My husband won't let me sleep with him when I am on my period and I get really scared at night?

Question

I have a night light on and sleep with stuffed animals too but the bedroom is large and I get so scared. I have my baby's crib in there too and sometimes my friend Jessica will sleep with me. I am 20 years old. My friend says I have a phobia but when I sleep with my husband I feel so safe. Do you have any advice for me? Its hard for me to get a good nights sleep sometime with my husband and he says he loves me but that since I am unclean during my period I can't sleep with him because I will defile the bed. I told him I would wash the bedsheets everyday but then he got upset and told me not to quit being fresh with him. :(

correction: it should say its hard for me to get a good nights sleep without my husband.

Answer 1

Troll.

I'm going to list some of your other questions so people have a point of reference. Some are amusing some are disgusting. All of them posted by a troll.

Answer 2

This sounds to me like a cultural taboo. And was this an arranged marriage? How old were you when you married?
Not being able to sleep alone does sound like a phobia. But it may have been brought on by his controlling ways. You must learn to feel safe within yourself!
Stuffed animals in the bedroom? He is encouraging you to be a child when you have given birth to one.
Here goes: Your baby needs to be in his/her own room. Use a baby monitor so you can hear it. If your husband continues to believe you cannot sleep together during your period, tell him then he must sleep elsewhere! Call you best gal pals and have them come for some great pajama parties during your "disability"! Enjoy what you can about the situation, or pack up and leave!

Answer 3

OK now I'm seeing a pattern , the husband calls you by his 1st wife's name , your not allowed to sleep with him in his bed if your on your period , you must be in 9999's to waste 5 points per BS question. So heres my answer to you.

The whole point of Question's and Answer's is having a place we can come and vent our problems , ask for help and take on board the advice given and be able to process the BS from the real people wanting to help the situation , while not all Question'ers actually heed the advice after processing it and use it to make their live's less stressful and more comfortable / manageable a lot of people do actually move on after the advice is given.

When I give advice it's usually based on a double sided coin , I tend to give the side where the problem is real and does need tending to and advise moving on and giving yourself time to mourn the loss of a marriage or a loved 1 and then taking up some hobbies like art classes or theatre group's , what ever is needed to rebuild the self esteem and the inner soul.

On the other side of the coin I give the negative , where I dont totally believe 100% that the question is actually viable or true and honest , like when someone just gets bored and basically writes a question that sounds like something out of a story they read some where.

Question'ers dont feel the need to give name's , not their real name's anyway's , so they use letter 's like L or J , or acronyms like Joe and Martha .

For this question I am afraid even though it may get me many thumbs down , I feel that this question is not real.

Answer 4

You are in a very difficult situation and I sympathise with you. Yes, there are cultural/religious differences which seem to be at the root of this. Nevertheless, while they may be the cause of your problems, they may also be only the symptoms of the problems in your couple which are much deeper. I cannot give you any advice as I know neither of you, but what you definitely need is perspective. Try and find someone in whom you can have complete confidence and who can listen: Talking with someone who can show understanding without being unduly judgemental can help give you a better perspective on things. You need to see whether you are in an abusive relationship in an unwitting "consenting victim" rôle. In the meantime, my only advice would be to ensure that you do not have any children until all this is sorted out. If you do, you will feel really trapped. You only have one life and you still have time to sort things out, get over any severe trauma (if you need to separate) and build up anew your self-confidence as an individual. Once you have done that, perfectly normal men will be queuing up to get to know you and share their lives with you. All my very best.

Answer 5

Awww, poor baby.(Troll or not) It is nothing wrong in being scared to sleep alone, that's the way you are and your husband knew that when he married you, therefor...he shouldn't let you sleep by yourself just because your at your period. Promise him you won;t stain the bed and use a tampon AND a night pad and you'll be safe, you won't made him mad. I am so sorry for you baby. Just...i don't know, can you leave him? He is supposed to protect you and take care of you even in this century, it is nothing wrong in showing your wife you love her by protecting, supporting and take care of her when she needs you too.

Answer 6

You are twenty years old????

Why are you married to a childish man who sounds like he is living in the dark ages?

That old belief about women being unclean while having their periods has been outdated for a long time.

You need some counseling and your husband needs even more.

Grow up dear, you have a baby to be responsible for and don't need a husband who treats you like dirt. He does realize that if you didn't have a period, you wouldn't be able to have children with him, right?

Get marriage counseling quick, before you get dragged backwards into the the past.

Good luck.

Answer 7

What culture is he from? In many places a menstruating woman is thought to be unclean and still is isolated until she has finished so his aversion could stem from how he was raised although I think he's really mean. Tell him if he can't bother to sleep in the bed with you then he needs to sleep on the floor next to the bed! Sounds like a nice compromise.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being scared of sleeping alone! My husband's in the military and has to be gone a lot so I certainly know how you feel sleeping alone. I'm home alone for a week every three and I'm still scared of the dark although you'd think I'd be used to it by now.

Answer 8

Omg ur kidding right? First off u need to see someone to help you with ur phobia cause if I was ur friend I'd be so annoyed by you. Second of all ur husband is an idiot he needs to stop treated you like a dog on her period its not unclean its life. If anything men are unclean and women go through enough b-s like cancer and have to worry about all these diseases for a man to tripp over blood he's a A- HOLE anyway please get it together

Answer 9

It probably is not my place, but if I were you, and my husband told me that I could not sleep with him on my period, I would be quite upset! How dare him! you aren't having sexual intercourse. you are is wife! you are just sleeping in the same bed. as for sleeping alone, you either, have a phobia, as your friend said, or you are still not mature enough.
What happens if your husband leaves? You must be able to go on. You need to find some help to confront your fear and to get over it!

Answer 10

You should have discussed this prior to getting married. You have to realize how silly you sound. My husband views that time of month as an off limits time as well but not even close to your situation! He is just a guy, but to tell you to sleep somewhere else, he's an *** deary. Im sorry for you and your child. I hope he does a 360. I praise the guy who said he "loves" his wife during this time. That is a true man in love.

Answer 11

Wow your husband sounds like a bastard. Defile your bed. What a freak. I would be more afraid to sleep with him then sleep alone. What about when you guys have sex? Do you have to strip the bed and wash the sheets before you pass out?