I'm a young single woman and have had a huge argument with my best friend (a lovely man) over a decision I made concerning my values. Call me old fashion but I'm reserved and don't believe in sharing a bed regardless of how innocent it is. Granted we have been more than friends in the past but that stopped a year ago and he presses me every now and again although it's only teasing I gently resist. He's going through a really rough time right now and whilst I'm trying my best to be supportive I'll not sacrifice my values. We had a huge argument about sharing a hotel room should he visit me. Granted I got angry too and could have been gentler in my responses, but I have apologised for hurting him and asked for his forgiveness - he has simply told me to leave him alone. This hurts like crazy... Am I out of order? Is there anything esle I should do?
2007-10-17 02:40:03 · 8 answers · asked by One_smart_pumpkin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I agree in whole w/Richard hold your ground and never be anyone's pin cushion! If he's truly your friend his sexual advances would never come into play whenever he has had a tough time in life. After all what if you were married to someone? How could you justify to your spouse having a friend like that.
Good Luck and be STRONG.
2007-10-17 02:53:57 · answer #1 · answered by My Friends Know My Name 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That should be one of the reasons why you two have been friends for so long to begin with is that he has always respected your values. But, considering the fact that you two have done things in the past and you both had agreed to stop and now he is having second thoughts about it. Maybe trying to write him a letter and letting him know how you truly feel and/or to find out what is wrong with him. Maybe he is looking for more than just friendship anymore with you. See if you two can meet somewhere and discuss this in a much calmer fashion. Also let him know that you still want to be his friend no matter what the outcome of your discussion will be.
2007-10-17 09:57:44 · answer #2 · answered by vagooch2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it be - and give your friend the space he needs. He seems like very troubled to me and if he's not welcoming your support, then I would leave him alone. There's alot more going on in his life. And all you can do is just on go with your life and hope for the best. And you know, you seemed like a level headed person and not compromising your values! Good for you, you dont need another headache from this guy if it anything bad has happened to you... Let say getting pregnant by accident! It'd be more of a burden to you. Good luck and I know it's not easy. You've done your part and now, let him make the first move.
2007-10-17 09:50:03 · answer #3 · answered by mitchchan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I respect your values and please stand by them. you have done absolutely right thing. Don't feel bad about it. you had to hurt him because there was no other way he could understand. And you would have ended up sacrificing ur values in the attempt of pleasing him.
Right now don't worry much about him , he will himself cool down after some time and will realize that u r a tough nut to crack and he cannot play around with u , Don't be afraid of loosing his friendship because he needs u more then u do.
2007-10-17 09:51:16 · answer #4 · answered by Rita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy still wants to have sex with you and he's making an attempt to do so.
I'm sure you are hurt, but you will eventually realize he has ulterior motives, even if you don't think so.
Do what feels right for you. Just because someone doesn't have the same values as us, does not mean we need to give in.
2007-10-17 09:50:31 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being in a difficult situation is hard enough in itself. I do understand your feelings and just maybe it could have been handle better. The key here is not what you said but how you said it. For example, I can say "I love you", if I yell it at you, it kind of loses what my intended thought was. Go back to him and explain your feelings and ask him to understand. If he does, forgiveness comes next. If not, he may need some more time to get over it.
2007-10-17 09:49:13 · answer #6 · answered by Kaya M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT LIE WITH HIM ANYMORE AND TELL HIM HE BEING THE BEST FRIEND THERE IS NOTHING CALLED VALUES OR HURT BETWEEN 2 GOOD FRIENDS
2007-10-17 09:55:40 · answer #7 · answered by chandrasekaran s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants more than you want to give...............it hurts him(he wants you) .....that will not change,,,,,,,,,,,,,,live with the pain and leave him alone..after all, you have your values
2007-10-17 09:46:21 · answer #8 · answered by richard t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋