my wife and i have an annual fight, and i need to know what the world thinks. (TD=Thanksgiving Day)
wife's family tradition:
TD - dinner at noon
day after TD - my wife and her mother go shopping, getting up at 3 or 4am. this can last from 12:00pm to 5:00pm, in which a nap ensues.
so here is the deal. i have ceded that we will keep her TD tradition because her family is unwilling to budge/compromise at all.
X-Mas is handled. We both compromise X-Mas Day every other year.
what do we do about thanksgiving? i say that my family should be allowed to have it at noon on the day after, and she says that is unfair bc she already has an established tradition on that day. i think it is only fair that if i give in for TD, she should do the same for the day after. My bro is also married, and we have to work with his family too.
I think I'm compromising more. What do you think? If I am willing to give her whatever she wants on 1 day, is it unfair to ask that from her on the next?
2007-10-16 18:22:15 · 9 answers · asked by cornercuttin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This would be the time to start a new tradition of your own. You and your wife should stay home for TD and X-mas and if other parties would like to attend your "dinner", they can do so.
When my wife and I married, our families were too spread out to go visiting so we just stayed home and cooked. If any of friends were by themselves, they were welcome as well. We can not be the portrait that Norman Rockwell painted, we all would like to. On Christmas Day, same thing. As long as we see our friends and family between the holidays, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day is ours alone. I don't go anywhere during those two days.
2007-10-20 16:02:12 · answer #1 · answered by zdude_4u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very Clear that your wife is SELFISH... she should be willing to compromise... that is what marriage is about.... what is it with shopping the day after with women???? I know it is suppose to be the biggest shopping day of the year but give me a break that is a tradition that hardly compares with being with family... you gave her her own way about TD at noon with her family so what is she trying to tell you.... her family is special and yours means nothing? I'd tell her that if she doesn't want to see your family then hers doesn't need to bother coming to your house to eat and slop on TD ... end of story
2007-10-17 01:33:51 · answer #2 · answered by DavidV 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is a little unfair. I understand your position, but you have to remember, the day after Thanksgiving is the biggest shopping day of the year and it is the day you get the best savings. Most people are religious about shopping on this day. Try to be understanding.
2007-10-17 01:34:14 · answer #3 · answered by lovely2u22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend and I solved the TD problem last year. Because all his siblings and him have spouses (they consider me a spouse), they all go to the spouses family's houses, and then on Saturday, we all get together for another TD. Ask for Saturday as TD for your family. I think that is reasonable.
2007-10-17 01:30:18 · answer #4 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She cant monopolize BOTH days.I suggest doing the same thing for TD as you do for Christmas. Alternate the TD days and let her have the day after for shopping. ( every year). :) It is the super-bowl of shopping days :)
2007-10-17 10:21:57 · answer #5 · answered by undone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Makes more sense to me that you do her Thanksgiving thing yearly, and you do Christmas with your family annually...why are you shortchanging your family? Or perhaps your family doesn't feel so shortchanged if she doesn't want to be around them! Hmmmmm In either case, it is not fair to ask your family to change the traditional Thanksgiving to Friday...forget that one! Peace and love, Goldwing
2007-10-17 02:16:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family one day, her family the other. Flip a coin if you need to and tell her to grow up- life is about compromise!
2007-10-17 01:31:09 · answer #7 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel your pain,,,but apparently you dont get what the day after thanksgiving sales do to people.
2007-10-17 01:42:27 · answer #8 · answered by vanessa c 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you can start next year and tell her just like x-mas it will be every other year. thats only fair.
2007-10-17 01:42:48 · answer #9 · answered by maree2007hamill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋