When I wake up in the morning and when he comes back from work, my husband puts me down.
He calls me names like
stupid
dumb
useless
f****en lady
other people have better wives
you aren't smart
ugly lady
etc etc etc
Day after day it wears me down. I don't know how to react. I just feel hurt. I can aggree that I am not a good wife. I am always tired and weak and Iv'e been sick since we married, (I got pregnant). I had one sickness after the other. Boils, Pneumonia, anemia, hypothyroid and on top of having a baby. I don't cook very much. I don't wash the clothes often enough.
I don't work and get paid. What do you all think?
2007-10-16 20:39:19 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You sound abused and depressed. See a Dr about the depression. If you want to change your life consider leaving him. If you have no where to go a womans shelter will help you even if the abuse is just verbal.
2007-10-16 20:44:41 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi sweety, having a baby can bring on postnatal depression which can go unnoticed, doctors have found that patients with depression that have health problems will have they're symptoms more accentuated by the depression, perhaps you should check this out with your doctor.
As to your husband he obviously has no respect for you, and it is time for you to put your foot down and tell him you have had enough of being treated like dirt and if he does not change you will have to give him the divorce papers, no body has the right to treat you that way, you have all the Right to be happy do something about it, in relation of the clothes and washing I have the same problem and it is not the end of the world, the baby comes first and your health the rest can wait and eventually it will be done so chill out don't worry about that for know you need to sort the problems you have with your husband first.
Thinking of you
Good luck
2007-10-16 20:54:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think if you want to stay with him, you'll have to get counseling for sure. I can feel your pain though (somewhat). I'm often sick from something or other it seems, and I can never get ahead enough to please my husband. During the day, I clean all day long as well as take care of our two children, and then go to work every evening for a couple hours as well as weekends. Then suffer from insomnia @ night. Needless to say, I'm always exhausted. But I know I love this man, so I do the absolute best I can. He now only complains while in the midst of a fight about something else, and I just simply remind of everything I do, as well as compliment him on everything he does(though very little) and he gracefully bows down from that argument :) As for the name calling however, it's unacceptable. He needs to become aware of the things he is saying to you, and needs to know how it makes you feel. Only a professional will be able to get him to see that. Good Luck
2007-10-16 20:54:47 · answer #3 · answered by TMama 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I guess the sad part is that you are actually starting to believe him now. Please don't. He is a small person with no self esteem who must come home and pick on his wife because he is not man enough to deal with his own problems and know how to solve them without using derogatory words and verbally assaulting his family. You are sick and cannot work he should not have a problem supporting you now remember for better or for worse well the worse is here he needs to get over it. Is he going to be treating your child like this or does he already?. Hopefully you are strong enough still to realize that you are somebody, you are special you are not the things he says but a beautiful person who deserves better treatment and a better life. If necessary go to a family member or a friend until you can get on your feet and feel better enough to work and support yourself and your daughter. Don't let this verbal abuse continue, because hopefully this does not escalate into physical abuse. You take care of yourself and that baby. Good luck to you.
2007-10-16 20:48:14 · answer #4 · answered by Darkchild 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband doesn't love you at all. Because if he does, he will try to help you improve yourself rather than putting you down. If you think deep in your heart, that you do not deserve such treatment from a partner, then, why not leave him? Or probably, if you still want to save your marriage then both of you should see a marriage counselor, specially your husband. How can he treat you that way??? If you do not know how to cook and wash the clothes, why not learn to? But of course, if your sickness will constrain you from doing that, you don't need to. But at least, you try and let your husband see that you are trying to be a good wife.
2007-10-16 21:14:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont feel sooo down! your not alone...i get that too from ma husband esp when his not in the mood or jus soo tired and stress ...right now you are pregnent it is normal from time to time you dont do the house work cause your not feeling that good and when your tummy gets more bigger your mood starts to change and you might will get very emotional and stress and maybe depress and its "not good" for the baby...i suggest everytime your husband says things like that just ignore him and dont take his word serious dont talk back let him talk all he wants let him get it out of his system (im sure there are some words he didnt mean it) cause its jus gonna make you more down later on, in the future and depress really not healthy for you and baby.
by the way, your husband shouldnt compare you with the other wives its not right....i mean thats why he married you and have baby with you cause he loves you the way you are ...you should talk to him about that nicely, that your his wives and he shouldnt compare you to them ...and this is you!!
Be more independent and be strong ...keep in mind your not alone esp you have a baby on the way...!
Dont let your husband put you down cause i know you dont deserve that...you have done nothing wrong...your just pregnent and your just feeling weird...you need rest....
im sure your a good wife and you will be a good mother..
Im sure your husband is just sooo stress from his work...and i think you both need a vacation together to get away from these stress!!!
if you dont do the clothes often you can always bring to the cleaners...and if you dont cook often ...theres always take out..(but its always better to cook dinner trust me your husband would love that if you do) it doesnt matter if you dont get paid ..im sure your husband is soo stress working his *** off cause his thinking of you and the baby...he wants to provide things for the family...support him....!!i think he needs that...
anyway.....dont let it bring you down....i know it hurts but relax..your pregnent so its normal whatever your feeling now or being lazy...
Put a smile on your face each day!!
2007-10-16 21:03:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went interior the process the comparable element and it became right into a unfavorable journey for me being as though I had my boy for 13 years, I too took it with no attention yet I knew that the previous guy became into in soreness, His call became into Goodboy and that i had him yet down this bypass August, I set up a memorial on the internet internet site Immortal Pets, and seen each and all of the best situations I had with my boy. So take an prolonged deep breath and shop some %. around to remind you that he extremely isn't long gone he will consistently be with you already know count number what.
2016-10-07 02:12:10 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
success is the best revenge.. what you should do is ignore him and focus on you.. if you feel that your not going in the right direction then you should work on that... get to the doctor and make your self better.. start taking something to get some more energy.. go out there and get your self a part time job.. start cleaning up the house more often and what ever u do just ignore your husbands rude comments.. apply for financial aid and take some college courses online or at a school part time.. just get motivated and turn your life around.. and if he is still rude then just leave his *** hanging while you are looking up in the world and he will be dumbfounded... take care and good luck
2007-10-16 20:45:49 · answer #8 · answered by SecretSquirrel 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason for him to treat you like that or for you to take it. He is not a good husband either. Working has nothing to do with it. If you stay home with the baby and take care of the house then that is your job. I don't think that I could take that from anyone. He is beating you down and that is not good. You do not say how long that you have put up with it. If he will not stop to save your sanity I would leave. Good luck.
2007-10-16 20:51:00 · answer #9 · answered by kim h 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dump this loser! Is this what you want your child to think about marriage? You are modeling the impression your child will think is normal. Your husband is toxic and abusive. How long will it be before the put downs become something worse.I have seen this often enough to know it is not uncommon for a male who puts his wife down like this to become physically abusive. Leave him and find a wonderful life for you and your little one. Anyone would be depressed in your shoes. You will feel better when you get this poison apple out of your life! Trust me and run now!
2007-10-16 21:15:26 · answer #10 · answered by SHOCKWAVE 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋