My husband says that men have a right to change their wive's first names just like they change their last names upon marriage. He likes to call me by his former wife's name sometime but not all the time. It makes me feel like I am not good enough by myself but he says he just does that because he misses her and stuff. Am I taking this the wrong way?
2007-10-16 15:22:12 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What the hell?!? Of course he doesn't have the right to change your first name. You don't even have to change your last name if you don't want to. I'm not sure this is even a serious question.
2007-10-16 15:44:25 · answer #1 · answered by pisceswoman87 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not taking it the wrong way.
He needs to change his ways,
and also his ways of thinking.
And he needs to get over his "former" wife.
No one has the right to change anyone's first names.
That was the name your parents gave you and that is the name you will have unless YOU decide to change it.
You need to really look long and hard at the marriage that you are in, and ask yourself if this is what you want for the rest of your life?
To be compared to a past wife?
I sure wouldn't :{
2007-10-16 23:06:13 · answer #2 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he called you his ex’s name by mistake that would be one thing, but to intentionally do it, and do it because he 'misses her'... I’d be walking out the door and not looking back.
To answer your question--in the US (and I don’t know about other countries) a man has no RIGHT to change YOUR name. YOU can choose to take his LAST name if YOU want, but he can’t make you. In order to change your first name, you'd have to petition the court for a name change.
Seriously, why are you married to this guy? Personally, I think he sounds like a jerk who thinks that he controls you, has no regard for your feelings, and is NOT over his ex-wife.
2007-10-16 22:53:30 · answer #3 · answered by kp 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No! I was happy to change my last name, but I will be naming my second born child with my maiden name (as a middle name). Changing your name should not be a sign of ownership and nobody can MAKE you change that. It sounds like your husband has little respect for you and it makes me sad to hear that some men still feel like they can treat women as possessions instead of partners.
2007-10-16 22:52:11 · answer #4 · answered by Kaitlyn E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me try to be as sensitive as possible.
Your husband is a moron.
He wants to call you by his ex-wife's name and tells you he misses her? Why did he get married in the first place???
How would he feel if you started calling your old boyfriend's name during sex?
Your husband is completely out of line. If he wants to be married to you, then your name is ________. If he wants someone by another name, then he can start looking for wife #3.
2007-10-16 22:29:59 · answer #5 · answered by Pythagoras 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If he misses her, he's not over her, and not ready to give his heart to you! Your name is what your momma and poppa gave you, their child, for a reason. No one else has the right to change it, unless you want to. You are an individual, and part of a new family unit. The previous wife has NOTHING to do with that. Get hubby some grief counseling, or something.
2007-10-16 23:00:00 · answer #6 · answered by Linni 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A right? No, it is the woman's choice whether or not to adopt her husband's last name. Men have no right to make choices for women or wives.
2007-10-16 22:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by some female 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What country do you live in that you'd even think this was OK?
My god , if he is so in love with his 1st wife that he has to call his 2nd wife her name then let him go back to the cow.
If my husband even blinked his ex wife's name in front of me reffering to me as her I'd king hit him then throw him out on his rear end.
When I was 6 months pregnant with our son , he called his ex wife during an argument on the phone babe (seems he calls his women babe when he dates/marries them) he was cooking us a romantic dinner at the time and she got him so agro he said she confused him , I threw the whole hot frying pan with 20 dollar steak in the bin along with the expensive vegetables then I threw my fist into a cupboard and he slept on the couch for 2 weeks.
ITS NEVER OK TO BE CALLED BY AN EX'S NAME PERIOD.
Lift your game girly your not his pet dog .Dump his @ZZ.
2007-10-16 23:13:40 · answer #8 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
um first off he does not have the right to change your last name at all!!!! you have that choice, and no do not let him call you by his exs name if he misses her he needs her, you shouldnt have to live in a shadow or be put on a back burner until the real thing comes back.
2007-10-16 22:27:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are living and putting up with a totally messed up man. He has absolutely no right to decide your first / last name.
Above all, why are you even putting up being adressed by his first wife's name. You need to take charge here and stand up for yourself.
2007-10-16 22:33:07 · answer #10 · answered by Romi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋