We have been together for 5 years and have two kids we are like
the perfect family but every time the subject of marriage comes up he says that he doesn't see the point of getting married since we are already living together and have kids. I want to be able to call him my husband i want him to tell people that I am his wife not his baby's mama. I don't know if I should tell him how I feel
2007-10-16 13:07:58 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am in a similar situation. SInce I don't intend to leave him over the issue, I just have to put up with it. We have a six month old daughter and as I see it, weddings are so expensive, if we'd had one, we couldn't afford our baby! I know you can get married on the cheap, but if you are going to bother at all, you might as well make a good night of it. That's expensive. Maybe he'll agree to buy you a ring to wear on your left hand? I'm known as his partner/girlfriend/missus depending which word comes out of our mouths. It does annoy me that I have the role of a wife but not the status, but I guess that's just a stupid women's hang up. (The hang up is stupid, not me!) It's not terribly romantic if you have to bully him into proposing, so tell him how you feel then leave it alone.
2007-10-16 13:28:36 · answer #1 · answered by Rosie_0801 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would def tell him how you feel. 5 years, 2 kids marriage should be in the future. If he feels there is no need he might of just settled for what he has and not truly want it. If that is the case it's totally unfair to you. You should be with someone that wants to give you his all. Even though your a family being not married, having the right of saying husband doesn't complete you. I can understand, I have 1 child and been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I'm starting to feel he doesn't want to take the next step. Express your feelings, you have the right to know. You shouldn't be left in limbo putting your all into someone who is not giving you his all.
2007-10-16 13:16:24 · answer #2 · answered by American Women 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some ppl don't think that you need to be married to prove anything, I mean look at the divorce rates..(my parents for example have been together 28yrs with 5 kids and never married nor do they plan on it, and they are just fine that way). You know what you mean to your man and he knows what he means to you, and that should be all that really matters, it sounds like you are trying to prove something. Be happy that he is there and has been there for you this whole time.
2007-10-16 13:14:00 · answer #3 · answered by chichibaby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Why buy the cow when he's getting the milk for free?" That's what my dad used to tell me. My husband and I didn't get married for 5 years before he finally proposed to me. We got married on our 6th anniversary of the day we met. We did not have kids before we married, but I felt very much like you...I was tired of only being "the girlfriend". It was unfair that I was not given the respect that a wife gets.
What finally made my hubby propose was a threat - pardon the expression, but pee or get off the pot! He decided that I was worth that much to him and proposed within the month.
Good luck!
2007-10-16 13:13:51 · answer #4 · answered by Shannon H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him how you feel and that there are legal reason for getting married, for example, that if something happened to him you would have no say as to medical treatment and that an emergency happened and your daughter needed care a relative needed to approve of, he would be unable to give that approval, to name just two legal reasons for marriage. If you are still the perfect family after 5 years there is no need to wait longer.
2007-10-16 13:17:48 · answer #5 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel comfortable telling him how you feel, maybe you shouldn't get married. Marriage is about communication, and if marriage is what you want, then be very clear that you want to be married or you're moving out.
2007-10-16 13:17:24 · answer #6 · answered by Peace 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most people...expecially men..are not mind readers. Yes you should tell him how you feel. If he is not willing to commit to marriage, be prepared to leave the relationship. Tell him that you don't want to play house anymore, you want the relationship to be legal.
2007-10-20 13:10:16 · answer #7 · answered by cadillacmema 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you want to be married and start making plans to move out.
2007-10-16 13:14:27 · answer #8 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well if you have to ask complete strangers about this and can't feel comfortable talking to him about this are you sure your relationship is ready for marriage
2007-10-16 13:13:57 · answer #9 · answered by Eric M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋