unrealistic parental expectations?

Question

My parent's expectations for me are completely ridiculous, and it's getting really annoying.
Right now, I'm taking most of my senior year classes at a nearby state university, since I ran out of courses at my high school. I'm 2nd in my class, and my SAT scores are excellent.

Here's an example of their expectations:

So far there have been 2 tests in my Chem class at the university. I got a 100 on the first, and I just got the results of the second back - a 90. Now I'm taking **** because I "trashed my grade" and "I can't go to a good college now" and "I'm just an idiot".

It's f***ing ridiculous, there's no way to live up to it. No matter how well I do, it's never enough.

WTF am I supposed to do?

Answer 1

I would be dumbfounded if either one of my children do as well as you do in school! I am wondering what your current GPA is considering that you had to move to a university to finish high school due to running out of courses at the high school... WOW!!!

You obvioulsy study to get the type of grades that you do. If you have a university selected that you want to attend for college courses, just make sure that you are going to meet the university's requirements to be accepted.

What you are suppose to do is know that you are doing the best that you can, you are actually achieving higher than the average student! Keep that in mind! Let your parents be silly and have their strict unrealistic expectations.. As long as you know it is unrealistic and you know what is realistic, you will be fine.
I cannot believe that I am going to say this, however, since you seem to achieve highly, let your parents have their say, nod in agreement and mentally tell yourself that you are doing all you can.
I know it would be great to have your parents tell you how proud they are of you with your achievements. However, there are parents out there that just do not know better and do not realize that by always being so hard, strict, and unrealistic, they are actually damaging their childs heart..

You are NOT an idiot, you did NOT trash your grades, and you CAN go to college! Anyone can do whatever it is that they put their mind to!

Answer 2

There are many! Try and thing of a few outside the box... Here are a few common ones however; - Parents expect child to be extremely clever, get amazing grades - Parents expect child not to 'follow the crowd' (drink,smoke,party etc) - Parents expect their child to tell them everything - Parents expect child to behave 100% 24/7 - Parents expect the child to not be additcted to their mobile phones or Facebook - Parents expect their child to be pretty, popular, confident, charming etc. Many of these are just wants, but they may want their child to be so perfect, the want turns into an expectation, a totally unfair pressure to place upon a child. (Mention Bowlby's learning curve).

Answer 3

Have you considered sharing these feelings with your parents? They may think that they are helping with you with high expectations, and the fact that they have high expectations shows that they believe you are very talented. But when expectations get so high that you are worried that they might not love you if you don't meet the expectations, that's unhealthy. Also, some parents try to live through their children, hoping that their children will accomplish the things they didn't get to accomplish themselves. Perhaps if you sincerely and calmly explain to your parents that you feel smothered by their expectations, it might open their eyes. You might also suggest that you see a family therapist together, who can facilitate this kind of communication. God bless. It sounds like you are indeed an intelligent and sensitive young man, and I think these characteristics will take you far.

Answer 4

As a parent, we just want what is best for our children. No matter how well off we are, we want our kids better off then that. From the sounds of it you are doing great and just keep doing the best you can....that's all you can do, and try not to let it discourage you, they just love you...although I think calling your child an idiot is a bit harsh, especially when it's obvious you're not an idiot.

Keep up the good work :)

Answer 5

Hmm well my parents are the same man... even though i'm nowhere nearly as hardworking as you are, or nowhere near your level, but still my parents ***** at me to push me... I think they just want to see you do great in life, that's why they do this.... i mean all of my friend's parents are happy when they get Ds.... if i get an A-, i get bitched at.... all it's saying is that they want you to be absolutely the best you can be. If you're as smart as you make yourself seem, than I'm sure you will do great.... just keep busting your *** and keep that rank high. When they *****, just take all their "Good job idiots, way to **** up ur life" as "Good job, i know you can do better though".

Answer 6

I may or may not have received a failing grade in chemistry and may or may not be attending a university where I would be licensed to practice medicine.

obligatory parents are a drag.
in addition, my father may or may not have been a chemistry professor who possibly could have taught my chem class.

In summary, you're fine. Everytime think of my asthma I google erythema multiforme. Glad I don't have that.

Answer 7

Finish high school and get out on your own as soon as you are able to. Some parents feel that they are "helping" their kids by pushing. I don't agree! Also they want you to do all those things they couldn't or wouldn't do in their life. Good luck!!

Answer 8

Try to see that this is not about you. It about your parents wanting you to fulfill some dream of theirs. Unfortunately, their behavior affects you. Acknowledge them and swear to try and do better. In other words, tell them what they want to hear. Hang in there, the year will be over soon and you can become independent.

Answer 9

Just tell them that it's impossible to live up to their wants. Just be like, "Hello! I'm NOT God okay?!" And hopefully they'll get it.... Or just do the best you can and make sure they know how much you try.

Answer 10

Tell them that you happen to be proud of how well you're doing, and that them saying stuff like that to you is gonna hurt your relationship with them.