How should I confront my roommate about the issue of having company?

Question

My roommate and I get along as well as any other.......I guess. I believe that I am more courteous to her than she is to me. For example, I happen to be a night owl, but I am a quiet one. However, if I am sleeping she will be one the phone talking EXTRA loud as if I am not there.

Anyhow, the current issue that I have with her is that she let a male friend of hers spend the night in our dorm room without even asking me or saying something.

I want to confront her on this issue since I found what she did to be incredibly disrespectful. She pretty much acted as if I wasn't even in the room (and I don't mean that they were getting down while I was in the room), and I don't feel that she has the right to do that when we are sharing one room. I feel as if she should ask me. Why do I have to be uncomfortable in my own space? It isn't like we are in an apartment and she was in an entirely different room.

I just wanted to add that I am a very laid back person, and I would prefer to confront this issue without drama. However, if you feel that drama is inevitable I would appreciate you still posting your answers. Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

You cant tell her she cant have a guy over, but she should at least have warned you.

Answer 2

I would let her know that you need to talk to her. Try to be very polite about it at first and let her know that you would appreciate it that if she wants company over she should ask first since you two do share a room. Or try to come up with an agreement that she can only do it on a specific night when you can make arrangements to be gone all night or find another place to stay yourself or she can go spend the night with him once in awhile.

Answer 3

then let her know u like having her as a roommate but u dont want some stranger sleeping int he bed across from u. it makes uncomfortable and its a single roomur sharing. if she wants some alone time, she could ask u to give her an hour alone and u will go grabs oemthign to eat, etc but u def need to not wake up to anymore strangers.

Answer 4

Hi...

Maybe you could let your friend know how uncomfortable it makes you when she has the boyfriend there overnight and visiting when you don't have that much privacy to begin with. Tell her you don't mean any harm, and aren't angry with her, just lacking privacy.

Ask her what she thinks the two of you could do in order to resolve the situation.