Daddy's girl?

Question

I am only fourteen so if you think this is dumb question then I'm sorry. My mom & dad have been fighting a lot lately. My mom does everything she can to make my dad mad. He doesn't get violent or anything, he just leaves when he gets really mad. He comes to all my softball and baseball games, I love him to death.
My grandmother got sick and we had to go to Houston to see her. He grew up in Houston, we live in Alabama now. I didn't know my daddy had so many friends till we went this last time. My mother was not with us. I met a lady named Sarah who I guess my daddy dated in high school. She was so nice to me and my daddy and me had more fun together than we have ever had before. He was so funny and never got mad once. I think he still cares about Sarah because he acted so strange around her.
On the way home he said that things were about to change and that I would have to make a choice, my mother or him.
I am choosing my daddy, is it wrong for me to feel this way?

I did not mean he said to choose who to love but who to live with. My daddy has never said one bad thing about my mother.

Answer 1

It is not wrong to choose ur dad, u choose whoever is going to raise u right and if u think thats ur dad then ur dad it is... Its gonna be hard to look ur mom in the face and tell her but u have to do it don't back outta what u want and don't let no1 make u feel bad for the decision u are about to make!!

Answer 2

It's not a stupid question......
You are never wrong to feel anything. If that is how you feel it is how you feel. If you truly believe you would have a better all around life with your father, then choose him to live with. But you have to have all the facts first. You seem to be blaming your mom for the relationship she and your dad have. Until you know all the facts, you can't really judge her. All you see is her making him mad, but you don't know what he could have said to her before. They seem to be on the verge of divorce and that isn't easy on anyone. They are both stressed and not acting normal. You saw your dad's best side when you went to Houston, but realize your mom has a good side too.
nobody here can tell you who you should live with. None of us knows either of your parents. Try to make it an informed decision. Don't blame your mom for all the problems and then punish her by taking your dad's side. Try to stay open minded until the end. Some things may come out that you didn't know before.

Your father shouldn't have said what he said. This is going to be hard enough when the time comes, for now you are left wondering when the ball is going to drop and all the chaos is going to let loose. He should have kept this tidbit of information to himself........

Answer 3

No you are not wrong. When my parents split up, my brothers stayed with my mom, and my sisters moved in with my dad. My brothers were young and did not want to leave their school and friends. My sisters were older and felt my dad was easier to live with.

Your mother may make you feel bad if you do not choose her. But, you have to do what makes you happy. It does not mean you don't love your mom or that you are a bad person. It just means that living with your father will help you to grow to be a better individual. You will learn how to deal with anger and you will be living in an environment that makes you feel loved.

I'm sorry that you have to go through with this at such a young age. Divorce is hard for everyone involved. But make peace with the fact that both your parents love you and none of this is your fault.

Answer 4

it relatively is in basic terms a asserting from some time past, truly while Dad's doted on their daughters greater and boys have been taught to be enormous boys and be greater stoic. My opinion besides. only desire she has a solid relationship with you the two. there'll be classes while she will choose "daddy do it" or "mommy do it" better than the different. i'm with my son all day so while dad is residing house he does like dad, yet after 8 hours i'm noticeably boring and that i do might desire to set limits plenty greater many times.

Answer 5

Sweetie, there is probably more going on in your parent's relationship than you realize. Your mom is not upset for no reason at all. Your father is not completely blameless in the marriage. It takes 2 to make a marriage work and 2 to split it up. I think it is odd that your father was hanging out with another woman while your G-ma was sick...Could it be that your dad has been cheating on your mom throughout the marriage? I also think that it is unfair and wrong that your dad would tell you you would have to choose between them. You need both your parents in your life. There should be no choice in the matter. Please don't be angry with your mom...I am sure she loves you very much.

Good luck and I hope it all gets better

Answer 6

Its wrong for your father to have put that question to you in the first place. Frankly if he really had your best interest in mind he would never have included you in such a manner or was inappropriate in the way he was. No matter if your folks break up or they work out their differences, its none of your business. For you father to pit you against your mother in this way is reprehensible. He may go to your games but he sure didn't give birth to you.

Obviously your mother doesn't stand a chance in this, but I do hope when you are a grown woman with a husband and family of your own you will come to understand just how wrong this is. In the mean time, I hope for your sake that grass on the other side of the fence is as green as you seem to think it is.

Answer 7

Whatever makes you happiest. But remember your mom loves you very much too, and they should look out for your best interests. Nothing wrong with being with both of them but in separate homes. Your dad needs to realize that and not make you choose. There is no choosing between biological parents you love them the same. Your dad is fun but I am sure your mom is responsible like most moms are. You should have the best of both worlds. But do whats in your heart. Talk to your dad about how you feel.

Answer 8

It sounds as though you are going to have to make some hard decisions over the next few months. Your father should know better than to ask you to choose between your mother and himself. This is not something that a child should ever have to do unless there are extenuating circumstances (i.e. such as abuse etc). You need to speak to both your parents, together if possible and tell them how you feel. Don't keep it in. They both obviously love you very much and in circumstances where partners (i.e. mum and dad) are going through rocky patches in their relationship, they tend to forget about the others they are hurting in the process. Have a chat with them and good luck to you. And for the record, your question is definitely NOT dumb and I applaud your ability to construct such an interesting (yet upsetting to read) question at such a young age as 14. Good for you, your parents are very lucky to have you.

Answer 9

No, its not wrong your old enough to make your own decisions. Just make sure that this is what you really really want because once the decision has been made its hard to undo.Just because your parents fight though and u see your mother being and saying harsh things to your father and al u see in his responses are him walking out , u dont know your mothers side of the story, Im sure if you were to chose to stay with him it would break your mothers heart!! No one should have to choose between their parents but unfortunately he put y ou in that spot, and he shouldnt have worded it as he did. Just wait and see what happpens, play it by ear and untill shey both come to you with a final decion on whats going to happen to your family i would really sit back and examin the whole change thats about to happen. Whatever you decide it will be a done deal, so make sure you are 100% confident in the decisions you have made, and the lifestyle change thats will happen regardless of which parent you choose to be with. Good luck to you, hope things turn out the best for all of you.

Answer 10

It sounds like you might be better off with you dad, but the only people who have all the information, are your parents. Try to calmly talk to your mom, alone, and see if she can explain why she treats your dad the way she does. Try not to be accusing in your questions. She may feel she has valid reasons. But if it comes down to a choice of who you want to live with, whatever your choice is up to you.