Help me Your thoughts on dying or moving on.?

Question

I can't take it nor do I want to. Married 30 yrs but we are not what we were. My youngest son died 28 June 2006 by choice; he stepped into a Simi going down the interstate! We will never over come this. I am coward. Although I supported the family for 20 years, now, she has master status as the bread winner. She treats me kike a dog on/off. She blames me for our sons death; rightfully so. No counseling has been NOT any help.

Sorry for rambling. I need to break out but have about $1000.00 hardly enough. I thought about living on the streets; I do own an ok car. Sometimes I think I want to kill her. Don't think I would, just myself. My psychiatrists says move, on, and move out. I need to do this but it's, so hard, because it’s so easy with her income and my control of the money... F...k it---money means **** till you can't eat.

Any way thought from the general community?

I'll know the ones who are--them who know who they are and your direction means dog crap to me.

Answer 1

What would I do? Take my meds, keep seeing the counsellor, get a job, move out, meet new people, enjoy life..

Answer 2

Psychiatrists? An f'in psychiatrists? Yea I see how this works now, your so use to ignoring problems, neglecting them, that when it actually came to confronting them, like a counsellor does, you run and hide and blame athem. Ok starting to see a pattern. Espaically since your only "cure" is to run away from this situation, which I feel is what caused it in the frist place, some people can't live that way. I'm not going to pretend I understand how it is to loss a child. But one thing I can say for certain is your outright blame of yourself is also a sign of your inability to confront problems, makes it easier and gives you that all important reason to leave. Seems this most be a constant theme in your life, typically councillors are overly-nice about their tackfulness in helping people with their problems, but I'm not a councillor. I just understand what they do, and I'm down right honest. So unless you ballz up and confront you problems with righteous truth (not a religous thing, its a reality thing, thats what councillors help you do, see reality) then well your stuck doing your usually thing, running....... to bad you'll find, there isn't enough places to run....

Answer 3

Whoa! This was your "youngest" son, so there are other children. Please don't do anything to hurt your other children by hurting yourself or their mother.

I cannot fathom AT ALL and don't even want to try to, what it's like to lose a child. But, you have a life to live. You have other children (possibly grandchildren?) to live for. What kind of Legacy would you be leaving if you left like this now?

Why can't you be happy for your wife instead of resentful about her job? Why must it be a competition? First of all, if it wasn't for your company with her, your stability, your encouragement, then she may not have become the kind of person that employer chose for the job she took. So, it's not just an accomplishment for her.... it's an accomplishment for you BOTH. You are a family. It's not his vs. hers.

You BOTH have to seek counseling together at the same time. You are both grieving. Her way of grieving is probably taking it out on the person(s) that is (or are) closest to her.

Take her out to dinner, tell her you are happy for her despite your recent behavior and express what your marriage means to the both of you and that counseling is necessary for the both of you at the same time.