Scared of sex?

Question

Im 19 years old and im about to get married ( don't give me advice on the marriage part, thanks ) I've never had sex and every one says that it hurts the first time.
I don't know what to do. My pain tollerance is like a -5. I hate pain. I've always told myself that I could live a life without sex. What do I do??
I don't use tampons or anything so nothing has ever been up there...

Answer 1

Just be really relaxed. A glass of wine can help. You don't even have to have sex the very first night. If you have a while for your honeymoon, go by degrees over a few days, or even a week. Try other physical contact, like massaging, bathing together. You can ask him to use his finger first, to get you used to the sensation of something there. The first time doesn't have to hurt that much. Make sure you are really feeling aroused and wet before doing anything. Otherwise, it can cause problems and further fear. Fear makes you tense. I once met a couple where the wife wouldn't let hubby touch her anymore because he just did it when she wasn't ready and made it a really bad experience for her. They both didn't know what they were doing. So, educate yourself to take away fear of the unknown. Then just go with the flow. Talk a lot with hubby, too. He may feel he needs to perform the first night, but maybe just as nervous as you are.

Answer 2

I am not a woman, so I can't tell you about the pain.

My advise to make things easier / better. relax. Don't be so up-tight. Sex is not some magical thing. Just about everyone has done it. I can't do magic tricks, but I have had sex.

I do not mean to be crude, but Do you masturbate? If not, start. It will help you get used to being open down there. Experiment with your body, it will help you lose the fears of someone else doing it.

Like I said, I do not know about the pain for a woman on the first time, but I do know things hurt less when you are relaxed. No matter how the pain comes.

Hope this helps and you're next question is in a couple of year's asking how you can get you husband to get more freaky in bed.

Answer 3

So you have a pic of a guy in your avatar, still I saw one of your questions before and you claim to be a black woman dating a white guy… but the pic is of a black guy, or at least it looks like. Sorry but there is something wrong here.

Anyways, for a guy, 99.9999% of the time will not hurt. Is more about how tight she is to actually make him feel uncomfortable.

For a girl, it depends, many girls feel some pain the first time because of the hymen braking. Others have it open enough that it doesn’t even brake. And also you have the possibility of he being small and she being big (I mean down there) so he doesn’t get to hurt her at all.

As I said, it all depends. If you know you are tight down there, and you know also that he is big, you might want to have some “pre-sessions” with him, and maybe use your fingers or his to “break it up”. This is good cause then you guys can actually have sex later on all the way and be able to enjoy it better without worrying about pain.

Answer 4

Make sure your husband knows your fears! He needs to take it slowly, make sure there is plenty of foreplay so you are feeling really good, use lubricant if needed before he enters you.
It hurt a bit, but more like a stretching pain and nothing you can't handle! If he takes it slow, enters and then pauses before moving so you get used to the feeling, it is better.
The little bit of pain involved with the first time is well worth the pleasure you will give each other as time goes on!
Congratulations!

Answer 5

I was a virgin when I too got married. When you get all hot and heavy you don't think about the pain. Tell him it is your first time and have him be gentle. Try touching but wait. Don't have your moment yet let him slide inside you gently. Do this as much as possible with him until there is no pain. Also, since you are such a young bride remember to be on the pill or you will be a young mommy too. Enjoy.

Answer 6

Hello, I hope I could help at least a little. OK some people do say it hurts others says a little.. My advice to you would be take it very slow.. dont rush into things quickly.. let your future husband know just how you feel.. Then both of you can discuss ways for you to feel more comfortable.. And to help you feel more relaxed.. Making love should be a special time not a hurting time. Talk it out.. And everything will work out fine.

Answer 7

Find a way to relax, and hopefully your partner can give you enough enjoyment in the beginning to keep your mind off the brief pain. Try lube for the first time so there is no worries about more pain then necessary. Sometimes if you are too stressed your womenly juices cannot work properly. Relax and trust your husband

Answer 8

Yes it is painful but it differs from person to person so don't let you person's experience affect you. Just make sure the person who is marrying you takes it easy and slowly slides in after a while it wont hurt. Good luck and god bless you and your relationship it's sad that these days over 50% of marriages end in divorce.

Answer 9

Well when I had gotten married for the first time, we divorced 12 years later, he was abusive, I was 19 ... So I will NOT say anything about it!

Its a scary thing, just remember take your time, do not be afraid to tell him, it hurts, it might not hurt ... Just remind him, you've not done this and are scared! My first time did not hurt, its all in the "warm up" if you understand what I am getting at!

GOOD LUCK TO YOU BOTH AND GOD BLESS!!!

Answer 10

Use a lot of lubricant like KY jelly on him and yourself. Relax, don't think about it hurting, that'll make you tense up. If you are super tense, that equals super tight and that's what will hurt. It doesn't hurt if you can totally relax and get into it. Maybe a lot of foreplay would help you get into it and relax. Good luck and Congrats!! You'll see sex is a great part of marriage and it's extra special since he is your first.