I met my boyfriend 3yrs ago. I was not interested, but be pursued me. I knew that he was married and that his wife was pregnant with his second daughter. We saw each other briefly before I ended it. About a year later, i ended a bad relationship, and out of lonliness I initiated the beginning of out current relationship. We have been together for about a 1.5 yrs. We got an apt and he moved out 8 months ago. I am 5 mnths prengant and now he says he feels like he is leaving one family for another. He wanted this baby, and now he is unsure. He has a hard time making decisions in his personal life. But he has always told me he never was in love with her, and that he he felt guilty cuz she was older and waited for the proposal for years. He claimed he felt obligated to marry her. Now he only wants to go back, because of the kids. He says he still loves me...Am i wasting my time, should i leave...? He says he want to take care of me and the baby, but i dont know what to do...
2007-10-16 19:15:15 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is a fool born every minute, and your minute seems to be one of them. Why in the world would you want a man who so eagerly cheats, casts off a wife and children to be with another woman? Do you really think that if he did leave his wife and kids, he wouldn't cheat on you? Don't be a fool! Gal, run, don't walk to the nearest exit, stop only long enough to make arrangements for a lawyer for child support should you have this baby. He needs to know that he is going to pay child support whether he wants to or not! Love and peace, Goldwing
2007-10-16 19:22:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you and your boyfriend do not have a perfect relationship 99% of the time if the cops have been called twice in so short of time. I can tell you that my fiance and I can fight and argue and sometimes drive each other nuts, but it's never gotten to the point where police have to be called, and he has never laid a hand on me or even threatened me in any way. You also make this very confusing. In some part of your post it sounds like you have the restraining order on him, then in other parts it sounds like he has the restraining order on you. So, who has a restraining order against who? And why would you want to be with a man that physically abuses you? There really is nothing you can do to "make" him give your relationship another chance. He either will be there for you and the baby or he won't be. I'm not really sure what to tell you as you seem to contradict yourself a few times in your question. But I can tell you that even if you do not put his name on the birth certificate, he can have a paternity test ordered on your baby and when it turns out that he is the father he will have some rights, be it supervised visitation or otherwise.
2016-05-23 03:02:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run like hell! This loser doesn't know the meaning of the word commitment. He ran out on her because she was laying a new responsibility on him. Now you are doing that and he feels like he might as well be with her, because he loves her in his selfish, selfish way. See, the attraction to you was that you were carefree and he wants to be. Now he has you committed to raising his child, he is bored with you too. I bet he has a whole she chased me, she practically made me leave my wife story about you.
Immediately call your state attorney general and get this dude paying child support asap. Shame on you for going after another woman's husband and another's child father. Shame on you for the seven months you two were "together" before he moved out, meaning he was still with his wife and he was sneaking around cheating with you. What the hell did you expect? It was gonna be better for you, because you are better than her? You aren't older, you aren't all those things he said she was? Yeah right!
The best thing you could do, really, is put that baby up for adoption. neither of you would make decent parents and that way you can get back to your treacherous ways without a little anchor.
2007-10-16 20:03:23 · answer #3 · answered by RainbowSeer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon, this man clearly communicated to you who he was from the beginning. He's unable to commit! And he's like a kid in a candy store wanting everything. Someone has to get out of "what I want mode" and take responsibility for the children. You have a baby on the way...and you're single. That's a handful in anyone's book. Tell this guy to grow up and stop acting like a pitiful victim. He has mouths to feed. Might I also suggest you seek help in gaining insight on why you don't believe you deserve better than this. This guy sounds like lousy relationship or father material!
2007-10-16 20:33:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the reason why people should get married before they have children.
Having said that, I can't believe that you are falling for this bull. Do you mean to tell me that he is so dedicated to his children, that YOURS does not matter??!!! What about a home for your child? He is full of it. He is doing the same thing again. Running from his responsibilites. I'll bet he has a new gf with NO KIDS very shortly. Both you and his wife will be raising the children by yourselves!!!
Quit being so naive. A married guy that is cheating on his wife with you, will cheat on you too!!!
2007-10-16 19:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in life we get many moments when we are at cross roads and that is the time we have to be careful to choose which path to choose. If make mistake at that moment, we suffer. We allow our weaknesses and passions to affect our decisions which the cause of wrong decisions taken. When you were lonely, you made a hasty decision and got into this mess. Now you at cross roads again and you should be s Strong to overcome passions and decide. In y opinion, the person promised you a secured life and now he betrays you and if he makes any promise now, there are chances that he will break them. He seems to b e a very weak person. You should in my opinion, leave him and wait for somebody really very good and certainly he should not be a married man.
2007-10-16 19:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by ashok 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What an awful situation! I'm sure you love him and are extremely hurt by him. You don't want him to stay with you if you know it will be out of obligation. Just like he is doing with his ex-wife. I'm sure the ex is getting some kind of satisfaction out it too! (She probably feels like she is "winning.")
Make it easy for him. Let her have the loser! If making him relinquish his rights to your child will hurt him, do it. There are lots of men out there with no problem raising or legally adopting a child. I was one of them. Blank father on my birth certificate until my mom married when I was about 3 years old. He legally adopted me and was put on my birth certificate. No regrets!
Get this headache out of your life once and for all. No more calls. Nothing! Let him live in the hole he has dug.
Whatever road you DECIDE to take, make your decision and stand by it. Don't flip-flop back and forth. There is no right answer except the one you choose and live by!
Then there's the choice to burn him and take him for all he's got! Is that what you want this miracle baby to be about? Sounds hurtful and more heartache.
2007-10-16 19:38:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make the decision for him...dump him. He is another woman's husband and you can do far better without him. By all means he should support this child you are carrying. Let the state child protective services department go after him for support so you don't have to make it personal. He is a loser. Do not make another mistake and let him ruin the life of your baby too.
2007-10-16 19:38:56 · answer #8 · answered by Kathryn 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
u made a HUGE MISTAKE being with him in the place and u should have left him long time ago before this got worse. why dont u let him think what he wants in his life and he doesnot know what he wants. if he didnt want to marry her and he should have stand for himself and he could have support the baby of the older gal's. what was he thinking? if he doesnot love her,he must leav or make up his mind for heaven's sake. just be patient with him and if he wants to support the kid of urs let him but dont let him confuse u with his feelings good luck
2007-10-17 02:20:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u love the bf, u must open minded to accept it what he want to do. U should know this will happen one day cause u last time u already know he have wife and children.
But if u cant accept it , so u must leave him with open minded and bring up your baby with a happy life.
God always help people who help them self.
Believe in yourself. What to do next?
2007-10-16 19:28:09 · answer #10 · answered by LEONG S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋