am i still a virgin?

Question

i am 24 and never had sex, but a guy who is like my boyfriend and i were fooling around. he fingered me a couple of times even though i was saying no and stop. then he put on a condom and was getting ready to put it in until i said no after feeling a little poke.........then later he fingered me again and i noticed the change in size ....i looked down and he had his penis against my vaginia and i felt pressure( we were laying side by side), but i didnt feel anything go in and i told him no..... he says it didnt go in and would not cuz my hole is so tight and little.......am i still a virgin? cuz i was told that if the gentials touch u are no longer a virgin and i am really trying to save myself until marriage...and do u think i could be pregnant....i am trying to do the right thing.......please respond... cuz i am freaking out......thank u

i was saving myself because of religious reasons........so from a christians point of view am i still a virgin?....cuz when i thought it went in i started to cry and told him i was waiting and now i'm not a virgin and he said if thats the case, let me put it in....but i didnt, becuz i felt i was still a virgin cuz i didnt feel any pain i just felt his penis trying to push against my area....and yes i am 24...i just get freaked out easily, especially since i just graduated from college and have made its o far w/out having sex

oh and do u think it went in @ all?

and one more question.....this is to the women.....should i go get a pap smear now?......thank all of u guys 4 ur help

Answer 1

First of all - I commend you for wanting to save yourself for marriage. It's not an easy thing to do these days with our pop culture in the US, but to answer your question - it depends on only one thing - there is a shield of skin that seals the vagina (called the hymen and if that seal is broken then (physically) you are considered to be no longer a virgin. But don't be discouraged, if he did not fully penetrate you- then your body will still respond like a virgin to your husband when you get married.

- With that said -calm down you are definately over-reacting sweetie: if he used a condom and did nothing but fingered you it is highly unlikely that you would be pregnant. Fingering is no worse than using a tampon- the damage is minimal.
My issue would be that you said no and he did not stop -that's a whole 'nother discussion...

- As for getting a papsmear - if you get a regular check-up get one as usual. That is a matter to take up with your OBGYN - they could probably look at that tissue to see if it was broken too - did you notice any bleeding afterwards?

- My concern for you as a fellow sister in Christ would be did you compromise your beliefs for this guy? It is natural to be curious about sex, and with all that is going on around you, I am sure that it is not easy being the one on the road less traveled. The good news is that God has already forgiven you - if you asked, and no one has the right to pass judgement, you are human. The person you are having the battle with is you - ask yourself exactly what it is that you want to do right now: do you WANT to be sexually active? If so then you are an adult and that decision is yours to make - it also means that you probably deep down don't believe that sex before marriage is wrong, you just don't want anyone to disapprove of you - God has nothing to do with that, and people are going to think what they want to.

Be honest with yourself.

If on the other hand you truly, truly feel guilty about this, and as if you made some sort of mistake -then learn from it and move on ( you are probably not pregnant from a finger - and if no seaman entered your body) - but think twice next time about putting yourself in a situation where you are tempted to
go that far with someone who does not respect you enough to stop when you say stop or say no.

You teach people how to treat you, and what did you teach him? If you don't know what you believe or your boundaries are - then how do you expect anyone you allow in your life to respect those boundaries?

*Also - get to know your body- at 24 religion is no excuse for
ignorance in that department.

I say this all in love. Be careful sister.

ML.

Answer 2

If he did not put his penis in you then you are still a virgin dont worry. Just by being touched does not make you a nonvirgin. If you didnt want this guy to touch you, you should have walked away from him because by saying stop and letting him do it you are saying it was okay. Dont be pressured into anything you dont want to be. People at a younger age may think it is cool not to be a virgin but the older you get it is not good to have sex with a lot of people. And your not going to be pregnant without having sex. Calm down and you will be fine.

Answer 3

From a Christian point of view, you probably aren't a virgin - as any sexual contact is usually classed as sex - but opinions vary widely within a religion so the important question is do you feel you still are? From a physical perspective until your hymen is broken you are still a virgin. If there was no spotting afterwards I'm sure it's OK. As for being pregnant that's unlikely if he wore a condom, there was no penetration, and neither of you came, so don't worry.

Answer 4

If you blead, then you've most likely lost your virginity. But if you're concerned with saving yourself for your husband, why not also be concerned with keeping yourself pure as well? If you fool around w/some guy and let him touch you inappropriately that way, what does it matter whether you're virgin or not? Being virgin is a physical aspect of a woman's body which is easily substituted, being pure is the main deal and hard to replace.

Answer 5

While I know countless people will disagree, I would say you lost your virginity just because I believe virginity means no sexual contact so even fooling around counts. It's like people try to push the boundaries so much that the lines get skewed. You shouldn't be around this guy. He's pushing you too far. And if you want to save yourself then don't fool around like that and wait until you're married.

Answer 6

24?? wow...weird...anyways, id consider that more of a borderline "attempt", if that, and attempts dont count and no you are not pregnant, but on a side note, this guy sounds like a real jerk, i mean, how many times do ya got say whoa hold off buddy im not interested in all that and he kept trying and trying, that kind of stuff used to tick me off when i was younger but you just gotta realize that you have a right to be a ***** in situations like that and just stand up for what you believe in and get angry and make sure they know it so they dont try that crap again...and if it persists, get your brother to beat him up..haha so high school i know but this gusy gotta learn someday

on a side note..youd so know if you werent a virgin anymore as the pain would have been so overwhelming you would rather die than do it again, haha hey, someone had to warn ya, i woulda liked a heads up with the pain issue...i also agree with other people in that you may wanna stay out of situations like that because theres plenty of dudes out there that wont take no for an answer and then what..courts and lawyers?

Answer 7

If you noticed a change in size, then that's a red flag that more than a finger tried getting in there. But if he didn't enter you with his penis, then you're still a virgin. Genital to genital touching doesn't count as sex and you can't get pregnant that way.

Tell him he needs to respect your wishes on not having sex until marriage, and don't put yourself in that kind of a situation again until you are ready for sex.

Answer 8

You're still a virgin. Since his penis didn't fully enter you - you did not have actual intercourse. As for the pregnancy risk, you could still be pregnant if a guy gets pre-c*m or ejaculates on or near your vagina. Best of luck and I'm so sorry to hear that guy pressured you into something like that!

Answer 9

dont worry. its one of those things like the earing on the right ear signifying your a homo type thing. alot of people get earings only on the right ear and its just a rumor that it means your homo. when infact you could be perfectly straight. it all depends on your interpretation. when your ready for mariage you can explain to your partner about it and tell him how you dont consider it a sexual encounter and that your stli a virgin. i mean i wouldn't count it. the guy probably would kuz us assholes sure do love to show off. and take a deep breath, he had a condom on and he didnt penetrate you so theres no chance your pregnant. hope i helped =]

Answer 10

I agree with the people who said you are still a virgin and that you need to not even go that far with a guy if you want to save yourself for marriage. I wanted to wait and I did other things and I lost my virginity b/c it "accidentally" slipped in. Best to stick with just kissing.