Daughter wants new boyfriend to move in cuz he doesn't get along with his parents. They were his foster parents, then adopted him and his sister when little. He is 17 and thinks he can do what he wants. They've been together a month and he thinks they should get married! Talking to her is next to impossible. Please help..................
2007-10-16 18:23:53 · 15 answers · asked by Jeanie B 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You are the Parent you don't really need us to tell to say NO but I am sure you need us to give you some moral support. well 1 month, no way could she be able to handle the pressure of the hormones under the same roof, 15 and 17, lot of hormones........2 years is not much after you are both over 18 but in a year she will be "jailbait" and he will be Statutory rape..........
he doesn't get along at home because of rules, how would he get along with your rules, you do have them or you wouldn't be trying to talk sense to your daughter.... his influence on her is not making life easier on you already......
How does he propose to support a wife, theoretically because you aren't going to let it get that far or you wouldn't be asking for help.......
I know this young man has had some bad breaks in life but it sounds like he was one of the luckier people that get into the foster care system. Has he ever had counseling?? Foster care had to have been because of something traumatic, has the initial trauma ever been addressed. I know he wants LOVE, but his hormones are also raging and a 15 yr old is not where he should be turning for stability and love.....not saying that they should never see each other again just need to slow down a lot and he needs to make things right at home before he goes anywhere....is he in school. If not does he have a GED. If we weren't in a war I would suggest join the military and see the world....
I just re read the question, did I read correct, this is her FIRST boyfriend.....has she been a good kid so far?? is this something new being impossible to talk to....does she have any other trusted adult, trusted by you and by her, that she can talk to about how she can help him with out moving him in. Sometimes Mom is the last place they want to hear stuff from even if they know it is true.....
oh gosh....I never thought I would be so glad to be to old to have this stuff still happening to me.....It is different with grand kids you still worry and fret but for most of us the Mom and Dad still make the final decision. One thing I can say for sure is you are not alone, and if you need it community support is out there to help you. Yahoo or google "Tough Love" and you will find oodles of for real hands on places for you to get help, advice, support systems the works, Good Luck Mom and stick to your guns. You are right........
2007-10-16 19:04:38 · answer #1 · answered by Judy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who runs the house, pays the bills? Seems like the Mom should be doing these things. Not to be mean, but your fifteen year old should not be dating a guy that is nearly an adult.
No way on Gods green earth should you be inviting this boyfriend into your home. You know what will happen next, they have been together a month and he thinks they should get married.
Of course he doesn't get along with his parents, he is trying to convince your daughter how much he needs her in order to get her to have sex with him. Let's just come right out and say it.
You need to talk to his parents, they are responsible for him until he is eighteen, even if he is saying he doesn't get along with them. He probably doesn't get along with them because they have rules and regulations and he figures if he gets married, he is a big man and in charge of himself.
Straighten up and be the Adult Mom, or you will be a grandma before your daughter is sixteen. If his parents won't help, you need to go to the police and see if you can get a restraining order sworn out against him.
Good luck, I hope everything works out for you and your daughter.
2007-10-16 19:01:22 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer is appearently very easy, but in fact it is not so easy cause we're talking about a 15 years old girl. If you want to get along with her, you should make her understand why it is not right what she wants. Of course you will say no, no he can't move here. It would be a great idea though if you could have the 2 of them under close observation for a while to see what's in their mind
2007-10-16 22:07:44 · answer #3 · answered by larissa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't even let my 15 year old daugher have a 17 year old boyfriend, much less think about letting him move in! You need to talk to him parents and let them know what is going on with him, and let their family work out their own problems. Then you need to not allow your daughter to see this boy anymore because he is putting really bad ideas in her head.
2007-10-16 18:39:17 · answer #4 · answered by missbeans 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would never allow my 15 year old daughter to move her 17 year old boyfriend into my home. You are just asking to become a grandmother if you do. Maybe you should speak to the boy alone, make sure everything is right at home. (No abuse, etc..) If his parents are not abusing him, then he needs to stay there. I would also put a stop on their relationship, as it sounds like he isn't a good influence on your daughter either. Good luck!
2007-10-16 18:28:06 · answer #5 · answered by Nikki in PA 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
You are the mother, and the head of that household. What you says go. If you tell her that he can't move in, that's the end of it. Tell her that she had to wait until she's 18 to get married or go and move in with him. The time for talking to her is over, the time for telling her what is up, is right now.
2007-10-16 19:01:17 · answer #6 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to put your foot down! Maybe you can talk to this guy and tell him that if he really loves your daughter then he would make things work with his family so that he can finish school (her as well) and work on bettering his future so that he can provide the best future for him and your daughter financially and mentally.
2007-10-16 18:50:06 · answer #7 · answered by TM25 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
they've been going out for a month? she's 15 this will probably be over in a few more weeks
2007-10-16 23:51:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
do not budge on this matter.... she wil also assume that you are fine with them having sex also if they live under the same roof.
plus, they've only been together for a month! this will probably blow over.
2007-10-17 05:29:56 · answer #9 · answered by Rossy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend's mother married at 15 and she's been happily married for 27yrs, but that was back then...
2007-10-17 22:18:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋