My wife and I are seperated.
Her 1st husband has been a real jerk to her for months since moving her ex sister in law into his house with him as his g/f , she uses drug's and is known for abuse physically and emotionally towards her ex step daughter , my wife's niece.
The problem is , my step daughter has to by court order visit her dad every 2nd weekend and the last time they had her they bullied her into a hair cut she didnt want she's 9.
My wife has a son who was conceived while her and her ex husband were seperated for a year back in 1994 , he begged her to take him back and after 7 months she caved and he's been raising this boy as his own ever since , his real father had no guts and when he was told to stay out of the boys life he did and moved to another state.But her ex husband decided he didnt want to be the boys dad anymore and stopped visitation accusing him of all sort's of stupid thing's.
Now the ex husband wants custody of my wife's daughter and is claiming ..
2007-10-17 02:39:48 · 9 answers · asked by Dragon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Now the ex husband wants custody of my wife's daughter and is claiming that her 12 year old molested his daughter (her daughter) , I have raised these kid's since they were 18 months old and 5 and it's killing me to see him do this to her but I cant intervene because I am not even just the step parent anymore , and these ridiculous court order's have to followed .
She wont let me comfort her she's angry and is hating everyone except the kids.I dont know what to do she's spoken to a lawyer today and they've told her his threat today of calling child safety wont bring anything out because the brother is innocent and even though he stated if he cant have the daughter neither can she welfare wont remove the children from her custody ..
How would you handle this situation? please this is a real question , she can be pig headed but she loves these kids immensley and would not survive without them.They've always come 1st with her.Even over me .
help , thank you.
2007-10-17 02:43:18 · update #1
Thanks guys , she cant be in the same room as him he is an abuser emotionally , verbally and physically she is scared to death of him , as to finding the boys' biological dad she did that he told her to take a hike he has his life now and his son isnt involved in it , mind you neither are the other 5 kids to 3 other women he's had since my step son was born , the whole thing is a mess , we've raised the kid's to understand pedophelia and to know it is not a secret and also not to believe the line "If you tell I'll hurt your family" , but she hasnt been touched by anyone this isnt the 1st time child safety has been called in because of the drug using g/f they did state any further complaints would be lodged as a malice complaint and they'd be dealt with by the courts.
My wife's always been 1 to stand up for herself due to her marriage to him , she had to be the strong 1 who stood between him and his sons.I cant change her into allowing me in where her kids are concerned but love them
2007-10-17 03:27:54 · update #2
The judge knows the step mum is a drug user he said it isnt up to her in the daily raising of the daughter so she doesnt even gain recognition in the courts.She's a non entity.
2007-10-17 03:29:16 · update #3
That is a good thing that she puts her kids first, but she also needs to take into consideration that you are there for moral support for her and the kids. Now, that she has talked to an attorney and children services will not take them out of the house then that is a good thing on her behalf. But, if her ex can prove that his daughter has been sexually molested then any male figure in her life will be asked to help in this case. If she has been sexually abused they can find the jerk by his samples and do something about it legally. Whether it be the boy or the father or another male figure in her life.
2007-10-17 03:07:11 · answer #1 · answered by vagooch2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-05 12:39:12 · answer #2 · answered by casimiro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She - your wife - is probably cutting off everything but the kids in her life because of all that has happened to her so now all you can do is to try to support her. help her find a good attorney, first of all, and list everything you know about the ex husband - for example, the fact that he moved a drug addict into his home - and give that to your wife to use as ammunition against this guy. If you take a trip to the state where the state where the boy's father is and talk to him, if he will talk to you, you may find ammunition she can use against the ex and by getting that for her she will be grateful to you and the two of you may be able to get back to normal once all of this has been decided by the courts. Good luck to you.
2007-10-17 03:00:04 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Crazy exes love to manipulate and destroy. We have an ex wife in our lives that drives us crazy also. Some comfort to you will be to know that many a good man has tried to get custody from a woman who is not so good and they almost never win. In fact I am doing research on the judicial system for a book I am writing about this subject. I don't think that you all have a thing to worry about other than the craziness of the home that your step child goes to. She will not be removed from you.
2007-10-17 02:50:30 · answer #4 · answered by Rein 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would very calmly call the ex and ask to meet with him. I'd tell him I want to give him custody of the kids and we need to talk about it one on one. Then when we were seated, I would reach over with a pair of pliers, apply them to his crouch and tell him look you POS, you might get by with bullying other people but not me. Try to take my kids and I will rip your balls off. And I'd give a real hard squeeze to let him know I'm not playing games with him, I mean what I say.
2007-10-17 03:00:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Regardless of how you feel, you have no legal standing to do anything except as a spectator to the idiocy.
Your EX is the mother of both children and it is up to her to file any motions or petitions necessary to protect the children.
2007-10-17 03:01:23 · answer #6 · answered by hexeliebe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
she should take the kids and get them as far away from the situation as possible prove the other woman is abusive and that the ex is not doing anything about it show that a better life can be had elswhere and get the hell outta there
2007-10-17 02:45:28 · answer #7 · answered by roboshmere3000 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That filing of paperwork goes both ways. File against him. If he is being abusive prove it. Don't roll over.
On a different matter...if you are going to be the step father then be the father. "Step" up and be the parent. if she won't let you, then let her know you joined up for better or worse.
2007-10-17 02:50:30 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only thing you can do is go to court and let a judge decide.
2007-10-17 02:48:13 · answer #9 · answered by Eleanor Roosevelt 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋