I am 17 year old female. like most teenagers im gaving problems with my family, but it is not the expected arguments and row. i get death threats from my dad because im with a black guy and have been with him for 2years. i get abused by my mum and dad, they tell me im a hoe, asking where i work because they think im a prostitute, according to them i come home late ( im home by 7pm). i go college im religious and i dont want to leave home but io feel like i have to because apart from all this im being pressured into marrying my mums cousin who is 30. ive been to the councel before but my parents told them that they wat me back home so i had to leave the hostle.
c
2007-10-17 00:32:40 · 7 answers · asked by lilstar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
feel bad for you chick why not move out with one of your friends for a while or even in with your boyfriend don't let your parents win its your life not theirs and the next time your near your dad carry some sort of recording device so that whenever he threatens you you can tak it to the police and get a court order out against hime he'll never be able to go near you again
2007-10-17 00:39:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're from a fairly strict background - are you Asian living in Britain? Naturally there is a conflict of cultures, and your parents are afraid of losing you to the other culture, which I think is very sad, as you say you are religious and go to college and I suspect you love them despite their treatment of you.
Technically speaking, you're underage, so your parents do call the shots. However, I don't think that they can force you to marry against your will, so I think that you should investigate this further. Contact your local citizen's information bureau to find out, this may be a way out of what sounds like a very stressful family environment for you.
If your mother hits you and leaves a mark, then go to the police and the doctor and get it documented. Your father threatens you about your boyfriend? Make sure there are independent witnesses.
I'm sorry if I sound like a hard case when it comes to dealing with your family (and I do sincerely recognise the fact that they are your nearest and dearest, despite their treatment of you), but I have had to deal with difficult family members and at a certain point for me it was a case of 'enough', and I kicked my sister out of a flat I had invited her to share because she was just so horrible and disrespectful of my privacy. Since then she's had to go through considerable difficulty, and this has made her a lot more appreciative of her family. And a far nicer person.
2007-10-17 00:48:24 · answer #2 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are some useful links:
http://www.refuge.org.uk/
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
http://www.southallblacksisters.org.uk/
National and Regional Helplines:
# Women’s Aid National Domestic Violence 24-hour helpline: 08457 023 468.
# Refuge Crisis Line (London wide): 0870 599 5443.
# Manchester Domestic Violence Helpline: 0161 839 8574.
# Nottingham Women’s Aid Advice Centre: 0808 8000 0340.
# Samaritans: 08457 909090 – The Samaritans are a nationwide charity which provides 24-hour confidential emotional support for anyone in crisis.
# National Child Protection Helpline (NSPCC): 0800 800500 – This is a free, confidential service for anyone concerned about children at risk, including children themselves. The service offers counselling, information and advice.
# Your local Social Services Emergency Duty Team.
# Your local Homeless Person’s After Hours Unit Team.
You are not alone - and these organisations will be able to help you and support you. You do not have to put up with the abuse from your parents. You do not have to marry someone you don't want to.
2007-10-17 00:39:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not sure why you dont' want to leave home? what is holding you? if you did what they wanted would that change their relationship with you? did all this start because of who you are dating? or has it always been this way? did it start when they started to see you are moving ahead in life....maybe they fear your success and are jealous and don't even realize it.......
it is hard to stop loving your family even when abusive....but i think the torment is draining you....whatever you're afraid of by being on your own couldn't be as hard as having to put up with your family......if it is harder to leave....then you need to conform to their thinking to make it a little easier on you until you are able to support yourself and you don't need them for a place to live......decide what it is that you need from them.......a home....love....support.... wishing they were different....that they might change....you'll have to accept who they are....don't expect more...that way you won't be hurt when they don't live up to your desires
But sounds like you will do just fine by planning and moving out.......
2007-10-17 00:56:42 · answer #4 · answered by willowz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the police!!!!!!!!!!! Even though they are your parents they shouldn't treat you that way and you should get this solve asap. This will give you more freedom and a more happier life where you can study and concentrate and be something that you really want to be.
2007-10-17 00:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Could I ask if you are studying?
That would help your prospects for the future in terms of independence.
Your spelling is pretty awful.
2007-10-17 00:38:34 · answer #6 · answered by JJ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are old enough to leave home.
can you lodge with friends or family?
2007-10-17 00:36:03 · answer #7 · answered by L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋