Should i continue to breast feed?

Question

My son is 5 months old. Breast feeding since birth and it has been smooth. But it is affecting my intimate life with my husband. We have not engaged in any intimacy for almost 8 months (counting in pregnancy days). How can i continuing breastfeeding without causing any damage to my marriage?

I feel unsexy and awkward. =(

thank you to everyone who has answered this. You guys are very supportive!

Answer 1

I have breastfed my children a combine total of 6 1/2 years, with the consequences (that I won't go into detail on here-lol!) that come with breastfeeding for 6 1/2 years! I feel sexy and hot when I'm with my husband. I could say it's because I feel empowered as a mother and love what having children does to my body yadda, yadda, but the truth is he and I have a great sex life (by that I mean that with multiple children in our house we have sex on the average of 4 times per week, lots of special looks across the room etc.) because of HIS attitude. He just told me that he likes the look of a mom that has obviously had a couple kids and he loves to see women breastfeed in public - yeah for me!!

The American Academy of Pediatrics has done a complete about face in the last few years and strongly reccomends that women breastfeed their children for as long as possible, even past a year! That's how important it is. You should check out their website.

If I were you I would really try to continue and change how you feel about your new life as a sexy, hot, breastfeeding mommy. Join a support group like Le Leche league or one at the hospital where you gave birth, or call a midwife etc.

However, if all else fails, yes, your relationship with your husband is paramount. The thing that will make your son's life the best it can be is living in a strong, supportive, functional family with both of his biological parents having lots and lots of healthy sex. He won't do as well in life as a breastfed child of divorced parents or one who has to spend his weekends visiting his parents in the insane asylum- driven mad by orgasm deficiency syndrome! (which doesn't really exist, I just made that up)

-Good Luck!

Answer 2

Your problem is not the breastfeeding. If you have not had sex in 8 months, you were having the problem even before you started breastfeeding. Most women love having sex in the third trimester, the fact that you had no sex then signals other problems. Don't force your baby on formula, that is not the solution to your problem. Your baby will no longer get the benefits of breast milk and bonding and you will be no closer to solving your problem.
Breastfeeding should cause no more problems for you than if your baby woke up and needed a bottle of formula while you were trying to make love, babies have a sixth sense about that, but that is normal. The baby will still need to be fed and you will need to stop making love no matter how you are feeding your son.
You may be a little embarrassed about your breasts. There is no need to. Embrace your womanhood! I have never felt more sexy in my life than when I was nursing my babies. This transferred over to our sex life. My husband loved my big boobs too. Just keep a towel close by in the early months, but you should be past the point of spraying everywhere.
I would closely examine your marriage and try and figure out if there may be some other reason you are not letting yourself be intimate with your husband.

Answer 3

I completely understand what you are going through! I had the exact same issue....no libido while breastfeeding....It was also somewhat uncomfortable to have sex because (sorry for being so graphic) but lubrication was an issue-- which it had NEVER been before breastfeeding. I was so uninformed I didn't even know that this was a common problem among breastfeeding women. In my despair, I talked to a friend who explained that it was normal. I was then able to discuss it with my husband and we decided together that we would wait until the baby was 6 months old before stopping breastfeeding. We just felt it was important for our marriage. I do sometimes miss breastfeeding but I have found many others ways to bond with my baby and my family is much healthier because of this decision.

[Be warned, even though I weaned the baby over several weeks, I had a lot of hormonal issues and went thru worst depression than when I was immediately post partum. This is also a common issue among women that I did not know about. But after a few weeks, it passes and your body gets back to normal. ]

Answer 4

Yes you should continue.

But you should also seek some help from your doctor, or at least read up on some stuff. It may not be the breastfeeding... sometimes after giving birth the hormonal changes can cause a decrease in libido. If it is the breastfeeding, then it may be more mental than physical, and perhaps speaking to someone about it will help you get past this hurdle.

here's a list of articles to look at: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mom/bfhelp-mother.html#intimacy

Answer 5

I am breastfeeding my 10mo and have been since he was born. I had no libido at all, not until I got my periods back. It still feels weird not having my boobs as part of the intimacy, but it is really for a short while. If you don't feel comfortable having relations because you are breastfeeding or your husband has issues about touching your feeding implements then you will have to think about it. My partner is understanding and he just stays well away from my feeding tools, he says they are on loan to his son for 12 months, after that he wants them back, lol. I'm not property, but at least I'm in demand, lol

Answer 6

How is it stopping you being intimate? I too am breastfeeding a 5 month old and we have no problem in that area! Obviously, you can't do them both at the same time (!) but other than that, I can't see how it can interfere in that area of your life.

The unsexy-ness and awkward-ness could be due to the fact that you have just had a baby and nothing to do with breastfeeding. Don't give up before you have explored WHY you feel like this.

Answer 7

Continue breastfeeding it really is best for baby.
When I had my first it was a little awkward at first because every time I was aroused my breasts leaked. And this was very off putting for both me and him.
Eventually our "urges" overcame our eww at the whole milk thing. We also had no booby touching because it felt wrong as they were the babies now. (This did eventualy wear off).
Try talking to your husband about how you are feeling and see what happens. Maybe get him to look after the bub for abit so you can have a shower and feel refreshed, maybe get dressed up abit. And see what happens.

I know it sounds weird but what worked for me was having him do some housework, so I could rest and relax for abit. Whether it was washing dishes, or putting away the clothes while I settled the baby down for bed. Just so I didnt have a whole list of things I still had to do. That just exhausted me thinking of them lol!

Answer 8

Breastfeeding should not affect your intimate life. Try buying some pretty lingerie with a nice bra. Leave it on if it makes you feel better. Also, from someone who did breastfeed and isn't any longer, your boobs look WAY more attractive now than they are going to look after your milk dries up. Your boobs look deflated and saggy. That was a major source of self conciousness for me. Also, my husband loved that I breastfed. He felt it was natural and a good thing for our baby, not to mention your boobs do look very full. As he said, pregnancy and all that are real life. We don't get to look or be 18 forever!

Answer 9

I breastfed both my children and there was no intimacy problem. The only difficulty was that I didn't want him to touch my breasts. You and your husband need to sit down and talk and find a way to work this out. And your baby should continue to breastfeed until he is at least a year old. Maybe someone at the la leche league could offer advice. They've all been through it as well.

Answer 10

I would talk to your husband about it... my husband didn't care that I was breastfeeding... I did wear a bra though so I didn't leak because I had an over abundance of milk. That definitely made me feel less sexy but I told him that and he laughed and said he didn't even notice. Most likely it bothers you, but not your husband. Make sure you talk about it... that is the best thing.
Men are usually attracted to a confident woman, so even if you feel less sexy, pretend for a little bit and get his attention and I bet he'll be ready to go... and then his readiness will give you confidence and you won't need to pretend anymore.

Good luck!