he is all the time siting on my leg and flirting with me and all my guy friends like the girls do and he talks like a girl and he always said he has a girl friend but im a football player and he just is geting on my nerves i dont want to be to mean b/c his brother is on the football team and every thing but i just dont no what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-10-17 03:22:02 · 10 answers · asked by Jeffrey F 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
As nicely as possible, tell him that sitting on your lap and any other form of touching is out of line because it makes you uncomfortable, because you're not gay. If he keeps it up, talk to his brother first and let him know that the kid is working on your last nerve. Usually an older brother will help set the younger brother straight (so to speak).
2007-10-17 03:31:36 · answer #1 · answered by Clint 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds very like he's sexually attracted to you, though I personally have issues with the term "gay" the way it is usually employed. Humans have need of sexual expression and release, i.e., orgasm. Though some few, very few, are born with sexually ambiguous bodies, we can learn to gain some gratification through anything from masturbation to masochism to dirty underwear. Because of the pleasure principle we can become addicted to one or the other according to social and environmental influences. "Gay" is in my opinion an identity which is chosen. That choice is not usually conscious nor, because of the coercive influences of parents, society, etc. is it chosen freely.
Now, because of these factors it is absolutely morally correct to try not to hurt this person's feelings. It is less clear whether your reluctance to offend his brother in order to preserve your own integrity is courageous. The issue here is personal sovereignty and integrity. Tell your "friend" that he's acting like a girl, it makes you uncomfortable and firmly disengage yourself. If he is indeed a friend, that ought to do it. If that fails, then you have a choice of putting up with him and suffering the abuse that comes with being thought "gay" or hurting his feelings. I believe that in the long run it may be better for you speak harshly, even to slap the piss out of him if needed, but make him respect your space. Would you put up with some guy rubbing themselves all over your mother or sister?
Of course you do have the option of giving him a big kiss and fondling, but that might encourage him and the next thing you know you have joined the club. From what I understand, it is not a happy club.
Remember, you choose who you are and you bear the consequences.
2007-10-17 10:55:05 · answer #2 · answered by wordweevil 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
if he's always sitting on your lap and flirting with you, then yes, he's gay. if you aren't and/or you're not interested, then WHY are you letting him sit on your lap? you're only confusing him and leading him on thinking that it's ok for him to sit there. if he's getting on your nerves, then don't hang out with him. maintain some civility as his brother is a teammate of yours, but you're under no obligation to be friends with people you don't want to be
2007-10-17 10:58:27 · answer #3 · answered by Brian S 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, if you're sure he's making sexual advances on you, the most decent thing to say is "I'm flattered, but just not interested..."
If you're not sure, then just say "I'm not used such close physical contact with my friends, for example sitting so close etc".
You should only need to say it once, and if done with a firm but friendly tone it shouldn't ruin the friendship.
2007-10-17 10:52:42 · answer #4 · answered by James P 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
just let him know that u don't really feel comfortable having him sitting on ur lap and all... that he should stop because next time he does it u are really going 2 lose ur temper because it doesn't really make u feel alright. and tell him he's ur friend and all and if he wants 2 keep friends.... he should stop doing that bcuz u don't wanna lose him as a friend, but u just want 2 be friends and nothing more.
2007-10-17 10:28:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It doesnt hurt you for him to flirt. just enjoy the flattery and recognize that alot of people will want to beat him up for being that way, and you can be the stronger guy that accepts him for who he is
2007-10-17 11:23:54 · answer #6 · answered by blindevolution 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Never indulge in any such activity which your conscience does not approve. Otherwise you will be regretting for a long time to come.
2007-10-17 10:31:34 · answer #7 · answered by yogeshwargarg 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You do what you want to do. Decide to be happy. Value being happy above everything else. Then do what you want to do. (I guess the Puritans are alive and well, after all!)
2007-10-17 12:01:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell him you aren't gay.
2007-10-17 10:24:42 · answer #9 · answered by ☆ღWifey Wifeyღ☆ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell him it will never happen. you're straight.
2007-10-17 10:39:04 · answer #10 · answered by mari m 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋