ok my husband and i are seperating and going thru a divorce,he's been begging me to stay with him but i feel it's time for me to move on after 13 years now he's turned mean cause i won't take him back he now calls me fat and even say's my vgina is big,when all these years he's had no complaint's but now he's saying horrible things because he knows i'm interested in someone else,him saying all this is making me wonder if it's true,i'm even looking into vaginal tightening surgery's.i just don't understand during our marriage he alway's was satisfied he alway's said i was perfect now that i don't do it with him anymore and want to possibly do it with someone else he shoots my self esteem down should i look into surgery before i have sex with the new guy?
2007-10-16 19:28:45 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
His feelings have been hurt and now he wants you to hurt. Ignore him.
2007-10-16 19:32:18 · answer #1 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations!!! He's done to you, just what he set out to do. That's making you doubt yourself. Don't you think, if you were all that big, all that fat, that he would not want you. He may not even want you back for love anyway, he want you back, because you have someone else. He thinks that if he knock you down, then you won't be with the other man. The next time he says that your vagina is too big, tell him it's just the right size, it was he that was too small. Then ask him to change his name to tiny Tim. Tell him as far as your weight is concern, tell him that ... you get no complaints from your man and you can not help if he wasn't man enough to hold on to you. I swear I hate a bully. If they don't get you like they want you, then they resort to name calling. I am the Queen of snappy come backs. Don't you allow anyone to cut on you, to fix something that you know in your heart, is alright. He knows that it is alright too. If you want to make him feel the same way about himself tell him that he need to invest in some type of pill that would make him bigger and give him more endurance. Tell him in a voice that is low and calm. Tell him that he might want to take care of the funny body order that he have also. Girl have fun with your new guy and don't look back.
2007-10-16 19:45:32 · answer #2 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH MY GOODNESS! DON'T YOU DARE!!!
Everyone gets older, everyone has things that are not the same as they were when they were 20! If the guy you are seeing right now likes you for who you are, why are you even thinking this. Your husband (soon to be ex) knows that what he told you was going to drive you crazy, why are you letting him get to you?? Think about it this way, if you were THAT BAD, then why would he be mad that you were leaving and with someone else? Common now!!
The most beautiful thing about a woman is confidence, Flaunt it girl! Put that chin up and turn a deaf ear to his comments. Let him say what he wants, you are a amazing woman who obviously has been through a lot! That counts for something.
He is jealous you moved on, and he is saying anything that will bother you, don't give him the satisfaction of letting it get to you.
Tell him off, and don't talk to him anymore unless you have to. If he starts talking to you like that again, then just tell him to leave, that you will NOT be treated that way anymore, you are better than that. And until he is willing to be civilized with you that you will not talk to him..
Good luck Hun! Keep your head up! He is a a**hole!
2007-10-16 19:39:02 · answer #3 · answered by angelalee76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not listen to him. He is trying to hurt you. He is being cruel and childish. You would know from having sex with him before if you were too big. My guess is that you are fine. If it makes you feel any better do some keigel exercises. That is were you tighten up like you are urinating and stop. Try it when you go to the bathroom and you will know what I mean. You can do these anywhere at any time. They tighten up the walls of the vagina. Don't let him ruin your self esteem or make you feel bad. I would never go back to him now. Walk away and don't look back. Good luck to you.
2007-10-16 20:43:34 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you clear up issues with this marriage before even considering engaging in a new relationship. Getting a divorce might be the right decision. Are there children involved? Both you and their father might consider how your behaviors are impacting them. He sounds abusive. And your self-esteem sounds bankrupt. Another guy will not improve that...neither will vagina surgery. And if you're with someone who believes that quality sex is about the size of the vagina...well, you deserve a better partner who understands women...and there are a lot of guys out there. If children are involved, they deserve to have two parents in their lives. And they should not have to manage two hostile parents who are self-involved and bent on making each other misable. There's more to consider here than the size of your vagina and having sex with a new guy.
2007-10-16 19:48:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talking from somebody who has been there? Its a soreness that basically some individuals be attentive to of. Time is your appropriate chum. Get out, tension your self to be with pals, family contributors. over the years, you will comprehend what became into incorrect, supply up idealizing her, see her for the guy she grew to grow to be after the chop up, and while you're fortunate, be waiting to verify her as a chum. Hun, divorce is often bitter and stressful, no count how issues are going between the legal experts. Its an end of a few thing you dreamed of. Its organic to wreck, sting, cry, beat the partitions up, and you will or have. placed a time shrink on how long you will enable your self to wallow. as quickly as its over, circulate ON. a great number of girls human beings available who could rather like thus far you, yet do no longer tension it. Time, and a stable bottle of scotch. worked for me as quickly as I divorced my husband. Am I over it after 10 years? easily? No. It gets greater useful.
2016-10-09 09:39:54 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to break you down, and you are letting him do it. Why do you think that he wants you back? Do you actually think that it is because you are fat and have a big ******? No!!! He is just saying that to make you feel insecure!!
Next time he insults you like that, tell him that you had to fake every orga#m when you had sex. Tell him that if his di#k was big enough, that your ****** would not seem so large to him.
Then file for the divorce and take his butt for everything that you can get. This man is an a##hole!!! A real man would not treat you like that, certainly not one that loved you.
2007-10-16 19:36:19 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds desperate and knows how to push your buttons...and you are just falling into it like butter on- toast.
Understand that you and only you are responsible for your own self esteem....
It's not others that give you self-esteem..you define yourself with goals and stuff you have accomplished. Others can affect your self concept with what they say...but its up to you to say nope...i won't let them!
You can't control what horrible put downs your soon to be ex...says..but you can control how you react to it... You control your own thinking and you can move on toward a rewarding, happy, healthy relationship.
Focus on the future and all the things that can be...don't focus on stuff that was. Wasting your energy in this negative self talk is destructive and can become a barrier for growth.
So before you start booking operations based on what others tell you...start talking positively to yourself...
Love yourself..hug yourself..you are perfect for you, unique and worthy. Those that are worthy of your love will love you for you as you are!
2007-10-16 19:47:12 · answer #8 · answered by Say 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard of the sour grapes quote.That is his problem ,i am quite sure that you are fine just the way god made you.Your husband is jealous lift your head up high and stay strong dont let him belittle you.Just think that if you ever believed what he said you would be beneath him.And sister you are going to be very happy so ignore himand his nonsense.
2007-10-16 19:35:00 · answer #9 · answered by tt_hot_gyal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No way!! You shouldn't have surgery. I'm sure your fine. About the divorce. I can't comment on that because quiet frankly. I don't know you on a personal level...
2007-10-16 19:33:49 · answer #10 · answered by Element 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your soon to be ex husband is just getting back at you...since you've decided not to get back with him...he is now attacking your self-confidence and any chance of you being happy again....he is just being bitter and nasty....he is just sour-graping...don't mind him...dont let him ruin your chance of being happy...if you want to make improvements on yourself...do so because you want to look good and not because you are confirming the criticisms made by your husband...dont give him the satisfaction that he has affected you with his meanness...
2007-10-16 19:35:51 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋