Hi here is a paragraph that I can use some help with please, Please can you critique it for me please?

Question

Nurses have went to school and obviously are well educated in life saving and their care giving expertise. They have been taught how to prevent, treat and stop illnesses in its tracks along with other health care team members. In their profession they are taught valuable skills. When employed in hospitals they are skilled to make assessments. These assessments include taking vital signs, take the patients history, looking for any abnormalities on the body, any aches pains, bumps, bruises and any broken or fractured bones. In their profession of work they even watch for signs of emotional or mental illnesses. The LPN nurses today are also being trained to insert intravenouses in their patients as well. I feel a little anxiety about this but will practice I know I can do it all.

If you feel that this paragraph can use some work please let me know, suggestions are also welcome.

Thank you

Answer 1

Babyangelz,

A possible revision:

Nurses are well educated in lifesaving and caregiving. They have been taught how to prevent, treat, and stop illnesses in their tracks and to cooperate with other members of the health care team. Nurses are taught valuable skills. When employed in hospitals, they are make assessments, including taking a patient’s vital signs and history, looking for any abnormalities on the body, and examining any aches, pains, bumps, bruises, and fractures. They even watch for signs of emotional or mental illnesses. Licensed practical nurses today are trained to insert intravenous catheters into patients as well. It is natural to feel some anxiety about such responsibilities, but with practice, I know such lifesaving treatments can be accomplished.

If this or another answer here proves helpful in your research, you can encourage good answers by choosing one answer as the "best answer."

Cheers,
Bruce

Answer 2

What about this?

"Nurses are educated and trained to save lives and to provide patients with professional care. Like other healthcare workers, they have been taught about the prevention and treatment of illnesses, yet they also acquire a number of other valuable skills. For example, nurses employed in hospitals are required to make assessments of a patient's vital signs, history, and to make a preliminary examination of the body for any physical injuries or abnormalities. Beyond this they are also trained to recognise signs of emotional trauma or mental illness. The LPN nurses today are also being trained to insert intravenous needles in their patients as well. Although I am somewhat nervous about this, I am confident that with practice and training I will able to handle these tasks professionally and to the best of my ability. "