Why do some of us women allow ourselves to fall in love with guys who treat us like crap?

Question

Why do some of us women allow ourselves to fall in love with guys who treat us like crap?
Do we have such low self worth that we can't see their flaws and think we can't get anyone better? What is our issue and for those of us who HAVE actually fallen in love with guys that absolutely do NOT love us back, how do we make ourselve fall out of love with them and what actions do we need to take to show ourselves and those guys we ARE stronger then we appear to be? I could use ANYONES advice at the moment so please, be kinda and realize this is a real question and a real issue I personally am dealing with. Thanks for your time in answering..

Answer 1

first we have to be complete in ourself, happy in life, if we think a relationship will make and keep us happy, we are doomed to failure

there are many reasons, some think they can get the guy to change, some fall in love instead of growing in love, yet once hurt self esteem is lost and the feeling that I cant do any better sets in.

face it its time for a change to this kind of broken heart

I waited to answer your questions
I was hurt about your x husband cheating and the pain you went through, and a new guy you give marriage benifits too without his true friendship, getting you for less than nothing even expecting you to learn sports before he will be 'more than a friend' with you.
you need to find a good guy who will grow into a true friend to grow in love with as an equal to be adored

a guy who uses another will get all they can and give the least possible

you need to raise your self esteem and see that your worth true love, life commitment on paper, and relax to find it, and not give in to emotional abuse

David in amazing grace and God's truest love, John chapters 3 & 10 for the more abundant life, the sweet pea

Answer 2

It is probably a combination of factors.
1. Low self-esteem.
2. A poor history with relationships with males as you grew up. (I hate to blame parents, but they usually form a person's sense of self.)
3. Peer pressure and trying to raise one's sense of self by hanging out with "cool" people, or whate ver you call them these days.
4. There seems to be a lot of pressure to have a "relationship". People with good self-esteem learn to be their own people and do not need someone else to affirm their worth.

I think people rush into relationships and move to fast these days. You should not be looking for the "sex" moment before you really know a person for who they are. In the end that is what is really important, having a caring loving relationship, but people think being good in bed is more important. And we wonder why we have such shallow relationships.

Answer 3

A simple answer is this........you aren't requiring the men to treat you well. If you did, you would dump the ones who are jerks. But, as stated before, sometimes people are willing to put up with bad behavior because they are bored, or do not want to be alone. Only you can decide what you want and what is right for you. I suggest that you get rid of anyone who doesn't treat you well and look for someone who will. However, that's up to you!
Good Luck!

Answer 4

Sounds like you understand the problem, as to the why, I was taught and believe it has to do with what is called the "Electra", complex. This is where a young girl falls in love with her farther, like the Oedipus complex in males.
So now that gives rise to the question, was the farther of the women you have reference to abusive to their mother? If so then they are just repeating the behavior they observer.
This behavior can be changed once a person is aware of it.
I would suggest family therapy, maybe even in a group setting. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

I think we are always hoping it will change. I think we are often hoping that we will do something so special that they will change just for us making us special. Often we understand their hurts cause we are hurting to so when they say I love you and never want you to leave we grab hold cause we dont want anyone to leave us either. We they say no one loves me but you we dont ask why we just try to please and keep them understanding that we have their backs. We forget to watch our backs as if we get a badge for watch theirs. We become their savior and they become our destroyer. In all actually both involved are pulling feverishly at something that the other can not provide.love.-Hurting people always hurt other people whether intentionally or not. That way out is to realize he is a result of a previous problem within you( you had issues before he became your issue, he just blocked the real problem) and so therefore you need to work on you.

Answer 6

A lot of women are used to poor treatment from men. Not that this makes it right but its comfortable.
Sometimes a woman needs to work on her self worth as an individual without a man in her life. Not to say she will always be alone but get to know you, feel comfortable with you first.

Answer 7

Im a guy.. .first off... but when i speak im gonna talk as a counsellor... and speak through what i have seen and what i truly feel.

I have a girlfriend for the past year now.. ive been through soo many women in the past... and you will feel it when its right... when i asked my girl out... i felt that... and ive treated her like the queen that she deserves to be treated like.

BUT.. the world doesnt work that way... and in the case you mentioned... women are to blame... if you cant spot that your being treated like crap maybe you deserve him.. but sometimes... people dont have a choice.. cuz they feel lonely.. lost.. cornered.. and just have that one person for support.. even though that person couldnt care less bout her... and hence she begs for him to stay and not break up.. and is forced to put up with all his ****.

If your going through this.. i suggest you analyse your situation.. and weigh out your pros and cons... cuz your tears arent worth someone who couldnt care for you.

And theres someone out there for everyone... you just have to wait.. and lookout for him.. because you deserve it... and you shouldnt feel any different or have to put up with his crap for any longer..

Hope i helped... mail me if you need anything :)

Answer 8

Because you base your worth and value on that guy or the relationship you have with him.

Answer 9

Its because men believe they are superior to women just because they think they can do more than we can, earn more money and all that.. My boyfriend is currently treating me like CRAP.. and It sucks. Guys just don't understand girls, and they never will.