i make 3 times more money than he does..i can get a divorce and make it on my own just fine...the problem is i always feel sorry for him and im affraid he wont be able to make it on his own if i leave...i am too codependent on this relationship and want to get the nerve up too leave his but for good..i love him but it is not a healthy relationship...there are kids involved but we dont have any together...he is an alcoholic who does nothing but drink beer and get pissed off about everything the kids and i do...but i keep thinking of all the good things about him too and thats what keeps me from leaving...tonight we got into a big argument which led to him putting his hands around my neck and choking me ....i almost pased out cause he cut off my air snd i couldnt breath for about 10 seconds...after that happened he started crying and hugging me and saying he was sorry...that was the first time he ever layed a hand on me ...i know i need to leave but i am not strong enough and i love him.
2007-10-16 16:33:38 · 13 answers · asked by lisa p 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i have left him 3 times before and i always come back thinking that things will be better.they are better for awhile then he goes back to being the same *** hole he always is..he has alot of good in him he just has alot of anger management problems due to the fact he is an alcoholic....what should i do?please help and give your advice
2007-10-16 16:39:15 · update #1
Here is how to solve your problem:
1. Go to an al-anon meeting.
2. Get a sponsor.
3. Follow your sponsor's suggestions.
4. Work the steps.
Good luck! I will pray for you.
2007-10-16 16:38:12 · answer #1 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He IS an alcoholic. As long as you are around and maybe forever, he will be.
It WILL NOT change. He will not change if life is good and comfortable. Have you ever heard of someone doing that? Do you really think he will be the first?
Talking as someone who's father was just like you described, GET THE KIDS AND GET OUT TONIGHT.
Even if you are not the bread winner in the family. Scrape by and make it happen. It will be better for you and better for the kids.
Do you have a son? How will he learn to be a good man?
Do you have a daughter? How will she learn what a good man is?
It will make your life and the kid's lives better. LEAVE AND LEAVE NOW!
You know it is the right thing to do, so stop talking yourself out of it.
One more thing. Do not talk to him. Let your lawyer do that. AND do not feel sorry for him. He has done this to himself.
2007-10-17 00:20:37 · answer #2 · answered by Hubby . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!
I am starting with the number one reason why I am divorced.... My ex pushed me down the hallway while we were arguing and he hurt my back..... OOPS.... on his part! He was served divorce papers on our tenth anniversary!
The second ANY man puts hands on you, you get yourself out of that situation right away! If those kids are your own children, then there is a good chance that those kids will not have a mother because of the step-father killing their mother!
What do you prefer,,,,, to be dead???? Or alive?????
If you pick Alive.... Then you pack your crap NOW! Not tomorrow... NOW! and leave! Go to a lawyer in the morning and start the divorce filing!
If you pick Dead... then stay there and let your kids be raised by this SOB.
Do you need the strength to remain alive??? Call an abuse hot line for help! So that you can remain Alive!
2007-10-16 23:41:50 · answer #3 · answered by LyndasCa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its gonna be super tough, leaving him then, wont it? But YOU KNOW you can't live the rest of YOUR LIFE the way things are now. And NEITHER CAN HE. He needs to focus more on doing something with his alcoholism, and you need to take some time off from that relationship.
So maybe theres a chance you can get together again when hes better, ya never know...
Anyways,
BEST WISHES and GOOD LUCK :-D
2007-10-16 23:51:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what is going on is wrong. The fact he hurt you, is a big sign. You need to leave him for good. Its obvious he is spelling what ever problems he has onto you, and the kids. Drinking is usually sign of depression, and fact he is violant would seem to be a mood swing of some sort. He may be just using the alchohol as an excuse to do what ever he wants to do.
2007-10-16 23:45:44 · answer #5 · answered by thehatch2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Friend,
Get a clue, its not just U that's affected by his behavior, but your kids are learning that this behavior is OK. Pray, pack up, and get a support system. Learn to love yourself, no body deserves to be mistreated and abused. Stop being afraid to move on. If you stay, where will U be a year from now? Get some faith, and spread your wings before the children are adversely affected permanently. Then your trouble will be double.
2007-10-16 23:59:50 · answer #6 · answered by virtulady07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the hell out now! If he's abused you once he'll do it again.
Get in touch with a women's shelter and their counselors. Call the police lay charges. This is NOT a loving relationship, he is trying to control you and if that doesn't work for him he will hurt you. I know I've been there.
2007-10-17 00:47:14 · answer #7 · answered by joy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, why are you staying with him. You obviously have your head on your shoulders so why are you staying with him. Yes, there are good things about everyone, but there is a limit. Make a list of pros and cons, if one out-weighs the other than you know what to do.
2007-10-16 23:40:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out. It's obvious he doesn't care about you. Leave before something happens to you or the children. Please. Go to a relative or somewhere for families. Call the police and report what he has done. He's obviously got problems, and they probably have nothing to do with you. Please get help before someone really gets hurt.
2007-10-16 23:41:35 · answer #9 · answered by vamedic4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you get fed up with it you will leave. In the meanwhile you must be getting something out of it so no fair complaining. It seems to me you are wasting the best part of your life.
2007-10-16 23:38:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋