We've been dating for almost six years, lately we've been sleeping together almost daily, and he never lasts long enough. He can't do it more than once a day anymore (like when we first started five years ago) and when he ends "prematurely", he gets very upset and ruins the mood for both of us. We have to stop over and over because after 2 or 3 minutes he's ready to go and finally I have to fake it just for him to feel happy about it. I'm afraid he's starting to lose interest in going to bed because he feels like a failure if I'm not "satisfied". I love being close to him but I hate seeing him unhappy. What can I do to help him last longer?
2007-10-16 16:31:17 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
I forgot to mention, we're both 23.
2007-10-17 11:22:32 · update #1
Woah woah woah girl, NEVER fake anything in bed! If he finds out, he'll start second-guessing every time, which will devastate any chance of improvement, ever. He will also resent you for it. If you think guys are easily, consistently fooled, you've got another thing coming.
Now, on to the question. You never said how old you two are, so the answer might not be valid... but basically, most of the time, a guy can't keep it up for psychological, not physiological reasons. He needs to get his confidence back, and there are several ways to help him with that.
1) Get semi-drunk, and spend a night in. Making out, touching, teasing, etc... being slightly under the influence makes people more impressionable, and he'll probably forget all about his previous failures. The fact that you've got all night is a big turn-on; really take your time, enjoy what you've got going on. If the problem is purely psychological, this one just might be the cure. Speaking from personal experience on that one - helped me go from a few minutes to hours, and thankfully, the results stayed.
2) He could be under a lot of stress. If there's a lot on a man's mind, he's getting hammered at work, deadlines approaching, people looking down on him... well, it'll show in the bedroom. Try to get him to relax more, get more rest, etc. Never hurts to be well-rested.
3) Pharmaceuticals. Cialis is better than Viagra, because while Viagra gives you a permanent hard-on for several hours, Cialis works over a much longer time period but the erection doesn't last the whole 36 hours (contrary to popular belief). It just makes the junk work better, and more readily (not speaking from personal experience, so be sure to ask your healthcare professional about it). It's not a laughing matter to get an ED prescription, but you know what? If it helps your man perform like a marathoner, it'll boost his confidence, make you both happier, and might unlock that little "something" in his brain that's been keeping his performance low.
4) Desensitizing creams. They work sort of like a local anaesthetic, but I wouldn't recommend `em. From what I heard, it makes the man numb, makes you numb from the contact, and sex just feels weird and detached (think about how your mouth feels after a dentist injects some anaesthetic. Sexy? Exactly.)
Do what you've gotta do. Get him therapy, get him meds, get him drunk... trust me when I say that your man is being torn up inside over this - it's one of men's biggest insecurities, and points of pride. Be there for him, and help him solve the problem - he'll be eternally grateful.
2007-10-16 16:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
When I first started doing stuff with my gf we had similar problems. Were both 19, what I did was I masturbated maybe 2 hours before I knew I was going to be with her and I did not climax until 30 mins to an hour later. Sounds crazy but I found this out from asking a doctor. I doubt telling him to go masturbate will help, but if you go slow and make him talk to you to focus on something else rather then the feeling it should last longer.
2007-10-18 07:47:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Squeeze the penis near the tip when the feeling of coming arrives. This squeezing can take away the erection too if you keep squeezing, so just do it long enough for the urge to come go away. My husband had that and it will go away if you have sex a lot and use this technique.
Also get a dildo and have him use that on you so you can come if he comes too fast. The soft gel ones are nice. You are very nice to him I hope you can orgasm other ways. I agree you shouldn't fake it. Relationships are no good if they are based on untruthfulness.
2007-10-16 19:23:32 · answer #3 · answered by Green Genius 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have him masturbate about one hour before you guys have sex. This will take his edge off and he will last for much longer, but still be pretty satisfied. You could have him wear a condom, but i'm guessing you wouldn't want to do that. Also, try holding yourself off on making too much noise at first, because that always gets guys going too early.
2016-04-09 10:33:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the start and stop method should work. does he eat you out? that would give him time to recover. maybe your giving him too much pressure. try dancing for him and masterbate at the same time. men and women have different pleasure times. you have to get started earlier, and dont depend only on him. he might enjoy the show. or you could try some type of cream to numb him
2007-10-16 17:26:01 · answer #5 · answered by T-Max 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let he ask his doctor about ED meds. Viagra, Levitra or Cialis. It should help.
Cialis works better for me. It stay in system up to 36 hours.
Good luck!
2007-10-19 05:46:01 · answer #6 · answered by Kirill K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Type "how to delay orgasm for men" in your search box and you should get lots of results for reputable sites. Check some of them and you may find some good advice, although it is really up to your boyfriend.
2007-10-16 16:51:40 · answer #7 · answered by William 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever tested out Ejaculation Trainer procedure? Start on this page : http://www.EjaculationTrainerGuide.com . It could clearly explain everybody!
2014-07-24 00:32:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Control, control, he must learn control.
Tell him to try Kegel exercises, just like women do.
2007-10-16 16:42:46 · answer #9 · answered by WestCoastin4Life 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
slow down
2007-10-17 04:37:32 · answer #10 · answered by traveller 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋