I don't mind having one kid but I want a career also. We've been together awhile should I end this now because we want different things in life or stick around to I finish college and get a career even though he doesn't want me to work.
2007-10-16 14:57:16 · 10 answers · asked by hanna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm 23 and he's 33 I'm in college he's not and he has enough money to support that many kids. I just don't want that many. He has 2 already that are teenagers and he didn't get to see them grow up because he just found out about them this year.
2007-10-16 15:13:05 · update #1
as to whether you should end this relationship, that's totally your decision. if you think you can live without him, then i'd say yes. this man wants you to have alot of children and sit home and take care of them and you want a career. if you have 5 kids and sit home and take care of them, i can almost guarantee that you will end up divorced or otherwise estranged from him because you will end up bitter for having made a decision based on what he wants for you. you will become resentful and it will affect every part of your relationship and destroy it. if you want a career, go for it. there is no law on any book that says you must settle down and have a house full of screaming babies...if there is, where is it? state what you want and if he can't agree or handle it, then you need to move on, or you'll be sorry...i wish you the best
2007-10-16 15:04:26 · answer #1 · answered by thecatmama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're in college? Come on. These things are not that serious right now.
Marriage, which should be a ways out for you two, is all about compromise. That does not mean break up at the first disagreement. I mean is the whole 5 kids thing really a deal breaker for this guy? I doubt it.
How about this, if you two are seriously thinking about getting married, then sit down and talk about the practical side of a family, something very few people do. Did you know the average cost of raising a child until 18 is $400,000 US. And that does not include college or inflation. Five kids on one career is really hard, especially today.
On your side of the coin, you can have two or even three kids, and have a stay at home career as a consultant or Entrepreneur. There are a lot of options out there.
The point I'm trying to make is that if you love someone you can make it work, but for now, just stay together long enough to find out if you do love each other. Do that and I promise everything else will work out.
2007-10-16 22:08:31 · answer #2 · answered by stn1225 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm totally agreeing with the first responder there. Though I don't know how long you two have been dating, if a couple's views are that drastically different on what they want for the future then its not a sure bet that you will have a future together at all. However I think that he could have been joking around a bit, depending on how he mentioned wanting 5 kids and for you to stay at home. So best thing is to sort of laugh it off if it is a joke. But if its not you have to sit him down and tell him, that you are most serious about what you want for the future, if he can't see anything close to what you envision then its best to establish the relationship as something more casual than long-term. And when the time is right you amicably break up and follow your own personal paths and maybe find people that have similar goals. He has to at least respect and understand that. And it would show you don't have hard feelings about his views either. Shows you are open enough to keep dating him, but honest enough to let him know that your future doesn't exactly have him in it, if he is serious.
2007-10-16 22:14:55 · answer #3 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a different boyfriend! You should definitely be more in sync with someone as far as your needs are concerned. You will regret it when you don't do as you want, resent the husband and possibly the kids! I say to those people who don't want to have children, more power to you! Not that there is anything wrong with having kids, but if you really don't want them, what kind of parent would you be!? Depressed, resentful, angry? Heck no! Go for the career if that's what you want! You have plenty of time to find Mr. Right, don't settle with one that doesn't respect your goals, and has completely different goals than you, you'll always be unhappy.
2007-10-16 22:05:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How serious is he about this.? Also what is his major?. He better be about to have a large income to be able to support that many children and a wife.. Also my advice to you is finish your education even if you decided to marry him and have children and stay at home. You need a back up plan. I know that you know about the divorce rate in this country. I am not saying this will happen to you. But you don't want to end up 35 years old with five children and no way to support them except for child support.
2007-10-16 22:10:50 · answer #5 · answered by Janst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're dating a control freak. He wants you to stay home where he knows you aren't out meeting any other people. He will undermine your every attempt to improve yourself. Get out now while you can!
2007-10-16 22:05:47 · answer #6 · answered by mamabear1957 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then you need another bf. A good marriage needs the same goals. Yours are far apart.
2007-10-16 22:02:05 · answer #7 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
okay first of all this is your life.. and you should not let any man no matter how much you love them come between you and your dreams.. you should respect what he wants, but he should also love and support you in your endevors..
2007-10-16 22:03:27 · answer #8 · answered by sunshine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think u should talk 2 him about it and if he still doesnt agree with u then i think you should end it becuz u 2 want diferent things.
2007-10-16 22:03:08 · answer #9 · answered by i <3 [[P.IT]] 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
then tell him that if he loved you he would not make you give up so much
2007-10-16 22:04:55 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋