Discipline and kids?

Question

It seems to me that these days most kids do not get enough discipline. parents want to be their kids best friend and are afraid to do anything for fear that DHS will be called. My dad told me that when he was growing up in the 50's that everyone disciplined him, from teachers to the people on your block. If he did something bad ,word would get back to my grandfather before my dad even stepped foot in the house.

My question is was it the same way for you as it was for my dad

Answer 1

Yes, sadly it is true.

The kids are often in charge of the parents. It's wrong and in the long run a disservice to the children, who never learn that you sometimes don't get your way in life.

My upbringing was very similar to your Dad's. If I acted up at a friend's house, his mother or father would discipline me. If I was seen doing something bad in the neighborhood, my mother would somehow already know about it when I got home.

If a teacher called my home, my parents would take the teacher's word at face value and deal with me (or my sister) accordingly. To their credit, they always gave me a fair chance to explain my side of things, but if they thought I'd done wrong I was talked to, punished or both.

Teachers and parents presented a unified front, unlike today when parents challenge everything the teachers do. Their precious little brats can do no wrong, and the kids know they are in control.

We all turned out to be responsible (more or less... ;-) adults, so I guess it wasn't bad.

peace

.

Answer 2

there are many good disciplining methods that don't require physical punishment. 1. Time Out-I usually make my kids stand in the corner for 20-30 minutes or until I think thry've learned their lesson. 2. Grounding-I don't usually ground my kids, but when I have I've grounded them from all electronics, entertainment etc. for a week. Since they have a lot of entertainment in their rooms I make them stay in the spare bedroom which has nothing in it except a bed, a dresser, a clock and some other funiture. 3. Early Bedtime-This is a good punishment for all ages. Depending on the offence, my children's bedtime can be brought back 1-2 hours. I always make this punishment a week long. 4. Writing lines-I often make my children write lines as a punishment. Usually I make them write 500 lines of "I will not______anymore" Also I assign extra homework assignments for them to do. 5. Extra Chores-Self explanetory. Hope some of these ideas help. Good Luck

Answer 3

!No it wasn't. My parents were the only ones who disciplined me.
When my sons were in school I made it clear to the teachers that they were never to spank or hit my child in any way. There parents and possibly grandparents were the only ones to do that. I would never let a teacher decide when this should be done. Any other kind of punishment such as sitting out play time etc. was fine with me but I always wanted to know when my boys misbehaved. I let them know that if there was a problem at home for them to let me know and I would handle it at home so that it would not happen again. I had and still have good boys (men). They are decent and responsible. I personally think that it would have offended them if I had let anyone else paddle or spank them. One idiot teacher wanted to spank my oldest son for writing down the wrong page number and getting the wrong home work! Good grief!

Answer 4

Like many others here, I was raised with a heavy hand from my dad. My mom was the sweetheart of the two & was always there to wipe away the tears.
In todays world, my dad would be under the jail cell, for his heavy handedness.
Went to the store, yesterday, with a neighbor & her 2 kids. One is 4 the other is 9 yrs. Took her an hour to finally find them, after they had run off at the entrance when we first walked in. Her comment to them: softly- "Now don't do that again." That was all she said!
The ride to & from the store was right out of a horror movie! Sceamin', back seat fightin', cryin', & things flyin' through the air. Not a word was said to them about it from their mom.
I was sooooo glad to get back home.

Answer 5

I was disciplined as a child by my parents and grandparents but if anyone else even tried they would be in for a world of hurt.
I raised my children the same way and they, theirs.
My grandchildren are well mannered and respectful to everyone.
I agree that some parents try too hard to be a best friend instead of a disciplinarian.They may be afraid that their children won't like them if they punish them but in reality children need to know that you love them enough to make them do what is right.
It's the child that's ignored altogether that may be the most troublesome.

Answer 6

My parents did discipline me and my sisters. We did not dare do anything disrespectful. If we were bad, outside of mom's eyes, the neighbors would surely have made it known to my mom. I raised my kids with discipline and respect for others and their property. They are now grown and good people. My husband, on the other hand, along with his previous wife, did not instill discipline and respect. His youngest daughter ran away from home many times, became a gang banger and was arrested several times before she was 20 years old. Luckily though, she has changed her ways and is a respectful member of her community and has two lovely daughters.

Answer 7

Your dad is right. I you got in trouble at school - it couldn't compare to what you would get at home.

And, the neighbors got after you too..

There were 8 of us kids in my family - all about 16 months apart. My mother used to sit at the dinner table with a willow switch on her lap. You were only spoken to one time for bad behavior at the table. The next time, that willow switch would come across your ankles...she was deadly accurate too.

If you had done something terribly wrong and merited a "spanking", we would have to go pick out own switch from a bush or a tree. Then mother would take us one by one into the bathroom. She would sit on the edge of the tub, look us in the eye and asked if we knew why we were being spanked. Then she would bend us over her knees and whail away 3 or 4 times.....just enough to hurt your pride but not enough to hurt your body.

When she was through, you would sit next to her on the edge of the tub and she would ask you what you were going to do the next time to avoid getting into trouble.

I can only remember being spanked about 5 times in my life......learning a valuable lesson from each one, fer sure.

I have always believed a well place smack on the butt can be a better lesson than all the talking and "Time Out" that goes on today.

Answer 8

Oh yes, we were watch by everyone, even strangers. If I misbehaved in a neighborhood store someone would certainly say something. If we were hurt or upset on the other hand those same people would help us. It was a nice feeling, not only did you behave you felt safe.
I do get tired of going to a store and all you hear is parents yelling a child's name repeatably, the child doesn't respond and the parent keeps yelling. I think actions still speak louder then words.

Answer 9

Oh definately. I remember we were afraid of our teachers
rath, so we'd try to stay on her good side always. For kids
that didn't listen, were sent to the principals' office. We'd hear
that kids could be paddled by him. And then parents would
be called in. And you know you'd get a paddling by them when you got home. And worse, being not allowed to leave
the house, until they said so.
Neighbors were alert to kids outside. And if they would be
off the block and a neighbor passed by, like say from the
store (most people walked back then), they'ed ask you if your
mother knew where you were, so far from home. That was in
grade school of course. The furthest I was allowed to go was
when I sold Camp Fire Girl candy as a Bluebird. Then I was
allowed to go down the three blocks east of our street. The
rest of the time I had to be close by. Mom was very strict.
And I very seldom was spanked, because I was afraid of them. And a spanking would go a long way with me. Once
I said to my mom in the car, "I hated her". And she warned
me that when we got home, I'd have my mouth washed out.
So I had the rest of the ride to think about what was coming.
And she followed up with the punishment. Even tho I apolo-
gized before we got home.
Once I got a strapping from my grandpa on my mothers'
side. The only time he ever laid a hand on me. My cousin
was teasing me and I was running after him to smack him,
and I was so made I started crying. And he was taunting me.
My grandpa came out and took off his wide belt and gave
each of us a hard three slaps on our behinds. I complained
about my cousin and it fell on deaf ears. We were making too
much noise outside for the adults inside to enjoy themselves.
So he didn't care which of us started the problem. He was
going to finish it. Which I felt very unfair. My mom did not inter-
fere in that action. And I always wondered about that.
Adults were very stern when it came to a childs' behavior
back in the 50's when I was in grade school. Things changed
when I became a teenager tho. There weren't any reprimands
from then on basically.

Answer 10

Oh yes it was and we went to church more back then and were afraid to be bad. The principle always had "the strap" in plain view on the office wall and some kids actually got it when deserved.
I remember when My daughter was about 14 , threatening to call the Childrens' aid on me because I wouldn't let her go out at night. I actually found the number for her and when she called them, they told her in no uncertain terms that she was not to leave the house but unfortunately I did my best by her and she still went bad. She used to wait until I was asleep ,and then go out. She's paying for it now because it has finally caught up to her. She's 32, but I believe the drugs have stopped her brain from maturing.