I think he lives with her. I feel so very sad even though he took me for some money and the works. But now, even so, I hate hateful and bad endings. I was happy for the time we had and just hurt a lot. I know I should hate him but I cannot. I really don't know what to do or how to explain this. Does anyone get it?
2007-10-16 11:35:29 · 14 answers · asked by theartisttwin 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no one likes bad endings, or endings at all when u love someone. maybe u need to start hating him, it would help u to move on quicker to be able to see the true him, instead of who u thought he was. but it is hard to admit a mistake in judgment and having to admit u really didn't know him like u thought u did. he didn't just move on just like that she was waiting in the wings for him, it was a pre planned thing at your expense.
2007-10-16 12:09:01 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, let me start off saying you have a really healthy attitude. I say that because its easy to be hateful and spiteful when a relationship comes to an end. Focus on the happy times you had together, and try and learn from the things that didn't work out. Don't focus on where he is living or what he is doing. Focus on you.
You may never have the answers you seek, but that's fine. I know it is easier said than done, but over time it will hurt less and less.
Good luck to you!
2007-10-16 11:47:21 · answer #2 · answered by jka816 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a very good person. I don't believe there is a good answer for this question. My wife of 13 years and 5 kids decided to move on as well. Says she has feelings for someone else and now we are getting a divorce. Now i have to be friends with the woman I love who has feelings for someone else. Sometimes we are forced to deal with the worst. You should not hate him and I should not hate the cop two doors down who logged in 500 cell minutes with my wife, but I do. I blame both of them. If you can let it go, then do it.
2007-10-16 11:45:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to work on getting over this. Grief is a part of any breakup and there is almost always a period of being mad in that grief...for each of us it is different in respect to a time frame.
Being mad at the person that caused you pain is not necessarily hateful...it usually is based in fact. I have a feeling the falling out may have been partly contrived to lay blame on you. He knew he was but didn't want to be perceived as the bad guy.
Stop doing the I should have done this or not done that beat yourself up and concentrate on the reality of what really happened. I bet you'll be mad at HIM in know time!
2007-10-16 12:02:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex fiancee was moving on before you even had that falling out. Maybe not in the cheating sense, but in the relationship sense the heart wasn't in it. All I can say is sometimes loving is letting go and being happy for the other person, you in turn will find your happiness.
2007-10-16 11:41:44 · answer #5 · answered by 20+ years and still in-love! 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think the best way to explain that is the Gestalt prayer:
I am I and you are you
I am not in this world
To live up to your expectations
And you are not in this world
To live up to mine
If by chance we meet,
It's beautiful
If no, it can't be helped.
He was someone very shallow in that he took you for some money and "the works" but you have to think of him as one of the toads you kissed while waiting for the prince who has yet to come.
2007-10-16 12:03:45 · answer #6 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dude i recentlly went trugh the same thing. just forget about her and him and move on . she had it planed for a while . its hard to let go but its the best thing to do,. there is nothing u can do but to move on and be glad it happend cause it did for a reason u may not see it now but u will . i took me almost a yr to see it and boy am i glad she left / now i am living it up and she is missarable/ and what ever u do dont get back with her is she ever decides to come back ... good luck ..
there are so many women out there just look............
2007-10-16 11:45:43 · answer #7 · answered by ernesto l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I get is that the person he left for wasnt that new I'd say he cheated on you with her for quite some time man what an @zz.
Dont try and understand the male psychee its impossible , just take it day by day .And dont speak to him ever again.
2007-10-16 12:26:57 · answer #8 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to say it but he was probably having an affair on you while you two were together. He is not worth crying over. Go out have fun and move on. He is not worth it.
2007-10-16 11:41:29 · answer #9 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. WHEN ONE LEAVES A FAILED RELATIONSHIP AND GOES IMMEDIATELY INTO ANOTHER, THEY WILL CARRY WITH THEM THE UNDERLYING FLAWS THAT REMAIN UNRESOLVED FROM THE PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP. IT IS DESTINED FOR DISASTER. YOU ON THE OTHER HAND ARE IN PROCESS, AND FAR BETTER EQUIPPED TO EXPLORE ALL THE ELEMENTS.
AT THIS TIME YOU ARE PROCESSING THE PAIN, BUT IT WILL PASS AND THEN YOU WILL BE WISER. HE IS TO BE PITIED FOR HIS CHILD LIKE APPROACH. HE WANTS YOU TO SUFFER. DONT
2007-10-17 13:11:04 · answer #10 · answered by tillermantony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋