I've been dating this guy for a while and he is the sweetest thing ever and I love him so much...! his mom won't ever let him come over to my house !!! He's 19 I think he should be able to make his own choices! He has his own job and pays for everything of his I think he should get to make the choice whether or not he wants to come over to my house! but she is getting in between our relationship! and I don't want her to effect our relationship! What should I do?
2007-10-17 03:03:05 · 18 answers · asked by lil_ms_attitude122 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He's trying to save up for an aparment but he works all the freaking time!
Him and I already decided that we are not having sex for a while!
2007-10-17 03:07:08 · update #1
It's so hard to talk to his mom because she comes off not talking to anyone! but his dad lets him do anything I mean nothing bad! he lives 30 minutes away from me! its not that far of a drive some people can even make it in 15 minutes depending on traffic! I dont want him to have to choose because that is just wrong I would hate for him to tell me to choose between my mom or him because me and my mom are so close and I love her so dearly!!!
2007-10-17 03:10:05 · update #2
Tread lightly, and don't bad mouth her or her ideas. Respect her and try to see her side, even if you don't agree. In the long run, IF she becomes your MIL, you don't want one from He double hockey sticks....and your beloved will respect you if your respect his mom, even if he says things out of frustration...
EDIT: remember Mom will always be MOM, no matter what happens, just like kids will always be yours no matter "what husband" (reality bites!) you have, you can never get between them or resentment will build up and eat away at your relationship.
I am SO GLAD you guys decided to wait on the sex thing, but remember that the appearance of evil (sin) is bad too. It might be best for him not to move out and save his money for a "real" future with you, then mom can see that he is mature and serious about your life together and then maybe, she will help you two out....
2007-10-17 03:06:34 · answer #1 · answered by Kiki B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what was the main reason why your boyfriend's mom wanted you to break up? Were you all underage. If so she was right to do so because she saw that your lifes were wasted. Am sure if you are over 18yrs she shouldn't have been involved to break you up. If you are underage, you might play around and suddenly becomes pregnant. Taking care of a child is not simple as you might think. Secondly she might have seen that if you would be a pregnant and her son is not in a position to take care of you, it would be her to take care of that child. However You say you love each other soo much, consider to meet and talk in great detail about your relationship and all the consequences that might surround you friendship. Ask yourself if you capable to handle pregnancy, support yoursellves way including financially. Figure out how dip is you love toward each other or down the road thing would go astray and becomes stranded and single, better choose passionate love over romantic love. Please consider several factors that affect relattionship and see if you would handle and if not let it go and move on
2016-05-23 03:42:12 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to him then to his mother. He should be allowed to come to your house at a reasonable hour and if there is an adult home (19 is not an adult unless you own the house, pay all the bills, have a job, and own a car). If he lives with his mom and has a curfew then he has to respect his moms house rules and so do you...Good luck.
PS-paying for everything doesn't give him any leverage...a 19 yr old who works, should pay for everything (unless they are in college) and no matter how much they pay they can never repay their parents for the raising them and helping to mold them into the person that they have become.
2007-10-17 03:10:34 · answer #3 · answered by outspoken 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
19 years old, has a job, and pays his own way? That's some level headed 19 year old! Sounds like mom is very over protective. Does he feel as strongly as you do about this issue? If he did, I'm pretty sure he has spoken to his mom about this. As for you, have you made any attempts to talk to her? Might do you some good to earn some brownie points, and not expect things to flow flawlessly without a little work :)
Good Luck
2007-10-17 03:09:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not what you should do it is what he should do...If he has a job and is doing all that well why dont he get his own. As long as he lives under his mom's roof he will have to go by her rules.Tell him it is time to cut the cord. Go rent a place even if it is just a room, that would be better than nothing.
Good Luck to you both.....
2007-10-17 03:10:44 · answer #5 · answered by Leneki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the bf to talk to his mom and tell her that he's of age and will be seeing you at ur house or he'll be finding a place of his own....if he can't seem to do that then hon he'll never be able to let go of the "apron string" as they say and you'll be with a "mommy's boy".....at your age is that what u want?
2007-10-17 03:11:10 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel my other half of 3 years is very influenced by his father (they work together and he thinks the sun shines out of his fathers ****!!) his dad is obsessional about his kids and absolutly despises is kids partners because in his eyes we are steeling them away from him (not a normal person at all, not enough hours in the day to explain how wierd he is)!
I would suggest you have a talk with your boyfriend and just explain that it is HIS life now NOT his mothers and she needs to let him make his own mistakes and learn from them what are the reasons as to why he is not allowed over to your house, I find it strange that at 19 he does as his mother tells him. Also as he's 19 he will hopefully start to realise what is going on and will distance himself from her a bit. She is probibly frightened of loosing her baby as he is at that age now where he may want to start spreading his wings. Don't start slagging her off or digging at her to him he will only distance himself from you which is not what you want. Just try to ride it out I've managed it fir 3 years now. My boyfriend moved in with me almost immediatly and we get on great apart from his family (well his dad and sister) hate my guts.....the reason....Well his father hates me coz I'm with his son and his sister hates me because her father does and they tried in vain to split us up and it actually made us stronger and now they hate me even more coz my boyfriend and I have such a connection and love for each other they can't get rid of me. I'm fine with that I'd rather know they hate me than be all nice to my face and then slag me off. I'm afraid that is familys if you love him and he loves you then ignore all the politics and get on with your life and enjoy it to the max with him.
Good Luck with the Monster in Law !!
2007-10-17 03:17:53 · answer #7 · answered by sarahc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure how old you are, but if he feels the same way that you feel then maybe he should try moving out on his own this way he can get the freedom that he is seeking . his mom probably feels that her house her rules.
2007-10-17 03:06:14 · answer #8 · answered by Amazing_clarity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your BF has to put his foot down and start being an adult, and let his mom know in a nice way, that he can see whomever he wants whenever he wants.
How old are you?
2007-10-17 03:06:12 · answer #9 · answered by Gotta luv it! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to talk to her, not you. Or, since he has a job, he could get an apartment and move out of her house.
2007-10-17 03:05:52 · answer #10 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋