've all heard them and even if we scream, the larger society still finds this NON-PC act to be somehow less offensive? Why?

Who would ever say...
That Jew sure is cheap. You would be destroyed, and rightly so.

So why oh why do we, as a whole society, not follow the basic rules of PC when it involves the Gay community?

It's insane.

:-[

Answer 6

Keeping my gay stuff at home? That isn't being part of society. Just YESTERDAY, one of my co-workers wore a t-shirt that said "I love my wife" and no one thought anything of it. But if I had worn one that said "I love my husband" there might have been a huge uproar about me needing to leave my sexuality at home. Sometimes people like the one who posted need to step back and look at how much 'straight' stuff is out there, and realize that gay people should ALSO be allowed to do the same things that the straight people do.

Answer 7

What is to be gay? And therefore what is "gay stuff". The gay communities (plural) are very difficult to be defined, as there is not such a thing as a gay prototype. If the person you mention is disturbed by certain individuals' behaviour is up to him to challenge. If we were to follow rules of "correctness" to be empathised with, we would certainly end up in a Mission: Impossible (299). Barking is easy but only effective when done to the right tree! I really hate when people speak out their philias and phobias calling themselves "society" or other non-I-speak euphemisms!

Answer 8

He is right in essence.

It is true that there are some people in all races and groups who go to the extreme in their beliefs, sometimes at times when it may not be appropriate.

I am a lesbian but I don't go to work with rainbows hanging out of everyplace. And I don't try to hit on women unless I am in a place where I know women are lesbian.

As far as his comment about blacks that is true too. I know you've been in a grocery store and seen a women with multiple children that she cannot control and so she screams obscenities at them. As a black person I get embarrassed when people make all the stereotypes come to reality

This can go for every race and culture. If you act like what people think you should act like because you are a part of a group then you are no better than those people who are looking down on you for being a part of it

Answer 9

Grrrr.... says Mom.
It's a bit hard to "keep my gay stuff" at home. I need it to take myself shopping, to go to the library, to go out and pay bills, to go anywheres.
If tit for tat and all that said the cat, then he needs to keep his heterosexual stuff home and in the basement. I don't need to see a neanderthal on the street.....

Alright, now that I've settled down, I understand sort of what he means but there's no need to word it in a childish way. Yes there *are* extremists* in every culture (I live across the street from two types 1) a black couple who shout in the street almost every other day and a white redneck neighbor who has a gun collection eeek! -- they both know we're Lesbians and seem to have no problem with it oddly enough....) but for heaven's sake let's just all live together like Human Beings shall we????
(Mom now get's off her soap box)

Answer 10

im bi. when im at a club and i find a woman im attracted to i will dance with her make out with her or whatever. in my home i will express my sexual preferance, before i admitted to myself that i was bi i would do the same with a man in these kind of places. in both instances i would never go about expressing my sexuality in places that were in appropriate to do so. i think that a gay man or woman hitting on a person of the same sex in an inappropriate place is just as bad as a straight guy hitting on a woman (or straight woman hitting on a man) in an inapropriate place--such as work public functions or any place not designed specifically for this behavior. i think people get just as offended by a straight couple sucking face at the park as they would if two gays did that. yes, keep it to your private life.