We live in the South and have hurricane's very commonly ... I just worry that during bad weather, me and my (future) kids will be without him due to him having to stay behind and help in dangerous times. Also, I'm afraid for his safety. He's not very quick sometimes (not to be hateful but it's honest) and it scares me that bad people will hurt him. What about holidays? Daddy won't be home and it kills me. How do I cope?
2007-10-16 15:14:53 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Might I add a detail? We just recently got married in August. He was planning on taking a Marketing position as soon as he finishes school (about a yr.). I never knew he was interested in police work. His dad was a policeman and I think he wants to be like him. Isn't it unfair that I had no idea? I mean, I didn't grow up with a dad out fighting crime and didn't expect him to be changing his career completely around.
2007-10-16 17:24:42 · update #1
Odd I come across this post today.
My son also wants to be a police officer. He's 18, He is also ADD. Very smart in some areas, struggles in others.
He just seen a recruiter today. His plan is to enlist in the Marines and then go on to be a police officer afterward.
I must say many parts of the idea scare me. I am trying to look at it as it really is, his dream. I can only hope all my children live their dreams. I worry about this career choice, but I support him. I know he can be at risk anywhere in life, I guess I can look at the close nit and type people he will be surrounded by.
Second, those same "bad people" can hurt your husband wallking out of any job, and place. Its just more forseeable in police work. Many police officers never see a situation involving death. For some its rare. It depends on the area he works in.
If your in a huge city with alot of vilolence, maybe you can compromise with him and relocate to a smaller one with less vilolence and risk?
2007-10-16 15:56:14 · answer #1 · answered by savahna5 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you are coming from. There has been emergencies and I have had to deal with many situations alone. Yes, you feel like a single mom. A husband that is never around when you need him. It is hard. Find family members that can help you because, there will be a great number of times he will not be there. About the bad people:they are everywhere. It doesn't matter what he does. Turn on the news the world is not that pretty anymore. Talk to him if it bothers you a lot. Tell him to be something else.
2007-10-16 16:09:47 · answer #2 · answered by Mia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if it's what he wants to do then let him. Keep in mind that if you hold him back, it may help in the long run, but think about how it will hurt him to not have been able to live his dream. Keep in mind there are many police officers who serve their duty without incident! Plus, think of it this way, imagine that him, as a police officer, ends up saving a life for being at the right place at the right time!! Think about how proud you and your children will be!! Focus on the good, not the bad!
2007-10-16 15:19:19 · answer #3 · answered by Hexx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its his decision. You should voice your concerns, but ultimately you should be supportive of your husband.
As for "How do you cope?"
1. Yes, he has a job where he will be at risk, but ask yourself rationally, "What is the likelihood that he will be hurt on the job?" There are thousands of policemen in the US, but only a very small perent are hurt/killed on the job. He'd probably be at a greater risk if he was in a less 'dangerous' occupation, like a truck driver or fisherman.
2. Many jobs work holidays. I used to work in group homes and had to do some Thanksgivings, Christmases, etc.
3. If you are refering to his physical quickness, I'm sure the police academy will help him get in shape. Aren't there minimal physical requirements they have to meet?
2007-10-16 15:19:17 · answer #4 · answered by Pythagoras 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are feeling is normal. It's OK to be concerned, but try approaching this thing logically. Why is he taking this career. Is it something he really wants to do? If you then you need to be supportive while still voicing your concerns openly but not accusingly to him.
If it's for the money, which I doubt since cops don't make anything, then maybe he'll consider something else like being a security guard.
Don't panic, talk this thing through and come to a agreement. maybe he does this for a while until you two have kids, or something, I don't know, but try not to let fear rule you. It can hurt any relationship.
2007-10-16 15:22:32 · answer #5 · answered by stn1225 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel my fiance is pursuing a career as a highway patrol man. I am terrified. I think people who chose a career in law enforcement are very brave. You need to talk to him and let him know how you feel but if he is really passionate about this you wont be able to change his mind. Be supportive and maybe you will find that thats the best way to cope with it. Try not to keep it on your mind when he is out. Stay occupied with you children. Living in fear wont make it better or easier.
2007-10-20 14:54:14 · answer #6 · answered by nilla2124 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to let God lead your feet down the path you need to be on.
Any job can keep your hubby from being home with you/kids when you really need him, you should have a plan in effect incase such a thing should occur.
Also women tend to worry more than men do, espically about the safety of their loved ones, but in truth your spouse can be hurt/injured/killed in any kind of job-related accident. You must trust in the Lord & pray that he will keep your family safe. God can help you and your family cope if you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Good luck and God bless
2007-10-16 15:26:49 · answer #7 · answered by debbiedeb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love this man, let him do the job he wants and will be Happy doing, God Bless him for wanting to be a Policeman.As far as Hurricanes and holidays that part of the job,I say support him in his decision,
2007-10-16 15:56:23 · answer #8 · answered by Texas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is a risk each day, no matter where we are and what we do. Be proud of his choice! Be strong for yourself and your children. Life is TOO short to live in fear. Work on your own interests and competencies and seek out other wives of police officers for support & encouragement.
2007-10-16 15:21:49 · answer #9 · answered by Contemplative 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think of how he'll be helping others. i know it's hard. i live in FL, and work in a PD. it's hard on marriages to be a cop, and many are divorced. what you have to do is think of how much he helps people, and how he'll be able to help in those emergency situations. in his present career, he could die just stepping out into the street. a bus could come and hit him. the fact is, you never know what the future holds. he'll be fine.
talk to him, tell him your thoughts, but ultimately, the decision is his, and if you love him, you'll support him, no matter what.
good luck. plus, who's to say he'll even make it onto the force? training and classroom tests are HARD...
2007-10-16 15:17:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋