Your smile and face was so beautiful
Your heart was so cold
I thought you made me happy
With all the lies you told
Are you ever going to get out of my head?
Maybe with time
Your love should come with a caution tag
Your love is such a crime
It feels like you left me so long ago
the months seems like years
I am so sick of this heartache
I am so sick of drowning in these tears
I pray often to God to bring me death in this life
I know if you ever heard me say that you would smile
God I cant believe I married you
I cannot believe you were my wife.
I have had so many sleepless nights
And all the tears I have cried
I bet you have not shed one tear for me
Because first you have to have a heart inside
I have never so much
LOVED and HATED
I hate to look at myself sometimes
Because I hate to see what you have created
Sometimes I feel so sorry for you
And all the guys after me
Sometimes I feel like putting a bullet in both out heads
To end the misery
2007-10-16 16:13:12 · 9 answers · asked by 1 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Yes it was my first just come to me because its real emotions!
2007-10-16 16:22:45 · update #1
Yea i posted it there strange, so what of it.
2007-10-16 16:28:39 · update #2
aww..its really deep, and full of emotions..hurry and copyright it
2007-10-16 16:16:34 · answer #1 · answered by MzChamillinator 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The poem became into ineffective and boring. I comprehend this became into probable your purpose, because of the fact this is approximately loss of life, yet how cliche. Dont take the hassle-free way out. human beings think of whilst writing poetry it has to have some sort of sinister or darkish sense to it or it must be a love poem even though it doesnt. I cant stand poems inclusive of this one edit/ nicely because your basically 12 ill cut back you some slack yet I as quickly as took a inventive writing type and each and all the poems have been repetitive and innovations numbing interior the comparable way.
2016-10-09 09:28:50 · answer #2 · answered by angrand 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for a first poem that's pretty good! some of the beats were off...like the sentences were too long and it didn't sound right but other than that, great job =)
2007-10-16 16:16:43 · answer #3 · answered by Yanks4Life23519 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
very effective, needs a little clean up, but in general very good..
you were too good for her anyways..she has no heart..
yours is a great big heart, hold on, keep writing..
2007-10-16 16:25:21 · answer #4 · answered by darlin12009 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's very good. some structure was off a little, but other then that it was awesome. are you sure this was your first? my first poem was so crappy compared to this. and to you... please don't hurt yourself. its better to feel the hurt then nothing at all... it lets us know we are still human. get better, be courageous, and God bless!
2007-10-16 16:20:41 · answer #5 · answered by organiz'd khoaz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you think?
I've heard a lot of people here that like to rip of other peoples work.
So I was checking..........
what of it?
2007-10-16 16:25:31 · answer #6 · answered by Mercury 2010 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's so sad and depressing! But very good :)
2007-10-16 16:17:18 · answer #7 · answered by Rika 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
too long for me finish reading lol
2007-10-16 16:19:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its good, do you feel better?
2007-10-16 16:17:52 · answer #9 · answered by answermesweetly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋