what should I do my boyfriend has had divorce papers but still not files for his divorce?

Question

I had my friend draw the divorce papers up 5 months ago free, all he has to do is file, he said that he'd do it on my birthday but that was last Tuesday and he's not done it still.

Answer 1

i was in a similar situation except it was me who didn't have the divorce final.

my bf found out 3 months into our relationship (i had told him in the beginning that i was separated but he took that as i was divorced). it upset him greatly and i made him a promise that by the next month-it would be over.

3 weeks later i brought him the signed and finalized decree.

divorces can be ugly and sometimes drawn out (especially if the other spouse want to fight about everything) but he needs to prove to you that he is TRYING to get it done. i would give him 1 more month to file the papers-if not, then tell him you're outta there.

if he doesn't care enough about you to make things right then he's not worth it sweetie

good luck!

Answer 2

He is married and therefore he is not your boyfriend because he is still legally someone's husband. A boyfriend is someone who has never married or is not married. What you are in is an adulterous affair. Tell him you won't see him again until the divorce is final and then do it.

I would venture to say you are playing right into his hands. He wants his cake and eat it, too, and the fact he has not filed the papers should be telling you volumes... he doesn't want to marry you and he doesn't want to divorce his wife.

Stay with the single guys in the future. Married men who run around on their wives can't be trusted and if he did this to his wife, he would eventually do the same thing to you if you married him.

Answer 3

divorces cost a lot of money whether you have the papers printed out for free and depinding on where you live the price goes up or down when you take then to the court house to be filed so don't get upset he may not have the money to file them yet.....

Answer 4

Ask yourself why your "boyfriend" is unwilling to finalize his divorce. Could it be that he doesn't really want to have it officially over with the ex? Could it be that he doesn't want to appear free so that you two can get hitched? Could he be enjoying the status quo, and not really wanting to change the situation?
Wake up. He's had the papers for 5 MONTHS. WHAT IS HE WAITING FOR?

Answer 5

Could it be he is clinging to the hope of getting back with his wife? I would certainly be considering this possibility if I were you! Give him a time frame to do this. If he has not done this within the time frame....move on to greener pastures quick! Don't waste time on someone who is still attached to his ex wife!

Answer 6

I answered another question about this earlier.I don't recommend "holding your breath" on this one sweetheart. I guess you never know but if he doesn't divorce her then he is not going to because he wants to stay in that partnership and everything that comes with it--including you. If he leaves her then most likely he will only be with you for awhile because what he wants if he does divorce her is......HIS FREEDOM, period. Men think very different from women- also marriage is a partnership that is more than just two people who are in love. It is in all expectation when two people decide to get married that the other one will take care of and be taken care and take care of the details of each others lives: kids,weak spots( like him making sure the car runs or her doing the doctor stuff --you know how chicken men can be). Another thing that both of them are considering,and this is a big one,"Is there a reasonable certainty that the other one will stick around." THERE ARE CERTAIN REASONS WHY TWO PEOPLE MAKE THAT KIND OF COMMITMENT TO EACH OTHER.
I am not saying that you are wrong-by any means - I dont know him.

I do know however that if he made that kind of commitment to her, and now, he is seeing you? Think about that, sweetheart.
You can pretty much bet ,in his mind, anyway, that you have already been catagorized.Men are simple creatures. They don't like when things are too complicated, even if it seems like he is going out of his way to see you,and I am sure that,
that alone makes you feel like "he must care".And i know how much you want to believe it, BUT,(I know , I know --don't you hate those -buts--it's never what we want to hear--NEVER!LOL)The truth is .....that he chose "her" for his wife and "you' for his girlfriend, and that is that. Of course , I could be wrong, there is ALWAYS, the exception to the rule,ALWAYS,BUT, ( there is that word again-darn it-I hate that,lol)chances are,I am right,and whatever he has you listed under in
his mind,right now right here, that's probably where it's at and that's that, if you know what I mean.
Like I said men think very differently then women. My opnion is.......(no offense to him personally, of course, we all have to do what we have to do), if he were going to enter into that contract with you-then he would be a little more respect for the sacredness of the holy bonds of matrimony, by being honest with her about staying or going (not necessarily about you but about he's feeling) and then either walk away or decidde to stay.Theres another reason people are willing to commit like that-because they believe that the other guy will, at the very least, be honest, should the time come to make changes, out of the TRUST that they shared if nothing else( although it rarely ends up that way).In case you are wondering -YES-I am married,BUT,(don't worry this one is going to good--for you at least, lol).I am not, however, standing against you because of that(you know-beause I am a wife-you'd almost have to assume that that is where i am coming from-but-honestly it's not and i'll tell you why).......because my husband left me about 4 months ago for another woman. So, I am not , like ,going,ha ha-I got my husband back ........because i did'nt.(tears). I am not saying that the wife always wins , so, ha ha. I want you to really hear what I am trying to tell you...o.k.? That's why I am telling you all of this. What i see from what you have put out there is that he is pretty much happy just the way things are so don't expect too much to change. I do suggest, however, that, you enjoy the love while it is there,live in and for the moments that you have together.My husband doesn't want a divorce either-I don't know wht that's about.I guess they stay safe that way-you know they can play all they want but never have to worry about that commitment thing because they are already committed.The thing with that is-BEING IN A COMMITTMENT-is an actual act, not just words that are used to confuse someone like you, (you haven't been married have you?)Who has never been married and make you believe that marriage is just two people in love because that's all he shows you when you are together, am I right? So he can keep you doing just what you are doing for him-he is misleading you. If you saw what really went on in their world you would know,but($%##lol),that does not make you stupid for believing him because if you've never been married than of course you wouldn't know. He is counting on that-what he's doing to you is wrong.And just so you don't think that I am sticking up for "Just the married ladies", I was the other woman once also, and I was also led to believe lies and promises that would NEVER come true and it HURT.Just so you know that I 've been on both sides of the fence(I hate when people come into a chatroom , or any other room bringing their personal opinions and judgemnts to the subject-it irratates me-like anyone cares what ONE persons
'PERSONAL" views might be, you know what I mean,sweetie?) So please, if you even finish reading this(it's f****** long-sorry 'bout that!), know that I am coming from the heart on this one.I care about what other people are going through, nothing more.
Have a wonderful day--women of the world UNITE-YEAHHH!!!! (i must be tired.lol......good-night -sleep-tight.)

THINK FOR YOURSELF, MAKE UP YOUR OWN MIND FOR YOU AND NOONE ELSE--
b2ru2urself2(be true to yourself too!)

Good-luck-darling -there's my e-mail address if anyone wants to ask a question.
Signing off now-Later-world-see you in the morning!


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Answer 7

well technically hes still married therefore your the other woman...... time for you to make up your mind then...... leave.... there is no possible way you and him can achieve a sense of togetherness when he still has 'baggage' on the conveyor belt (so to speak)...... leave him its not worth your time or effort to entertain him while he figures out what to do!

Answer 8

Give him a time frame to complete them and submit them or you are gone.

Answer 9

He's probably just too lazy to do it.

Why dont u fill it in for him and just get him to sign it.....lol

He's probably just overwhelmed with thethought of paper work .....lol........poor thing!

Answer 10

when he is ready he will sign them but you should leave it up to him .You could push him away if keep pushing