we are in the same youth group at church...and i dont know how to tell her without breaking her heart that she is not my type.
2007-10-16 18:54:05 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
The truth shall set you free!
2007-10-16 19:15:46 · answer #1 · answered by none 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
However you do it to her, be sure to practice it in the mirror and put yourself in her position of HEARING the words that you are about to say to her. Tell her in such a way that YOU would want to be told those SAME words by some smoking hot woman someday who 'just isn't into you'.
Would you want this woman to tell you to 'just get lost!'. I doubt it. Would you want her to drag it out for a long time because she didn't want to hurt your feelings and she didn't know how else to let you down? I doubt that too. There's no real easy way when you think that someone you're not attracted to has a big crush on you but you have to take some action and be as nice as possible in your delivery because what goes around comes around and most likely someday some incredible woman will need to do the same to you. (Unless by 'not your type' you meant that you were attracted to men, in which case, just be honest, I mean how could she possibly compete with a male?)
Is this girl not your type physically or emotionally? Are you absolutely positive that there is no way in the world you could ever be with her no matter what? Then maybe you could tell her that you are attracted to her on a friend basis only and that you know you are not in love with her. Even that sounds bad. There's just no easy way.
I keep trying to think back when I had boys after me that I didn't want to be after me and I can't recall what really worked to get off the hook except avoidance. Is there any way you could change church's? Does she know where you live?
Maybe the best thing to do is to give her the speach then switch churches, maybe just for 6 months or so. OR, try to see if any of your friends like her and see if you can hook them up! If you can reset her sights onto a new love interest, that would be the easiest way out. Maybe then you will feel jealous that she no longer has a crush on you then maybe you will think she may have been your type....
2007-10-16 20:11:33 · answer #2 · answered by joanie m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"You know we have some common interests but we also have some things we see differently ( or things that the other doesn't really like). This doesn't make either one of us worse than the other or better. Just different than the other. I would like to continue our friendship. Let's remain friends and leave it at that, OK?"
It doesn't seem so now, but you're a blip in her future history. Youth is resilient. Emotions are fleeting at the teen age. You are thoughtful to consider her feelings. Remember, though they are not your responsibily. Her emotions are HERS. Not yours. Don't feel guilty. Just be firm so you will skip any drama.
2007-10-16 20:04:38 · answer #3 · answered by LELAND 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just calmly sit down with this young lady
and explain:
You are not my type,
we don't share the same interests,
I don't need you to change,
I appreciate the flattery,
but I don't feel that way about you
.The end.
It's simple and straight to the point.
She may cry a bit, but she will get over it.
We all do
.I wish my first crush would have
explained this clearly to me,
instead of throwing rocks at me.
2007-10-16 19:01:27 · answer #4 · answered by ♫ Bubastes, Cat Goddess♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know that you are her type? Just casually talk about some girl that you think is pretty to spare her feelings. If she doesnt get it then tell her how you like her as a friend and don't give her mixed signals
2007-10-16 18:57:17 · answer #5 · answered by kinks 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's going to be upset no matter how you tell her. I suggest that telling her directly that she isn't your type is the best way. Don't text, phone, email or do it in an indirect way and be caring about it. Accept that she may cry or even become angry and don't go back on your decision.
2007-10-16 18:59:51 · answer #6 · answered by Deb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a conversation with her about the type of the girls you like: just the opposite. She is going to realize that you are not his type either.
2007-10-16 18:58:45 · answer #7 · answered by neligl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is very sweet that you are concerned but get over yourself! You will not "break her heart".... she will most likely be disappointed depending on how much she likes you, but she will get over it. Please just have the guts to be honest with her. It really is better for us in the long run.
2007-10-16 18:57:51 · answer #8 · answered by RockabillyBanana 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just say its not working and you not looking for relationship or just say youd be better off without her... or not.
Tell her that shes not your type and can u stl b friends?
2007-10-16 18:58:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be nice man... Just pray for the Lord to help you... Instead try to get sometime with the girl and ask her what she really thinks about you... Do like a chit-chat thingy.......But mostly ask the Lord to help...
2007-10-16 18:58:08 · answer #10 · answered by Splex 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋