What can I do? My gf of over a year split with me 10 weeks ago...?

Question

She came back from a family holiday realising that the world is bigger than our town, she doesnt want commitment and thats it. I've tried to be friends but now she is drifting away. We were friends before we dated. I'm quite a lonely person, I was so happy to be with her and I really don't want to loose that friendship. The confusing thing is that during the last 10 weeks we have met up and got on really well, but its getting less and her communication sucks.

But wouldn't you do everything you could to keep hold of the one you love? To me she wasn't just a gf, and during our relationship she wanted it to grow (start a family, live together) but after the holiday its like her family changed her mind.

Answer 1

Sorry, but it is over and you need to try and move forward. Obviously she has reevaluated her life and has decided that she needs a change. That doesn't necessarily mean that you have anything wrong with you. It means that SHE has decided that some things in her life need adjusting. Breaking up hurts and you need time to get over the loss of a love life, friendship and basically your whole world is turned upside down. Try and find something to divert your attention, like trying to get a social life back that doesn't involve reminders of your time together. Take this as an opportunity to try new things out there. Don't beat yourself up rehashing what could have been, rather use this as a learning life experience that is just a step toward who you are really supposed to meet and spend the rest of your life with. Later, if you and your ex are meant to be together than you will be. Good Luck to you!

Answer 2

I know these experiences are painful, but you have to see it from a different perspective. It takes two to tango. Two people must be equally attracted to one another for the relationship to have a prayer, and you should be sweating with relief that one of you found out that it wasn't the right match BEFORE y'all went and got married. People feel the way they feel, and when the feeling that they had goes away, the only honest thing to do is to tell the other person, so that you give that person and yourself the chance to move on. A breakup means that something just wasn't right, and that's the whole purpose of people going together for a while before they rush into that final commitment.

LOL years ago, I had my turn at being both the dumper, and the dumper, and quite honestly, I absolutely believe that is a reason why so many marriages fail. One or both of them realise that there are some personality or behavioural differences with the person they're going with, that they are uncomfortable with. But they either just can't bring themselves to initiate the breakup, or they blow it off and somehow - god knows why - they think it'll just go away after marriage. These things not only DON'T go away, they become more and more serious issues over time. So it's the wise thing to do if you confront them the moment they appear, and always listen to your gut when it's trying to tell you that there is a difference between you and the other person that is irreconcileable.

I survived getting dumped, and I am sure the guys I dumped also survived and went on to find somebody else. I sure did, and we've been married now for a looooooong time. Trust me far better to feel some brief pain now, than the long and tiresome misery of a broken marriage and becoming another divorce statistic on down the road.

Answer 3

You're never going to get her back if she's made the decision to leave. it sounds as though your world has been totally revolving around her, so you need to make some changes and meet some new people. Join a club or an evening class, ask people you work with to all go for a drink one night. You'll soon see that there's more out there for you too.

Answer 4

I think you are only setting yourself up for pain by trying to be friends with her. You don't just want to be friends, so you're going to look for hope where there isn't any. It's hard, but the best thing to do is cut off all contact with her- that means everything, no calls, emails or texts. It's hard, but in the end it is worth it. It's the only thing that will allow your heard and mind to heal and move on- and then find someone who does want to be with you.

Good luck.

Answer 5

if the communication has soured then she is doing everything she can to stop you from coming back. There must have been something that happened....like maybe her parents gave her a history (like maybe not to get involved till you have your college in, or we won't pay for your college if you have a bf, etc). Maybe you appear too needy, or maybe it's because you just want to be friends, or maybe she sees no future with you, etc. Since she's gone it's time to move on.

Answer 6

Just be friends with her (if you want but i suggest you shouldn't) let her do her own thing, right now shes thinking that there's so much out there she needs to explore. Maybe she meet someone, and is distancing herself from you. So the best thing to do is do your own thing go do some exploring of the world.

Answer 7

Loose her and get on with your life. Go scuba diving, or take flying lessons, or just grab a cheap flight for the weekend to anywhere. Must be something fun to do besides cry over her!

Answer 8

she's no longer into you...let go and meet other people. a new girlfriend may take awhile, but you can find new friends. it hurts like hell right now, but it gets better as time goes by.

Answer 9

Let her go, its over. Move on, make new friends, start socializing a little more.

Answer 10

Get over it and on with your life. You sound young because older, more experienced people would already have another girlfriend.