How do you cope? I am republican, but I mostly just do a quick study of the candidates before an election. Otherwise, I don't worry about politics. My hubby is a liberal extremist and prays to see the day all republican politicians are dead or in jail. He watches liberal extremists on tv. He listens to them on the radio. He buys their books. He hounds me about my political beliefs. I'm on edge all the time and don't know what to do anymore. He is otherwise a great guy and I love him immensely, but he's about to drive me crazy and I can't get it through his thick head that he needs to stop. Anybody have any suggestions?
2007-10-16 17:33:49 · 15 answers · asked by Shubunkin 4 in Politics & Government ➔ Politics
My wife and I had that problem, finally, after all the numerous fights we just stopped talking about politics, I know how she feels and she knows how I feel. The best advice I can give you is to not discuss politics. I pitty you for having to put up with his liberal ways, but also envy you for being able to tolerate as long as you have.
2007-10-16 19:21:32 · answer #1 · answered by Rocman 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm conservative and my wife is liberal. Neither one of us is extreme or particularly partisan, but I'm much more interested in politics than she is. We respect each other's opinion, but like I said we're not extreme one way or the other. If your husband sits there on the edge of his seat and prays for the death of all Republicans, it sounds like his problem is not so much a political interest as a political obsession.
I don't hound my wife about her beliefs. We have short occasional debates but never mean spirited. It's actually kind of interesting how we end up finding out we really want the same things and just have different ways we would like to go about getting there.
As for the obsession, try to get him out of the house to do something productive, and tell him in a nice way that he's only hurting himself when he gets fixated on these things over which he has no control. Also he's going to have to wake up and realize at some point he has to respect your views..... I mean he did marry you, he should at least be able to respect you.
2007-10-16 17:47:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I am not married to my boyfriend (yes, we live together honorably, if you know what I mean), and technically he is no longer a republican, but for several years of our relationship, he was one and we went through this.
First of all, it might help if you did stop referring to him and his sources as "extremists" just as it would be very good for him to stop voicing his hope that all republican politicians land in jail or die.
I would suggest that you both read a book by Thich Nath Hanh (though its title and its subject is anger, and ways to deal with it, it really does provide a great map for married couples to deal with their conflicts). Sit down, agree that you are both making each other miserable. Agree that you will take turns, one will breathe deeply and listen while the other talks (without interrupting) and shares their pain, issues, and side of the story...and then the next night repreat the process while the other listens and the other talks in the same way.
Also, you might agree to swap sources and truly investigate the ideas of the other. You might find some good conservative books and commentators to provide him (a couple) and you might check out some Palast and Franken, or a couple of his favorite sources.
Both of you read each others material honestly and with an open mind. Both of you agree that when you are done reading, BEFORE you talk about what you didn't like in the material you read and what you didn't agree with, you talk about the material that you liked, agreed with, or saw validity in.
You don't have to always agree, and if you can find your common points, and if you can find what you don't agree on and try not to make too much of an issue out of it (that goes for him equally) hopefully you guys can live together without being at each others' political throats!
2007-10-16 17:46:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
My Advice: Listen to your husband who is passionate in what he believes and hear him out. You label him as an "extremist" and state he listens to "Liberal Extremist" on radio and tv. I'm a retired Progressive and have lots of time to listen to the radio and watch lots of tv. I don't know of any "Liberal Extremist" that have radio and tv shows.
There are a few Liberal programs but I wouldn't consider them "extremist".
Your husband probably "hounds" you because he is interested and curious about how you feel or where you stand on many important issues.
If possible, take the time and seriously discuss your differences. Make a special time to do this--if need be.
You state that you are a Republican but if you don't follow the party issues and only do a "quick study" before voting then you are a Republican in name only.
If you do not worry about Politics, then you are not concerned where Our Country is headed and if you have children (or not) you should be.....because your husband truly and sincerely is.
You should consider yourself fortunate that your husband is intelligent, educated and concerned about this great nation to even care.
He could be off with his buddies in a bar or whatever......so don't take him lightly or for granted.
You need to put this entire scenerio into perspective.
Oh....almost forgot " he prays to see the day all republicans are dead" ??? I doubt it...I really doubt that to be true.
2007-10-16 19:02:36 · answer #4 · answered by krissyderic 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
No but I can sympathize. I once dated a radical liberal and she related everything in life to politics and could never stop. I had to give her walking papers and show her the door.
No, Im not suggesting you do that.
My only thought is that as your husband he should value your opinion regardless if he agrees or not. I dont always agree with my wife but I know shes one of the smartest people that Ive ever met and if she feels strongly about something, I respect her right to feel that way. She gets the hint if I dont want to hear it when I head to the garage (AKA: cave) and do guy stuff.
2007-10-16 17:47:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I was engaged to a republican (I'm democrat). After several heated arguments we agreed to disagree & not bring the subject up. If your husband cannot agree to keeping his political opinions to himself & doesn't respect the fact that you have a right to yours, I would recommend some marriage counseling. You'd probably have to see someone once or twice to resolve the issue. If it can't be resolved, your counselor will help you learn how to deal with it (or not).
2007-10-16 18:08:31 · answer #6 · answered by Judith 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
how about common law marriages
tell him to listen to this pod cast , no really its a independent named Dan Carlin and it just might help you both find some common ground
http://www.dancarlin.com/
it has a great link to some history shows also.
or try separate vacations from time to time , that can help also
2007-10-16 18:46:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what my husband does and REFUSE any discussion of politics. EVER. You are in a non-defensible political position and you will never win a discussion, so it is best to not try.
2007-10-16 17:40:07 · answer #8 · answered by oohhbother 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
i myself doubt i'd desire to...it might remember how "strongly" opposite he become...yet i think of we'd in all probability have very distinctive values and extremely distinctive worldviews...we'd combat all the time and in all probability would no longer likely like one yet another before everything.
2016-12-29 14:22:33 · answer #9 · answered by humphries 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the issues in your marriage are far deeper tha political viewpoints
you husband has a control issue and is using politics as a weapon
I recommend either marriage counseling or seperation before his behavior escalates
2007-10-16 19:06:52 · answer #10 · answered by 1 free American 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋