i caught my daughter with my "toy". should i buy her one or tell her to stop?

Question

my daughter is 15 and we live alone since i am divorced. this is the second time i have caught her masturbating, and im okay with it but should i get her her own instead of letting her use mine? any help would be useful

Answer 1

I would get her one for herself. She obviously knows that you do it, and because of that, doesn't see anything wrong with it. Also, that's kinda gross to use other peoples "toys".

Answer 2

yes it is grosse but beside the point. She is a human being... with sexual needs.. the more you say stop... the more she will do. It is probably the mystery of it all that makes it so exciting. I guess I would rather have my kid getting off (if they must) to a toy... then something that can give her a STD or get her pregnant. Maybe if she is satisfied she wont see the need to go outside the home to get some. Kids these days are much different and I cringe just thinking of my boys having sex.

I think you need to talk to her - regardless of what you decide to do. BUT I would not keep sharing it... yuck... hide it better..

Answer 3

Don't share them, get her one instead. (Theres many reasons onto why you shouldn't share any sex-related object, all health oriented).

From my point of view, you should embrace her to do whatever she feels is good for her (Of course you've taught her the differences between good, bad, etc so she will most of the times take the right path). I'm not trying to tell you how to race your daughter, I'm just pointing out it's very healthy to masturbate and if she feels like doing it (Because something is actually powering her emotions) - Then you should let her be.

Repressing emotions brings nothing but bad things.
To resume, get her one - be her friend and make sure she doesn't get into "trouble" when she gets a little older :)

Perhaps you two should go to the sex-shop and give it a go, get one for yourself too and retire the oldie, it's been a good companion but it deserves some vacations :)

Answer 4

I think some of the answers are unecessarily judgmental and make unfounded assumptions. Here's what I think. Definitely sit down and have a talk about sex and masturbating. You definitely want to connect with her on that issue, find out where she's at, what she knows and doesn't know, and discuss masturbating. If you are going to allow her to masturbate with a toy, yes definitely get her own. In fact, like anything else, make her save up for it and get it herself. Good luck!

Answer 5

I am a guy, so i might be the wrong person to answer this, although i would not just purchase her one.

Find out what the toy is fulfilling in her mind. is this a healthy option for a 15 year old. what are the alternatives?

Is therapy a better idea? I have nothing against masterbation, hell i do it. and did allot at age 15. but the use of a toy indicates a deeper need

Answer 6

Get her her own. This way you can at least teach her the benefits of safe sex.. Better at home alone than getting pregnant. Or unsafe sex... After all her hormones are probably raging now. She's growing into a woman.. Better off to have at least a little control in the beginning... I mean she's going to do it anyway... I'm glad you asked this question. Most parents are afraid of this "TABOO" Subject.. Glad there are open minded people here.. My hats off to you....

Answer 7

OMG! First, I would have been embarrassed to know my daughter found out I use one. Second, after you knew she used it the first time why didn't you throw it out? What kind of a sick-o are you! If one of you has a disease the other will get it, for sure. And last, throw that smelly one out, get yourself a new one, hide it better than the last one, and do not buy her one for crying out loud! Masturbation is private so I don't know how you caught her. This is probably the sickest thing I have ever heard. I don't like to pass judgment but you take the cake! I really, really hope this is just a sick joke you are telling us!

Answer 8

15 is a might young age to be using something like that. What are you teaching this girl? How long is she alone? Where did she learn about such stuff? How did she know where it was? Why was she even in your private belongings?
How gross is it that you would even think of letting her use yours?
Have you even sat down and had a facts of life chat with this girl yet? If she is doing this I hate to think of what else she is doing behind your back. She is way too young. Have you asked her why and how she found out about these things? This is not normal at all.
Being divorced is not an excuse. You need to spend some one on one with this girl before you are a grandmother at 16. Talk to her now before this situation gets out of control.
There is something wrong with this picture.

Answer 9

Yeah, just for sanitary reasons get her her own. By the way masturbation is the safest sex there is and can cause no harm (well, people can rub themselves raw but this usually makes them stop for a few days). This is probably a good time to have a deep discussion with her about sexual hygiene.

Answer 10

ummmmm. hmmm tough one. I would say talk to her about it throw the toy away it is un safe to share toys. Mother or daughter or not. They carry bacteria. I would not say to buy her her own toy, that is a personal choice of yours. Although masturbating is VERY normal. Maybe you should knock on her door and ask if it is ok to come in and you wont "catch" her in the act!

Answer 11

You should have a talk with her about masturbation and how it is not hygienic to share sex toys. Go buy one for her.