Why do woman continue in physically/emotionally abusive relationships?

Answer 1

I was physically, mentally, and sexually abused for 12 yrs. It starts with the controlling issue. He made me feel like I couldn't do anything for myself, I couldn't go anywhere unless he was with me, I had to ask for everything, money etc.. He made me feel worthless and stupid. To make a very long story short, I finally made up my mind that when i'd walk out the door I wouldn't look back.. well it took me 2 yrs of planning. When women are in that situation for a long period of time, for one they are scared, they don't think they can make it on their own, they feel like they are useless and worthless. Usually you'll always hear "I'm so sorry, I promise i'll change and i love you". I always felt sorry for him and i never could understand why. Also we have 2 boys and I was scared to tell them because he had the same control over them and i just knew i would have hell with them. But like i said, it took me 2 yrs to leave. I was very prepared. I had it down to when he'd beg for me back I knew i would have to look at him which is scary because of the control he had over me, so when that day came i looked him in the eyes but i was starring at the wall behind him. OMG did i feel the strength i had start to fade but i snapped out of it cause i knew i finally did it!! anyway its that control that the men have over us and making us feel worthless as if we have no where to turn but to them. I'm engaged know and at the beginning i caught myself trying to argue because thats what i was use to. when u live in that type of environment thats all u know.

Answer 2

You need to have him go to jail and get away from him fast! Keeping him just for the kids will not help them. If he is abusing his own wife, why not go on to the kids? They are in danger as well. Trying to keep a family together is not worth being physically and emotionally abused. No one deserves that. I know you want to try to stay with him, but most likely if this has happened to his mom, he will not change. He might but it will take alot of work. Get out soon before it gets worse!!! Good luck! God bless.

Answer 3

I stayed in an abusive relationship, because I felt that I had no where to turn. Police did nothing and I was afraid to tell my parents at the time. I did have other men on the side and I basically did what I wanted to, hence more abuse. I finally got to the point where I took the law into my own hands and set him up for some jail time. Hes been gone for the last 8 years and when he gets out, if there are any problems, I'll know to turn to my trusty snubbed nose for assistance!

Answer 4

I've heard several reasons from women who are in them.

1) 'But they still love him.'
2) 'They believe he will change, because he always apologizes.' (This is a fact of human emotions; people often don't put things together as a whole. No matter how long a pattern persists, they remember the last significant event.)
3) 'They genuinely believe they have nowhere else to go.' This is reinforced, because the abuser keeps telling them that they aren't going to find anyone else that loves them.

Answer 5

Because the abusive person in the relationship makes the woman feel like she is worthless and no one else will want her. It's a very slow process, so it's almost hard for said woman to see it...but when it's to the point where all her friends are telling her what a rotten relationship it is, it's too late and he's probably already begun the brainwashing techniques in order for her to think that she's worthless. Why would a woman be able to leave that situation??? She feels worthless = she won't feel like she's able to find a good job to support her children or even herself. It's a very slippery slope. Once it starts happening, it happens all at once.

Answer 6

Hi Seeker, because it creeps up on us, first its all good,
then iys- don't wear makeup, you look better without it
, then,- oh, don't wear that outfit, you look common,
- wear long skirt or pants, an- get a t-shirt on to cover your chest.
- Don't go out with your mates, they are slappers,
-Who you on the phone to? don't use the phone
-how long does it take to go to the shop you tramp
then they keep it up till you have no self esteem left
and its
You are so ugly no one would have you
you cant do anything right
your family is splitting us up, don't visit them
Its so constant, and the more they say- and you stay- then there goes your self respect too.
Beatings usually come later, and you are always told its your fault, meanwhile, you have lost touch with friends and family, and feel as worthless as he tells you, its hard to break away with no strength left, defeated, and broken, soul and spirit.
love Jo xx

Answer 7

It took me 20 years to finally realize that I was almost as if being brainwashed...and I'm a fairly intelligent woman.My self esteem was put through the ringer,slowly, everyday.You really are in a sort of denial, in my case, as it was entirely emotional abuse."Deep down, he really loves me." But it's not love, what he had over me was control.
I'm in the process of divorce,with 4 children...and I've never felt stronger and more confident in my life than i do right now.

Answer 8

no confidence or self worth, they have been beaten down emotionally and physically for so long that they think this is normal, they could fear the future, and may think having someone is far better than having no one. they may actually feel they deserve the abuse they are getting that it is somehow their fault. they could feel comfortable this way as maybe they were raised being abused.

Answer 9

Sometimes they have to until they can find a way out of the relationship and that's not easy most times. They need to find a place to live, they need to find a job if they don't already have one, they need to build up their money supplies on the quiet to have enough to make the move, and they need to plan it on a day when their husbands at work. They also have to make sure he has no idea where she has moved to.

Answer 10

There is something in their brains that goes numb. It's like going into shock, and not coming out. It takes something to break you out of the shock and back into reality. And when they are in "reality," they gotta move quick to get out of the situation and move FAR away from the situation, because they will end up back in "shock" in short order if they don't get out while their brain is clear, and get someplace where they aren't exposed to "the shock factor." Sometimes, even hearing his voice is enough to make their brains go numb.