to make a long story short, i just asked an accquantance of ours to leave our home. he turned up a month ago, with mental and health problems,and no where to go. we have been housing and feeding him, and trying to help him get back on his feet, but doesn't seem to want to help himself. last night he came home drunk, fell asleep and peed on my sofa. i went off, and this morning told him he has to go. now he says he is going to throw himself in front of a bus! i don't deserve this guilt trip, and feel sick with the stress and worry of it all. where do i go from here?
2007-10-16 13:17:07 · 9 answers · asked by ⓑⓐⓨⓢⓐ ™ 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
okay, you've done a lot for him. sounds like he's going to take a kilometer when you give a centimeter :) i personally think that you should let him know that you have helped him all that you can. you've done more than enough for this character and he needs to find somewhere else. no guilt trip needed. the only trip needed is him to AA or a motel. sounds like you are a very nice person and will probably feel bad for him and that's fine. but, know that you've done all you can. release him and tell him that you will not enable his negative behaviors any longer.
good luck and glad there are still good people out there!
2007-10-16 13:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can only help those who are willing to help themselves. Not even seasoned psychologists can help patients that are unwilling to help themselves. As far as guilt goes, it is a kin to shame and I cannot see what part of this situation should ashame you. Maybe you didn't need to "go off" but the end justifies the means. As for where to go from here, you first need to get over your guilt and regain a neutral state of mind. Guilt is the last thing that should motivate you to help someone. Once you're over it then you should research your local mental health resources and pass along your findings to your friend. If he blows you off then be done with it, and if he listens then he'll have the appropriate medical care he deserves.
2007-10-16 13:46:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
An acquaintance? Oh you have such a big heart entertaining acquaintances in your home.Perhaps connect with People Services where they can help you with this problem I know what you feel, you still this person as a human being and deserves to live, why not get in touch with his family?How did you ever get to know him or her by the way?since this is the problem, just focus now with the solution, I suppose there are peopel centers to help you out with this, meanwhile stay cool and just do the best you can.
2007-10-16 13:28:47 · answer #3 · answered by E@rthGoddess 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guilt is purely Self-imposed and only you can decide to be rid of it.
Make a decision as to what you are willing to do or not do and when you have thought it through and feel at peace with the course of action or non-action you have chosen why second guess yourself. Guilt is the result of second guessing.
Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You
2007-10-16 13:45:10 · answer #4 · answered by lillianroh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm not sure were to tell you to go from here,, but heres a quote to remember,,, Guilt don't fly with the big guy in the sky , nice try , by by
2007-10-16 13:38:09 · answer #5 · answered by darkcloud 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmhm something isnt right. you may want to get a third party involved. social services maybe? He may have a driking problem if he comes home drunk often, so keep track of that. Maybe he is ging through depressino and doesnt feel like ding anything?? Talk to him when he's sober,. i mean really talk. (i know this isnt yur fault)
2007-10-16 13:21:18 · answer #6 · answered by curtismayfield? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don`t worry, people who wants to die jump from the bridge and invite no one . He is just getting what he wants, to make you feel bad and force you to bring it back to your house. The way you feel just tells you that he can not handle his problem neither you. The best you can do is guide him to find professional help and pray for him. Best wishes!
2007-10-16 13:33:12 · answer #7 · answered by ABBY MONTOYA 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't feel guilty. until he feels like helping himself, there is nothing you can do for him. he must hit the bottom so to speak and your help isn't letting him get there. but again he may throw himself in front of a bus, if that happens well it was his choice not yours. it's his life to waste.
2007-10-16 13:26:39 · answer #8 · answered by handygirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him his staying on depends on him going with you to seek help with his problem. Beyond that , the burden is on him. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
2007-10-16 13:26:16 · answer #9 · answered by anteater 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋