Why does my mom constantly tell me I'm fat?

Question

I am 5'4" 130

My mom always tells me to suck my stomach in. ALL DAY! She says men don't like fat woman. At dinner especially when guests are over it's mortifying. She monitors my portions and starts telling people about the weight loss plan she has for me. She's like oh your brother can eat a lot "brianna go have a rice cake" and it's soo annoying. please tell me how fat am i? i'm allmost 13. and i kind of have big boobs 32C but i always thought my legs and stomach was thin

I have begun skipping breakfast and dinner. also i've been exercising a little bit. she wants me to be 100 lbs. what can i do to please her and make her shut up. i have already talked to her about my feelings, she really doesn't care.

this is serious, so please be serious.

oops typo i'm almost 14 *

she buys tons of junk food but if i even go near the cabinet she will pinch my stomach and i seriously cry myself to sleep.

sorry to add more details but the reason she hates fat people is because my dad cheated on her with an overweight woman. (divorced)

Answer 1

Hi Brianna,
How sad that your mom is as insensitive as you claim. When she should be teaching you how to care about yourself and encouraging your self esteem, she is proving to you, how unhappy she is about herself. Happy people don't put people down. Unhappy people find faults in others.
Literally, you should ask a doctor what he/she thinks is an ideal weight for you and then find a diet you like that will make you feel healthy, happy and energetic.
Your mom's unhappiness (ex husband cheating with heavy woman) should be no reflection on you and her negative attitude and behavior towards you needs to stop.
As a mom I am appalled that a mom would act this way toward her own daughter.
The love I have for my adopted daughter is so great that I accept her for the beautiful person she is. Instead of pointing the negatives out, I concentrate on the good things about her and together we do the girlie stuff...hair, nails, skin care and dieting. I don't expect anything from her I couldn't deliver myself.
And yes, we will have our girlie movie nights and have the ice cream sundaes and popcorn from time to time.
My dear...your body is yours. Junk food is not healthy, but there are times we can enjoy a day of slacking just for the fun of it.
Mom needs to be a whole lot less selfish, stop comparing you with your dad's girlfriend, and find out what real love for her daughter means.
Why is it that parents don't realize that their kids are not to blame for their mistakes.
Kids were born to be loved and to be cherished. Life is difficult enough for them than to add unneccessary pressure.
Your Mom needs to be more motivating and encouraging and loving toward you.
My dear...You are beautiful.

Answer 2

I am so sorry that she is doing that to you. I had a dad that did that to me and I am still affected by it to this day.

What she is doing is not loving or appropriate. Perhaps she doesn't know how to express herself correctly. She is an adult however and she should work on her short comings.

Do you have any support within the family that you can go talk to? Dad, Grandma? Someone who can put a stop to your mother's behavior.

I am especially sad that she would choose to treat you that way in front of guests in your home. That shows such a lack of respect for you.

You are NOT fat. In fact, you will probably lose weight after going through puberty - I'm not implying that you need to. What I am saying is that your body will start to take on a more womanly form once you get through puberty and I believe you will look even better than you do right now.

Boobs are boobs, sister. Either you have them or you don't.
Be proud of the girls!

Is it possible that your mother is jealous of you? That perhaps you do have the stomach or legs that she wanted and/or wants?

There is a reason why she is being so cruel regarding this.

I wish I knew what to tell you to make her stop....I'm not sure. Certainly you should try talking to her. You could write her a letter about how you feel.

You could show her your question here on Yahoo!Answers so she can hear from other what an absolute JERK she is. That's right, lady, you are a major league butthole (sorry, just couldn't help myself)

Be strong, hang tough. Wipe those tears away. You are beautiful....you need to not change a thing about yourself unless YOU want to.

Your mom has issues..........hopefully she will get some help!

I wish you all the best, dear!

Answer 3

Hey Brianna, it's not healthy for you to skip meals because becoming anorexic will kill you in the long run. You can watch what you eat but make sure it's a healthy eating plan such as staying away from processed, fatty, high sodium and high sugar items.
5.4 130lbs is not fat. That is actually a healthy size. And there are enough men out there who are not into super skinny women.
I was super skinny when I met my husband because I have a high metabolism but now after my first baby I weigh 130 and he loves it! I did want to lose the weight but my husband tells me I look better than I did so just maintain my weight. I'm 5.6 but I'm not big chested. I actually fit clothes better now than I did when I was super skinny.

Do you have a larger chest than your mom? 32c pretty much tells me your body probably already looks like a matured woman so your mom might actually be jealous of you.
Does your mom have an unhealthy body image? If she embarasses you by telling people you're on a diet then speak up in front of everyone and tell her how it makes you feel. You might have to embarass her to make her wise up. If she doesn't, tell a family member that might put her in her place.
Just remember your mom is the one with issues, NOT YOU!

Answer 4

I understand what you are going through. Your mom just wants what is best for you, but from what you say, your weight should not make you look fat. Sometimes moms over react, i know my mom did, she would say that thing about looking like that a lot, but once i got older i just stoppped listening to her and ignored what she said and i never turned out looking like anyone she said. I'm actually skinner than her now. don;t skip breakfast, its the most important meal of the day, and by skipping meals your body will store the fat even more. Just ignore your mom when she calls you fat. Tell her that you feel great the way you are and just because your sister is super skinny doesn't mean that you have to be like her. Don't starve yourself it does not work. GOOD LUCK! :)

Answer 5

My aunt (legal guardian) pressures me too. Not near as bad as your situation.

I don't understand why she would do that. Is she overweight? Perhaps she just doesn't want you to be unhealthy.

100 lbs is not a good weight loss goal for you. You are the same height and weight as I am and I am almost 14 as well.

A lot in common haha. Probably not.

Maybe she reads to many magazines and she thinks you need too look like those anorexic models.

Do this, and I am serious. Tell your mom to take you to a nutritionist. He or she will tell you if you are overweight. If you are overweight he or she will tell you how much weight you would need to lose and what a good diet plan would be for you. Get professional help. Really, even if you don't choose my answer as best, a nutritionist will tell you what you need to do.

Answer 6

I know you love your mom and you should. I also know she is hurting you and for that I am truly sorry. Your mother has major issues and she is taking it out on you. Her lack of self-esteem and own insecurities are causing her to punish you for the way she feels about herself.

Your mother needs to see a therapist and you telling her so is only going to cause an argument. You need to talk to someone else. Your father, your grandparents, a school counselor. Someone who can get her attention and help her to see what she is doing is wrong.

It is not okay to skip meals. You may lose weight now, but your body will start feeding off your muscles, including your heart muscle and you can die. Anorexics have heart attacks all the time and DIE. Do not let your mother's crazy issues turn you into another statitistic. She is not God, she is just the woman that gave birth to you. She is just a screwed up human being tearing you up. Do not give her that power.

You are worth so much more than you realize. God made you. He loves you. He didn't make a mistake, he made you. And your mom, with her issues, is jealous of you too. Treat her respectfully but when she says this B>S> about your weight just think about something else. Think about the day you graduate and go to college. Study hard, get a good education and then get out when you are accepted in College and have your scholorship. You can do it. And remember this pain when you have children and do not repeat the cycle. You are beautiful. You are smart, you are worth everything and you will one day have a great job and a great home and a family of your own that is healthy and happy.

Answer 7

quote: A 14 year old (female) child who is 130 pounds and is 5 feet and 4 inches tall has a body mass index of 22.4, which is at the 79th percentile, and would indicate that your child is at a healthy weight. :endquote

There are a lot of factors that make these general tables unreliable but you are basically fine. You may benefit from some toning exercises. You also need to determine how physically mature you are as well.

Your school nurse should be able to tell you if you are at a good weight for your age and body type. She can send a note to your Mom if you want her to.

Eat a good breakfast, like a cup of cereal, some fruit and glass of milk. You want to get yer metabolism going and your school will go better if you arent hungry.

Answer 8

First of all, you can't skip meals-that's not healthy. Can you find an adult, like at school or something that you can talk to about this? Maybe that can help you talk to your mother and really make her understand what she is doing? She is obviously hurting you and setting you up for some really bad habits as far as eating/your weight goes (obviously if you are already starting to skip meals). The most important thing is how you feel about yourself. You need to take some action somehow to make her understand how much she is hurting you. Good luck!

Answer 9

Omg! So many people are asking these questions! The answer is so obvious! Don't listen to her. She's crazy. And skipping meals won't help you in any way. Exercise regularly on a daily basis. Stay away from anything fatty and oily. It always helps to read the labels. Always eat breakfast. It gives you energy you need in the morning. Eat lots of fruits and veggies too. Good luck.


~ Ash



Hope I helped =)

Answer 10

omg thats soo sad. you are not fat at all. eat breakfast and dinner please, you'll make me happy. i know that doesn't mean much, but do not starve yourself becuase of your mothers opinion. Men also don't like anorexics. and being 100 pounds is not the answer. I'm 15, 120 pounds and 5'5" so your probably about my size. your skinny deary, with big boobs. which is a very good thing, guys like that no doubt.

be proud of it seriously. eat all you want your totally fine. she's a hater, i can't believe she's doing that to you.

but seriously lease don't skip your meals, and DO NOT try to be 100 pounds, thats underweight at your age. i cannot believe your mother is such a jerk.